


In the Wilderness

by Ecrooked24



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-10-17 11:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 38
Words: 67,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10592787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ecrooked24/pseuds/Ecrooked24
Summary: After falling into a trap laid by Cadmus the Danvers sisters must survive in the wilderness and work to escape the dangers waiting for them without any power, supplies, or contact to civilization.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is hopefully only going to be a couple chapters because I am super busy, but I just couldn't get it out of my head. I don't have a beta and I wrote this up really fast so be merciful with my grammar and such.

**Part One**

“Winn I found her heartbeat,” Kara relayed through her comm. She launched towards her target, breaking the sound barrier despite still being over Nation.

“Wait Kara you need backup!" he said, but she wasn’t listening anymore. All of her focus was devoted to one sound, one heartbeat.

Soon, she spotted the large black cargo plane moving sluggishly North through the sky. Slowing from her breakneck speed, she bulleted her way through the cargo hatch in the tail and landed inside. The sudden loss of air pressure sent papers and wind flying against her, but that was nothing to Supergirl. Expecting resistance, she scanned her surroundings but found the fuselage to be empty. No one was on the plane except for a limp figure strapped to a chair in the middle of the floor.

“Oh Rao, Alex! Are you okay?” Kara asked, rushing over to her sister.

“Kara?” Alex said in confusion. Her head lolled as her hair flew all around her face.

“Are you hurt?” Kara asked as she looked over her with her x-ray vision.

“They drugged me, but I’m fine Kara. Just get me out of this chair.” Alex’s words slurred in a worrisome way, but Kara still listened to her sister instructions.

With some deft utilization of her strength, Kara broke the cuffs off Alex’s arms and legs. She helped her up into a shaky standing position supported her so she wouldn't fall.

“Winn I got her,” Kara said but she only got static in return. "Winn? You there?"

“They're probably jamming you,” Alex said, now standing a little straighter. “This has got to be a trap.”

“Then lets get out of here fast.”

They moved to the back of the plane. Kara found a switch and opened the cargo door. Only her solid grip on the wall kept them from being sucked out into the open air.

“Hold onto me and I’ll fly—“ Kara suddenly stopped as she fell to the ground.

Alex tumbled down with her sister. “Kara? What’s wrong?”

Kara didn’t answer. Her eyes were closed tight and her breathing shallow. She looked nauseous. Alex saw that her hands gripped onto the metal floor of the plane so tight that it buckled, but her strength was waning enough that it didn’t rip. Looking around, Alex noticed the sickly green light emanating from the walls of the plane.

The sudden fear for her sister pushed against the effects of the drugs in her system. Alex jumped into action. Frantically, she looked for something to help and thankfully spotted a parachute. She pulled herself through the fuselage, fighting against the suction of the open tail section, until she reached the pack. Quickly she strapped it onto herself and made her way back to Kara.

“Kara I got a parachute. I need you to stand up so I can put the straps on.”

With Alex’s help, Kara was able to lift her trembling body. Alex tried to get the straps onto Kara, but the blonde was stiff and wouldn’t move.  
               “Kara I need you to help me with this.” When her sister didn’t respond, Alex looked away from the parachute straps and up to Kara’s eyes. They were glassy, but her head was tilted as if she was listening to something.

“Kara!” Alex said, shaking her shoulder.

Her eyes still glazed she said quietly to herself, “I hear something.”

“What?”

Kara recognized what the quiet ticking she heard was and suddenly was much more focused, “Alex there’s a bomb.”

Alex immediately reacted and pulled them towards the edge of the plane. But the kryptonite was taking its toll. Kara could barely stand, let alone move.

“Just go Alex,” Kara mumbled. Alex ignored her and kept pulling her sister to the back of the plane.

Kara heard as the ignition system of the bomb click into action. “Go Alex!” she screamed as she used her last bit of strength to shove her sister out of the plane.

Alex toppled head over heels into the open sky. She flipped herself around, searching for her sister, but she was too far away now to see her collapsed, still in the plane. Seconds later the plane exploded in a fiery green blast, splitting it in half and sending shrapnel and heat flying towards her.

“KAAARRRAAA,” Alex screamed. She didn’t see her fly free of the blast. She searched desperately for any sign of red and blue amongst the green smoke. Tears from more than just the wind streamed back into her hair. She wanted to keep searching without the hindrance of the parachute but the ground was approaching too quickly. Alex finally pulled the cord and release the chute. Her body jerked as her fall was slowed to a lazy descent. She whipped the tears from her eyes and went back to searching for Kara, hoping to see her fly up next to her whole and healthy. There were no signs of her sister.

As Alex got closer and closer to the earth the more panicked she became. Forcing herself to breath, she went through her plan. She needed to find Kara. She had to have fallen with the wreckage of the plane. Alive. She had no way of contacting the DEO, but she had to believe that they were looking for them and they would have hopefully find them soon. She would worry about that later though. Her priority was Kara.

Once she hit the ground, Alex scanned the horizon until she spotted smoke. She had her heading and now she was in for a long walk.


	2. Wrecked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's Point of View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment when you write a quick fic not expecting anyone to care and it gets a bigger response than your other works that are longer and you put more energy into. Well anyway thanks for all the responses! Again forgive any misspellings and grammar mistakes, I only reread through it once.

Kara remembered pushing her sister out of the plane. She remembered the explosive heat and kryptonite shards searing her skin. She remembered falling, falling, falling. She didn’t remember landing.

Waking up someplace new was always disorienting for Kara… especially when it’s at the bottom of a crater covered in a pile of twisted and torn metal. Looking up, she could just barely see a slice of sky not blocked by the plane wreckage. Without thinking she tried to shift onto her stomach so she could crawl out. A scream tore from her throat, and she squeezed her eyes shut, fighting against unconsciousness. Once the black spots disappeared, she looked down at herself. A large piece of metal lay diagonally across her body. When she had moved, it had sliced into her shoulder. Within her view was a large kryptonite shard lodged in her right side. The sight of her blood, tinged green, made her dizzy. She quickly looked away and focused on the rest of her body. One of her legs felt fine, but when she budged her left it sent white hot bursts of pain jolting up her body. Her arms hurt. She couldn’t see them, but she guessed they were bloody and bruised, but she could move them a little without extreme pain so they were at least not broken.

With her injuries now at least somewhat taken into account, Kara lay there thinking of a plan. Already she could feel herself being pulled back into unconsciousness. She was losing too much blood. But she needed to get out of the crater. She had to believe that Alex was okay and that she was looking for her, but she doubted her sister would be able to find her beneath all the wreckage.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to squirm out from beneath the metal that pinned her to the ground, but she couldn’t get out of its grip. She squirmed harder, but had to stop when her body protested. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. She was going to be trapped there forever. The metal surrounding her seem to press in tighter. Kara shut her eyes and forced herself to take deep breathes. After a few moments, she felt calm enough to try again. This time she pushed up against the piece above her and lifted it just high enough for her to wriggle out from beneath it. She bit back a scream as she jostled her injuries, but she was able to get free. Panting heavily, she let the blinding pain fade to a more manageable level.

Now she just needed to climb out of the crater. It was a slow and painful process. Every movement hurt. Sometimes she had to climb over or duck under the crumpled metal of the plane which only served to aggravate her injuries more. Kryptonite was everywhere. She tried to avoid it as much as possible, but she ended up with shards embedded in her hands and knees.

By the time Kara finally pulled herself over the ledge of the crater, it was starting to get dark. She looked around and found that they had flown far enough North away from the city that she was now surrounded by dense forest. She didn’t have enough brain power to decide whether that was bad or not.

With all the energy she could muster, Kara got to her feet. She started taking shaky steps into into the trees and away from the glowing green wreckage, but she couldn’t put any weight on her left leg without being overwhelmed by pain. After several minutes of this she collapsed against a tree.

She could still feel the effects of the massive amounts of kryptonite radiating from the plane, but she had no more strength to go further. She wiped the sweat from her forehead. Looking down at hands she saw they were covered with blood, her arms too.

“I’ll deal with it when I wake up,” she mumbled to herself.

Slowly she eased her exhausted body flat against the ground and drifted into unconsciousness.

* * *

A howl, too close for comfort, ripped her from her sleep. It was dark and the late October weather was chilly to Kara without her powers to dull her sense of temperature. She sat up with a groan and waited to see if the howl was real or just something she had dreamed up. A few seconds later, another howl tore through the air, followed by several others.

Now alert and tense, Kara searched her disoriented mind for some plan. She was feeling like the opposite of bulletproof and she had no means of protecting herself. She wished desperately that the wolves would just leave her alone, but that hope was dashed when she heard yet another howl, this time only about a hundred yards away.

With all the kryptonite in the plane, finding shelter there wasn’t an option. She couldn’t stay where she was unprotected. Quickly, she recognized that her best chance of survival would be to climb a tree.

Fortunately, the one she was now leaned against seemed reasonably climbable. It was a large oak with thick boughs and lots of places to grab hold of. The only problem was she was weak and could only really use one leg. Another howl, even nearer this time, sent her into action despite her wounds.

Using mostly her arms, she pulled herself up to the first branch only a few feet into the air. She would need to go higher if she wanted to be safe from the wildlife. Slowly, she made her way about halfway up the tree- about twelve feet. She could just barely make out blurry gray shapes stalking around the shadowy base of the tree below her. She found a branch to wedge herself somewhat comfortably against and waited for them to leave her alone. She hoped that Alex was faring better than her and had found some shelter or better yet the DEO. Her thoughts turned back to herself as she realized she was getting dizzy from blood loss again. Reaching back behind her she grabbed her cape and bunched it against her oozing side. The kryptonite shard was still lodged there, but she wasn’t sure if she could stop the blood flow if she moved it and with her powers blown it wouldn’t heal right away. It was a problem she would deal with in the daylight, but that night she just sucked in a breath and pushed her fisted cape against her side despite the pain. Her left leg was still bleeding, but she didn’t know what she could do about that and chose to ignore it.

All of her energy had been spent getting up in the tree and now she had to focus on not toppling out of it. The random noises from the prowling wolves below kept her on edge for a while, but soon the blood loss and exhaustion forced her back into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do I know about wolves? Basically nothing so ignore anything that is unrealistic for the sake of fiction being fictional. Please let me know what you think so far. I'm using this as a writing practice so any critic would be much appreciated. Also what do you think should happen in the story? Any ideas or suggestions? I have a general idea but I'd like to hear from you guys. Well I should have another chapter uploaded sometime tomorrow hopefully, but no promises.


	3. Hunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's Point of View (mostly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad I said no promises when it came to updating yesterday. Thanks so much for the responses it really helps me be motivated to write.   
> Somehow this has turned into an unintentional Grey's Anatomy reference. I doubt it will be as sadistic though (Shonda Rhimes is evil) but it might come close I have decided yet. Well anyways, enjoy!

From what she had seen in her descent, Alex guessed she was about ten to twelve miles away from the plane wreckage. Between her and the rising green smoke was thick vegetation and steep hills. She estimated that it would take her about three hours to make the trek. Judging by the drooping sun in the sky she only had a few hours of light left. She didn’t want to be without shelter at night, so she wasn’t going to waste any time getting started.

Quickly, she folded up her parachute and replaced it back in its pack. She didn’t have any supplies out here, and she wasn’t going to leave anything behind even if it meant she would be weighed down a bit. After adjusting the straps so that it comfortably rested on her shoulder, Alex set off.

She tried to convince herself that she was just on a nature hike. A fun outing. Not lost. Not searching for her sister. Her sister that was definitely injured. Maybe dead. Nope. Just a nice day out in nature.

The thick assortment of coniferous and deciduous trees created a canopy over her head, effectively blocking her view of the smoke. Every few hundred yards she stopped to climb a tree and re-center her course on her target.

As the miles inched by, Alex felt the last drowsy effects of the Cadmus drugs leave her system. It had been a cut and dry mission; surveying a warehouse that had possibly housed Cadmus activity wasn’t very hard. But she had gone off on her own to investigate the building-- like an idiot—and hadn’t even realized she was being followed until she felt the needle plunge into her neck. The next thing she knew she was sluggishly waking up to her sister rescuing her. Or at least trying to. It had of course been a trap. Alex was the perfect bait for Kara. And now because Alex didn’t pay attention to her surrounding, Cadmus might have succeeded in their goal.

No. She wasn’t going to think that. She would have plenty of time for guilt after she found Kara.

After scaling another tree, Alex found that she was now only about three miles away, but it was rapidly getting dark. The labyrinthine vegetation and the heavy parachute pack had slowed her down. She wasn’t sure if she was going to arrive at the plane wreck before the sun completely set. She decided she would just take the risk and continue to walk through the night. If Kara had to be out there without shelter than she would too.

It wasn’t much longer before the last tendrils of light leaked away. The moon wasn’t quite full, but it was luminous enough that Alex could—for the most part—walk without tripping over roots and branches constantly. She had gone quite a ways since the last time she had climbed a tree, so when she spotted an elm that didn’t seem too hard to climb she decided to check her direction. Dropping her pack at the foot of the tree, she sped up the branches as fast as she could until she had a clear view of the horizon. Slightly to the East, she could just see the outline of the billowing smoke against the stars. She was close. Really close.

A howl of a wolf split the ambient silence. Alex froze. Her thoughts careened towards one subject. Kara. The wolves were after Kara.

She jumped from her perch in the tree and rolled as she hit the ground. Immediately, she grabbed the pack and started sprinting. She spotted a broken branch lying in her path and scooped it up, figuring that it could at least act somewhat like a weapon. The closer she got to the plane the louder the howls became.

Kara. Kara. Kara, thundered in Alex’s head with every bounding step.

She burst into a clearing of flattened trees. The remnants of the plane, smoldering green in the center, lit the area.

“Kara! Where are you?”

No answer.

“Karrraaa!”

This time she received a deep growl emanating behind her in reply. Alex whipped around and spotted a pair of reflective eyes watching her. She held the branch in front of her and slowly backed towards the wreckage. Getting herself killed wasn’t going to help Kara. But keeping the wolf’s attention on her might. She still needed to get out of the wolf’s reach. As she back away, it slowly followed her into the clearing. Another join it from the left, and then two more at the right. They were surrounding her. Glancing over her shoulder, she found a piece of wreckage-- a wing-- that looked high enough to provide some protection. She prayed it wouldn’t break underneath her. After waiting a second to compose herself, she hurled her stick at the nearest wolf and darted to the plane. With a running jump, she caught the upper edge of the broken metal wing. The sharp edges sliced her hand, but her grip was firm and strong. She pulled herself up quickly to avoid the snapping maws beneath her.

Balancing on the metal ledge, she tried to take deep breaths to slow her frantically pounding heart. Down below, the wolves prowled and yipped angrily. She broke off some stray metal pieces and hurled them at the predators. Most hits they just brushed off, but a few were big and sharp enough that they snarled when the pieces smashed against their backs and heads.

They didn’t for very long. Alex watched them start circling the plane, looking for some way up to her. Well, if they weren’t going to just sit around than neither was she.

Carefully clambering through the twisted metal, Alex searched for Kara.

“Kara? Kara?”

The continued silence made her more and more anxious.

In her hunt, she found a long thin piece of metal that Alex claimed as her new weapon. Now somewhat more confident, Alex descended deeper into the tangled plane. All night, she hunted for her sister, ever keeping a watchful eye out for the wolves hunting her.

With the sun beginning to rise, she finally spotted something. On a metal sheet wedged into the ground near the edge of the crater was a streak of blood. Alex quickly climbed over to it. Up close, it looked like a swiped handprint. Reaching from her still slightly elevated position, Alex brushed her finger against it. It was dry and cracked. She pulled her hand back and examined the red crust dusting her fingers. The slightly green tinge told it was definitely Kara’s, but that did little to reassure her. She looked around for any more signs of her sister, but couldn’t see anything from where she was still up in the wreckage. Willing to take the risk she jumped down on the ground. Standing still and silent for a moment, she waited to hear anything that would signal the approach of the wolves, but when there was nothing she cautiously began hunting for more clues.

Soon she found more blood. A trail of it, accompanied by pressed grass and footprints. Alex followed it, each step bringing her closer and closer to her sister.

* * *

Kara’s dreams were twisted and surreal. One minute she was eating potstickers the next they had transformed into giant bugs crawling all over and biting her. She was at the DEO talking with Alex and then they were separated by a minefield of kryptonite explosives where every step towards her sister burned with pain. She was soaring peacefully high in the air and then she was falling and she couldn’t stop. Down, down, down she went. The rush of wind on her face made her eyes flutter open and she realized a second before hitting the ground that she really was falling from her bed in the tree.

The impact ripped an unearthly scream from her lungs. She blacked out for a few moment, but the blissful oblivion didn’t last. She had never felt pain like this before, not in all her crime fight or her encounters with villainous kryptonite weapons. It was debilitating. She couldn’t see. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t hear the large canines approaching her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not sorry, for the sort of cliffhanger.   
> Please talk to me! Tell me about what you think: any ideas or suggestions for the story, anything you liked, anything you didn't like, or just scream at me that's cool too.


	4. Battle Royale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wolf fights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the responses! It might not seem like much, but it does wonders for my self esteem. So disclaimer again, I don't know very much about wolves so dismiss any fallacies. Also probably a trigger warning for violence and blood though its already in the tags I'll add it here just to be safe.

The screamed slammed into Alex’s ears.

Kara.

She ran at the noise. No thought of anything, but how awful that scream was. Thick. Almost fevered.

She saw the wolves first. All four of them closing in on something. A lump on the ground. A quaking, whimpering mound hidden by red fabric. Kara.

With her makeshift sword in hand, she charged the closest wolf. It saw her, but not soon enough. She plunged the metal into its back. Its body collapsed under the blow, and she used her foot to yank the blade out of its flesh. The other wolves had seen her now, but they were still focused on Kara. One sank back on its haunches, tightening its muscles for a pounce. It leapt and Alex leapt too, tackling it to the ground away from Kara.

The animal squirmed in her grip. She had frightened it, but now it was going to fight back. She pushed herself away from it before its claws could get a grip on her. She swung the sword and it connected with the wolf’s snout, spraying blood into the air. It yipped in pain and sprang off back into the woods.

Alex suddenly screamed as teeth sunk into her calf muscle. Instinctively, she lashed out at the wolf gripping her leg, but it brushed off her blows and bit harder. The other remaining wolf tried to take advantage of her weakness and launched at her. She was able to swing her sword at it just fast enough for it to catch the blade with its shoulder; its own momentum pushed it further in. The beast fell to the ground at her feet and pulled away from the weapon. She didn’t stop to watch it speedily limp away.

She immediately turned to the wolf clamped to her leg. It pushed into her and knocked her to the ground. Releasing its grip, it leapt up onto her going for her chest, her throat, the vital stuff. She threw her hands up to shield herself and its teeth dug into her right forearm. She screamed again. With her left hand, she punched its head until it let go and took a step back in a slight daze. Alex scooted back as quickly as she could, crying out in pain as she put pressure on her wounds. She had to get some distance between them. Her sword worked best at a distance.

“Al-Alex?” Kara mumbled loud enough to pull both her and the wolf’s attention away from each other.

The wolf knew that Alex was injured now, but she wouldn’t go down completely without a fight. Kara on the other hand… The wolf left Alex and made a move towards her sister. It bit into Kara shoulder and started to shake its head, ripping skin and fabric. Kara shrieked and tried to push it off with her other hand, but her attempts were weak and had no effect.

Alex’s body hurt. She was exhausted. But nothing could jolt her into action quicker than the sight of Kara in pain.

The wolf had thought she was down at least for the moment, and she used this for her benefit. As another peal of raspy screams tore through Kara, Alex jumped onto the wolf, pressing the blade into its side with all her weight. They tumbled, rolling over top of one another, and fell apart in their own separate heaps, Alex bringing her sword with her. She pushed herself to her feet and stared down the wolf as it rose.

“Get out of here! Go before I kill you,” she screamed as she waved the sword at it.

It stood still for a second, sizing her up.

And then stumbled away into the woods. She watched it until it disappeared amongst the trees. Her shoulders heaved and her hands hung, shaking, at her sides. She waited to see if it would return. If some new danger would arise. But nothing did.

A shuddered groan, ripped her from her watch. She turned to see Kara trying to rise, but failing and collapsing back to the ground with a thud. Alex rushed back over to her.

“You’re okay. Stop moving. Stay still. You’re okay. Everything’s okay,” she said almost in a chant. She detached Kara’s cape and tried not gasp at the sight of her bloody and torn uniform. The fabric was purple.

“Al-lex, the wolv-ves… are y-ou h-h-hurt,” Kara stuttered through shallow breaths.

“I’m fine. Let’s worry about you for now,” Alex answered. “I’m going to flip you onto your back. Is that alright?”

Alex knew it was a risk to move her so much, but she needed to know the full extent of her injuries before she started treating them.

Kara gave a sharp nod and tightened her jaw, preparing for the pain.

Alex tried to be as gentle as she could, but everywhere she touched elicited a sharp intake of breath and every movement released a whimper. She pushed her onto one side and then lowered her onto her back. Once the movement stopped, Kara moaned quietly both in pain and relief.

Alex now scanned her sister’s full form. All the injuries. All the blood. The kryptonite.

“Oh Kara…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will fight anyone who doesn't think that Alex wouldn't fight anything to protect Kara. She would literally punch a wolf.  
> Well anyways.. what do you think? How do you think Alex is going to take care of her and Kara without any supplies? How are they going to get found? Are they going to survive? Let me know you're thought.  
> Any comments of constructive criticisms or things you like about my writing specifically are hugely appreciated (though any comment is appreciated really)  
> I'm not sure when I'll have the next chapter up, but I'll do my best to make it soon.


	5. Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't planning on updating today but I ended up ditching my Astro class to pack and write instead   
> Yet another disclaimer, I don't know much about medicine and doctoring. I did some research, but not much so again dismiss the discrepancies and focus on the story instead.  
> Thanks so much for all the responses. It really is the best feeling when you guys leave comments and kudos  
> Well enjoy!

Instead of letting the panic set in, Alex immediately switched into action mode. She decided that the kryptonite shard lodged in Kara side was the most serious and therefore needed to be treated first. She opened her backpack and pulled the parachute out. Using the edge of her metal sword, she ripped out a large swath of it.

“Kara, I’m going to get this shard out. It’s going to hurt… probably a lot, but you can’t move. You’ll only aggravate your other injuries,” Alex instructed as she prepared to pull on the shard.

Kara didn’t answer, she couldn’t say anything between her shallow breathes, but she was able to form a slight thumbs up with one of her hands. She screwed her eyes shut and waited for Alex to act. The older sister took a deep breath and gripped the shard. As carefully as she could, she slid it out of her sister skin. Kara didn’t scream instead she made a low breathy moan that sounded so much worse. But she kept still. Once it was removed, Alex hurled the shard towards the wreckage then rapidly began to put pressure on the wound. Kara winced under Alex’s hands.

“Ribs…” Kara breathed out.

“They are probably broken, but I have to keep you from bleeding out.” She continued to push and Kara winced again, louder this time. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

It took several minutes before the blood flow started to slow. The swath she had cut was now saturated with blood, but she ripped out more from the parachute and replaced the makeshift bandage. Alex was so glad that she hadn’t left the parachute behind. Using another strip of fabric, she loosely tied the new swath to the wound, keeping it in place without putting too much stress on Kara’s ribs.

Her next goal was getting the rest of the kryptonite away from her sister. She hunted up and down Kara’s body, carefully picking the green rocks out of her skin and throwing them. Kara continued to whimper and wince at every touch, but the sounds became less intense and frequent the longer Alex worked. As more and more kryptonite left so did the tension in Kara’s body. After two more full body searches without finding anything, Alex started to bandage the all the major wounds she could find while making a mental list of all Kara injuries. It was almost too long to keep track of. She moved towards her head and cleaned away the rivers of blood down the side of her face. The cut on her right temple would need stitches (like so many of the other injuries), but Alex didn’t have the means. She just wrapped a piece of parachute fabric around her head like she had done with the other wounds she had tended too. Suddenly, Alex realized that Kara wasn’t making sounds when she touched her anymore. She cupped both sides of the blonde’s face. Her eyes were closed, but thankfully Alex could hear her shallow breathing.

“Hey Kara, I need you to stay awake. Just for a while longer. Wake up. Please wake up,” Alex said.

Sluggishly, Kara’s eyelids heaved open and she looked into Alex’s eyes. But it was more like she was looking through them, not registering the face in front of her.

“Good, good. I’ll talk to you while I work to help you stay awake.”

Kara’s eyes lost a little bit of their glazed look. “O-okay,” she murmured.

“If it hurts to much you don’t need to talk--“

“I’ts f-fine… talking helps.” Kara’s words were punctuated by quick intakes of breath, but seemed coherent enough.

Alex nodded. She continued to wipe up the blood covering her sister and wrapped up any injuries she could. Kara’s arm was burned badly and would need water to help cool it, but Alex didn’t have any. A bandage to help keep out infect would have to suffice for the moment. She could find water later. Hopefully.

“How did you get over here away from the wreck?” she asked trying to distract both Kara and herself from her anxieties.

“I crawled… to get away… from kryptonite.”

“And you spent all night here on the ground?”

“No I slept… in tree…“

Alex stopped her work for a second. “How did you manage to climb a tree after being blown up and falling thousands of feet? You really are supergirl.”

Kara chuckled which then turned into a coughing fit. She panicked when she couldn’t draw in enough air between coughs. Alex rubbed Kara’s unburned arm and whispered soothing phrases to try and calm her.

“Just take deep breaths, relax. In and out. It’s okay. You can do it,” Alex repeated until the coughing stopped wracking her sister’s body. Specks of blood dribbled out of the side of her mouth. Alex wiped it away and added lung damage to the mental list of Kara’s injuries.

Finally able to breathe easier again, Kara said, “I feel like the opposite… of super.”

“Well I’m going to try and fix that as quickly as possible.” Alex focus now switched to Kara’s leg. It lay awkwardly like no possible position was comfortable. She moved closer to inspect it, but continued to talk to Kara. “So why did you get down from the tree?”

“I didn’t, I fell.”

The last puzzle piece of the story dropped into place in Alex’s mind, and she now understood the full story.

Kara spoke before Alex could. “Thanks… for stopping… the wolves.”

Alex stopped her work again and looked her sister in the eyes. “Kara, I would do anything to protect you.”

The younger girl just smiled. And then something flashed in her eyes. Something along the lines of realization. “Alex… the wolves… are you hurt…,” she scoured over what she could see of Alex’s body and alighted on her bloody arm. “You’re arm… you need to fix yourself up… before you take care of me.”

“I’m fi—“ Alex was cut off by Kara’s glare. She glared back, but Kara’s pout really was too powerful. She looked away. “Brat. I guess I’ll bandage it up.”

She made a show of wrapping the bite while Kara continued her scrutiny.

“Do your leg too,” Kara added.

Alex groaned, but complied.

Once she was finished she couldn’t say the bandages helped make her wounds hurt less, but Kara looked less stressed and Alex knew that last thing Kara needed right now was too be worried about her. She just needed to focus on herself. On getting better.

“Okay punk, I’m all fixed up. Now back to you.” She went to go back to work, but Kara held up a hand.

“Tell me what we’re dealing with?”

“Are you sure? It’s not pretty,” Alex said hesitantly.

“Not knowing isn’t going to make me heal any faster… I want to know.”

Alex let loose a long sigh. “Okay… from what I can tell without any equipment you sustained lacerations over most of your body probably from the shrapnel, your left arm and shoulder have second degree burns, the bite in your right shoulder has torn into the ligaments and muscles, you have broken ribs but I’m not sure how many, your left leg is broken although your boot has done a pretty good job at stabilizing it, you possibly have a concussion, you definitely have lung damage either from the blast or the impact, and your powers are blown so you are highly susceptible to infection and disease.”

Kara was silent for a couple seconds before responding lightly, “That’s all?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as intense as the last chapter, but hopefully still good? Let me know what you think of my writing please I need constructive criticism  
> Any ideas or suggestions on how Alex is going to fix up Kara? or survive without supplies? or get found? I'd love to hear them  
> Also I'm going home for the weekend and will be spending most of my time with my family so I might not have another chapter up for a bit but who knows maybe I'll find some time.


	6. Salvaging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some survival skills from Alex with some sister fluff tossed in the mix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but I was with family and they take priority over fanfiction. However, this chapter is a little bit longer to make up to you guys.  
> Its a little bit of a slow chapter and somewhat fillery, but I promise there will be more stuff happening in the next chapter so don't stop reading.  
> Thanks again for all the support and responses!

Alex finished bracing Kara’s leg and then stood up shakily on her feet. The sun was high in the sky and quickly burning off the cool night air. Where Kara lay, the sunlight was obscured by the branches of the tree.

“Do you think you’re up for moving? Just a little bit. I want you to get as much sunlight as possible and it’s too shady here.”

“Yeah let’s do it,” Kara said.

Alex grabbed Kara’s hands and helped pull her into a sitting position. Kara contained the cries of pain that fought to escape her and prepared for the next steps in the process.  Alex crouched down next to Kara and pulled her left arm over her shoulder. Slowly, she dragged to her feet or at least to one foot (Kara’s left leg dangled uselessly in the makeshift brace). As they started walking closer to the sunlit clearing, Kara did her best to support her own weight knowing that Alex had her own injuries to deal with. The longer she was up though the more she had to lean against her sister. By the time Alex stopped and helped Kara back to the ground, Kara’s vision sported black spots and her breathing was even more shallow and erratic.

“You just soak up the sun and rest for a bit. I’m going to work on salvaging some things from the plane. I’ll check on you every couple minutes, but you still shout if anything happens or you need anything.”

Kara mumbled out something that sounded vaguely like “okay”. She closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of the sun against her skin, wishing desperately to feel the hum of her cells to start. But they remained silent. Still, the sun slowly lulled her into a light sleep.

Alex watched from a distance to be sure Kara was okay for the moment. She waited until she saw her breathing even out. Good, she’s sleeping. She needs it. Alex hesitantly looked away and started exploring the wreck. She searched for anything that could possibly be helpful, but her main goal was materials for a shelter. Just like she promised, every few minutes she checked on her sister and waited until she could spot the rise and fall of her chest.  When Alex found something useful, she dragged it back to a pile near Kara. She was sure to remove any kryptonite before she brought it over.

After several hours, Alex thought she had collected enough and plopped down gracelessly next to Kara. She felt like she had no energy left in her body. She hadn’t slept at all the night before, she’d battled a pack of wolves, and now she had spent the day hauling big pieces of metal. But she still had more to do before it got dark. She could take one moment to catch her breath though. She lay down parallel to Kara and allowed herself to close her eyes for just a second. Almost immediately, she started to drift off to sleep, not realizing that time was flowing by. She was pulled back into consciousness by the searching tough of Kara’s hand against hers. Alex caught the younger girl’s fingers and clenched them gently in her own. She allowed herself a few more second to draw comfort from Kara before she sat up. Kara’s eyes fluttered open and looked at Alex questioningly.

“You go back to sleep. I’m just going to build us a shelter. I’ll be just a few feet away,” Alex said as she squeezed her hand reassuringly.

“I’ll help,” Kara mumbled as she tried to sit, but Alex pressed her back to the ground.

“I need you to rest and work on getting better. Let me handle everything else.”

Kara sighed defeatedly. “At least promise that you won’t push yourself too far… and that you’ll ask for help if you need it.”

Alex smiled.  “Okay Kara, I will.”

She got up and started working. The metal was twisted and heavy making it hard to move. Alex laboriously leaned two large metal plates against each other, creating a triangular tent. She wedged several narrow pieces against the bigger ones to keep them stable. Once the basic structure was built, Alex started make it more comfortable.  She wandered the woods within a twenty-yard radius and collected as many leaves and pine needles as she could find. When she had created a big enough pile, she started distributing the leaves along the floor of the lean-two and on top of the metal plates. All of this served to create some insulation to hopefully keep them warmer and more comfortable. When the piles where all gone, Alex stepped back to admire her work. It was ugly, but good enough to provide her and her sister some shelter. Now it was time to get a fire started.

First, she found as many branches and kindling as she could and then used her sword to scratch off some tinder from what she had collected. It was times like these that made her really glad the DEO training had included the teaching of survival skills. She built a hand drill and fire board out of branches. With everything prepared, Alex got down onto her knees and started to spin the hand drill in a notch on her fireboard—working, practically praying, for an ember. The sun, now falling in the West, roasted her back. She had to incessantly wipe the sweat from her forehead to keep it from dampening the tinder. After almost an hour of spinning the stick, her hands had blisters and her back was twisted with knots. What she wouldn’t do for just a second’s worth of Kara’s heat vision. But this was no time for desperate wishes. She continued her efforts for another half an hour, or maybe it was a full hour (that’s what it felt like at least). And it came. A single glowing ember. Gently, Alex blew on it as she pushed it into the tinder. It didn’t take. She blew just a little harder, but not hard enough to blow it out. The seconds dragged by. She waited, waited, waited, to see if the ember lit the tinder. A curl of smoke rose from the tinder. A few more seconds passed. More smoke. Then a small tendril of flame. Alex gasped. Quickly, she added small twigs to the burning tinder. The fire grew. Alex continued to add sticks—increasingly larger—until she had a strong fire. She dug a small trench in the dirt around it to keep it from spreading. Already the long flames cast flickering shadows in the fading sunlight.

Alex was done. She limped back over to Kara and found her sister looking up at the sky.

“The stars are coming out,” Kara said, her voice quiet. Reverent. “I bet they are so much brighter out here. Even brighter than at Midvale.”

Alex sat down next to her. “I bet you’re right. If you ignore all the bad parts of this situation it’s almost like those nights, we spent as kids when I taught you Earth’s constellations.”

“I miss those nights. We should do this more often.”

“Well how about this? When we get out of here and you are all healed up, we can take a trip to Midvale and visit mom and spend some nights stargazing,” Alex suggested, rubbing Kara’s shoulder.

Kara nodded fervently—until the sharp movements made her wince and stop.

Alex took this as her cue. “But we can’t do that tonight. It’s getting cold and I want you in the shelter. Are you up for moving?”

“Of course,” Kara said. She heaved herself up into a sitting position with a groan.

“Hey, woah, let me help you,” Alex said. With Kara’s arm over Alex’s shoulders again, they shuffled over to the metal lean-two. Both girls did their best to contain any sounds of pain, but both still grunted and hissed as they jarred their injuries. It took some work to get Kara fully into the shelter without knocking it over, but they eventually were able to scoot her into it. She lay down on the leaf floor and panted. Alex crawled in and sat next to her, breathing just as hard. Alex might have been exhausted, but she still noticed through her clenched jaw and slight trembling that Kara was trying to how much pain the move had caused. Alex held Kara’s hand and rubbed circles on it with her thumb.

“Do you think the sun helped at all?” Alex asked once the signs of Kara’s pain started to fade.

“Maybe... I don’t think so,” Kara said. “Maybe tomorrow will be better though. Or maybe the DEO will find us and then you won’t have to worry.”

“We’ll see,” Alex sighed. “The fire should ward off any creatures that might want to eat us, but I’ll keep watch just in case.” She grabbed her sword from where she had rested it outside the shelter and laid it in her lap.

“Alex don’t be dumb. You can barely keep your eyes open. You’ve been working all day and all I did was lay around.” Kara held up her hand to shushed any interruption from her older sister. “You sleep and I’ll watch. In the morning, I’ll sleep out in the sun. I’ll toss wood on the fire when it needs it and I’ll wake you up if I hear anything alarming.”

Alex tried to think of a counterargument, but her sleep deprived brain couldn’t come up with anything. “Okay, but if you start to get too tired or something starts to hurt or—“

Kara stopped her. “I’ll wake you up, I promise. Now _sleep.”_

Alex didn’t need Kara to tell her again. She lay back on the cushioned ground—the sword still in her grip—and closed her eyes. Kara, who was now sitting up and leaning against the shelter wall, heard her sister’s breathing deepen a few minutes later.

She was glad Alex was finally getting some rest. If she hadn’t been so out of sorts, Kara would never have let Alex work herself so hard—at least without her help. But all she could do for her sister was help her get a good night’s sleep.

 Although she was infinitely thankful for all Alex had done, Kara was glad to have a moment without her sister watching her. She didn’t have to try and withhold any signs of pain. Alex didn’t need to worry more about her. Or know how much everything hurt. Kara didn’t know how humans handled pain like this. On Krypton she had felt pain, but that had been so long ago it was only a vague memory. Her more recent crime and alien fighting had left her injured sometimes, but never this bad. She was worried. Her lungs didn’t feel right and her burns stung and the broken bones sent stabs of pain every time she moved and the cuts. Oh, the cuts burned worse than the actual burns. Kara didn’t know if her lack of pain tolerance was to blame for how bad she felt or if she really was in that bad of a condition. She didn’t want to think about what it would mean for her chances of survival if the latter was the answer.

Kara did her best to think of happier thoughts. She tossed branches from the wood pile at the opening of the shelter into the fire absentmindedly. Alex occasionally shifted in her sleep. One time she cried out as if in fear or pain, but it didn’t occur again so Kara figured it had just been a bad dream. She rubbed her sister back, hoping to dissuade any nightmares. The night continued on with only the noise of bugs and small night creatures to entertain her. It started to become uncomfortably hot in the shelter with both Alex and Kara packed in tight. Kara had to mop up sweat falling down her face with her torn sleeves. She let the fire die down some to try and lower the temperature, but it didn’t help much.

By the time the sun started to rise Kara felt almost delirious, but she still managed her morning prayers to Rao. Carefully, she lowered herself into a laying position and from there she shook her sister until she woke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some good (bad for the Danver's sister) stuff planned for the coming chapter so stay tuned. I'll have the next chapter up by Wednesday night at the latest, but hopefully tomorrow night if I can get my school papers written fast enough.  
> So I ask this every time, but what did you think? Any thoughts? Any suggestions or ideas? I'd love to strike up a conversation whether its in the comments or if you'd like to venture to my trash tumblr my username is ecrooked24 there as well. I might possible start taking prompts to continue practicing writing so you could do that if you wanted to  
> Thanks!!!


	7. Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solely Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the wait and the shortness of the chapter but with school and a virus on my lap top I have plenty of excuses.  
> Soooo I'm not sure how I'm feeling about the writing of this chapter so sorry if its not good, but I wanted to get an update for you guys so I wrote it up fast. Hopefully its not too bad

Before her eyes even opened, Alex bolted upright ready to fight.

“S’okay, just need to sleep now,” Kara mumbled.

Alex parted her eyelids and relaxed her posture. She looked down at her sister who lay slightly curled at her side—already asleep. Outside the orange light of the early morning sun was steadily growing brighter. She had slept all night. Alex turned back to Kara. She really should get her into the sunlight, but she looked so exhausted. Too exhausted to be moved. She also looked a little sweaty. That was worrisome. Then again, Alex felt sweaty herself. The shelter was hot with both of them in it. Alex decided she would go out to search for water and let Kara rest in a hopefully cooler shelter without her there.

She nudged Kara. “I’ll be back soon. Call out if you need anything.”

Kara grumbled out an “okay” as she shifted to a more comfortable position.

Alex crawled out of the lean-two. She stood and stretched her arms and groaning pleasantly at the pull on her muscles. The air was still chilly. It tickled her lungs as she breathed in and out. She stayed there for several minutes enjoying the peace. But there were things to do. She set out. Water was top of her priority list. There had to be some somewhere in this forest.

The day before, Alex had found a piece of metal that was semi bowl shaped. She picked it up from the remaining pile of scavenged materials. Using her feet she bowed the metal more, so it would hold water better. After stuffing it into her pack she began the search. Alex started within a narrow radius of the shelter and moved outwards. No water. She returned to check on Kara. The blonde was still asleep and Alex didn’t want to wake her.

She started her search again, this time farther. Alex didn’t want to leave Kara unprotected, but they needed to find water soon or they would die of thirst. Away from the clearing, she walked downhill. Water flowed downhill. She hunted, wandering through the pines and oaks. For a long time, she found more pinecones than anything else. But then she spotted a streak of bright green plants against the yellower foliage. Green meant water. Alex dashed to the streak and dropped to her knees. Trickling amongst the green roots was a small stream. Suddenly her mouth felt like there wasn’t a single drop of moisture in her system. Which of course wasn’t true, she told herself. And she couldn’t drink this water. At least not yet. Not until she made sure it was safe and clean. She pulled out her makeshift bowl and scooped up as much as she could. This wouldn’t be a very efficient way to get water, but it would have to do for now.

It was awkward to carry the bowl. Every step had to be careful or else she’d spill. It took double the time to make the trip back, but eventually the shelter, shining slightly in the morning light, came into sight. As she drew closer, she called out, “Hey Kara! I found some water.” There was no response. Kara could be such a heavy sleeper—after all she had gone through it was doubly expected. Instead of waking her sister, Alex turned instead to the fire. She added wood and blew on it until it was burning strong again. Then she placed the bowl on top of the flames. Now she just had to wait for it to boil. “Kara, I’ll have water for us in just a bit.” Still no response from her sister. Weird. She had made enough noise by now that she should have at least caused Kara to stir. “Kara?” Alex walk closer to the shelter and peered in.

Kara trembled so hard her whole body shook.

“Kara!?” Alex shouted. She dove in next to her sister and searched for what was wrong. Her breathing was coming out in shudders and her eyes were clamped closed. She was drenched in sweat. Alex reached for Kara’s face to try and wake her up but drew back involuntarily. Kara’s skin was scorching. Alex’s brain went into hyper drive. The shaking and temperature meant a fever. Without people around to infect Kara, the fever had to have come from something else, but what? It came to her a second later. Infection.

Alex did her best to hold Kara down as she check all of her wounds. Her legs and torso were fine. (Fine as in they were severely injured but not infected). She moved up to the shoulders. And there it was. Alex took the torn fabric of Kara’s suit over her shoulder and ripped it open further so she had a clear view of the puffy red flesh. Of course the wolf bite had gotten infected. She felt like an idiot for not realizing it before now. She shoved that guilt into the mounting pile with the others she had been collecting to deal with later and prepared to fix the problem as best she could.

Alex rushed back to the fire and pulled the bowl off. Already it was hot and it burned her fingers, but she ignored the pain. With the bowl of water in hand, Alex pulled out more parachute fabric and wet it. Slowly, she washed the wound and worked some of the oozing pus out of the skin with the wet cloth. It wasn’t enough. Alex recognized the symptoms of septicemia—infection spread to the bloodstream. Without proper medical attention it could lead to sepsis.

“Come on J’onn, we could really use a rescue now,” Alex grumbled to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Please let me know your thoughts I'd love to here about anything and everything. (it really helps motivate me so the more comments the fast you get an update if bribery is a thing that works on you)  
> I should have an update by tomorrow night if all goes to plan but my life's a mess so we'll see


	8. Delirium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solely Kara's Pov

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its an even shorter chapter, but I like this one how it is and I don't want to add to much to it so hopefully you like it!

Everything was hot. Sweltering.

“Kara? Kara? Can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?”

Shaking. Everything was shaking, too. Who’s talking?

“I need you to wake up for just a moment Come on Kara.”

Kara recognized the voice now. Why was Alex bugging her? Why couldn’t she just let her go back to sleep?

“Kara please.”

Fine. Kara drug her eyes open. Now everything was blurry. Alex’s face come into focus above hers. Then it blurred again.

“Hey I need you to breath. In and out. You’re not getting enough air, you got to breath deeper. Come on, in and out.”

Kara hadn’t even realized the lack of air in her lungs. But now she felt it. Her lungs and heart seemed to have challenged each other to a race. With the recognition came panic. She needed air. None was coming. She tried to pull in more, but her chest lit on fire at the expansion of her lungs. She was left gasping desperately against the shaking of her body and the flames in her lungs.

“Shh, shh, I know it hurts. It’s okay. You can do it. In and out. In… and out.” The hushed words drew the panic out, along with some deeper breaths. Kara’s chest burned but not as bad as now that she was breathing slower. A hand lay lightly against her chest, helping guide the rise and fall of her chest.

It drew away and arms snaked beneath her body. She whimpered when she was suddenly lifted off the ground.

“It’s okay, we are going to the water to cool you down. Just relax.”

Kara shuttered her eyes against the pain as she shifted in Alex’s arms. She felt Alex low her into what felt like a sling. The familiar fabric of her cape brushed beneath her finger’s. Alex’s arms left her and she missed the contact even though it only made her skin burn worse.

The sling shook. The part by her head lifted and suddenly she lay at an angle. She felt it lurch as Alex’s pulled against it, dragging her above the rocky ground.

“The creek isn’t far. Just hold on.”

Kara didn’t even realize that they were moving. She thought it was weird that sometimes she could see the sunlight dance over her eyelids when other times something dark shadowed her, but she dismissed it. The shadows felt nice. Less hot. She never felt this hot. Not unless she was using her heat vision. Had her powers come back? Wouldn’t she had noticed? If they had why did everything hurt? She would have to let Alex figure it out. Where was Alex? Kara couldn’t even remember where she was. She was too tired to think about anything right now.

Everything was too hard.

So she drifted.

Kara felt the sling lower until it hit the ground. There was a new sound now, near her head, but she couldn’t pin point what it was. It sounded nice though. There was some rustling, the zzwwwip of a zipper, someone panting.

Then the most beautiful sensation washed over her. Frigid rivulet of water ran down her face, neck, chest. So cool. Washing away the grit and heat. Now the gentle rub of a wet cloth joined the water. She moaned in pleasure.

“Open your mouth.”

Kara parted her lips and water dripped to the back of her throat. She swallowed and opened her mouth for more. She hadn’t realized how thirst she was. Every time she opened her mouth more water dribbled in. She didn’t stop until her thirst was finally sated. She didn’t know who was helping her. She should remember. It was on the tip of her proverbial tongue. But still lost on her. That didn’t matter though.

Everything felt better. Cooler. Clearer.

A dagger of pain shot through her shoulder. The wet cloth rubbed hard against the tender skin. She tried to reach up and push it away, but something held her arms down.

“Sorry Kara, I’ve got to do this.”

The pain erupted again. She tried to fight away from the grip, but her strength faded quickly and she gave in. She bit her lips against the pain. The rough rubbing didn’t stop for a while, but it became gentler as time went. Or maybe she just grew used to it.

“Okay now for your burns.”

Her arm was lifted away from her side and pulled out of the sling. The heat had started to leak away from all her body except for that burned arm. Now as it’s lowered into the freezing water, the heat finally falters. She lets her arm stay there. The water rushed over her bare skin and just caught the edge of the remains of her sleeve. Soon her arm felt numb, but Kara didn’t want to pull it out. Didn’t want the skin to start boiling again.

Next to her she heard the slurping of water and then a quiet sigh of relief. Kara recognized somewhere in her murky consciousness that her helper had finally gotten some water for herself. That was good. Whoever it was needed to stop worrying about her so much. Kara felt fine now. She was fine.

Everything was fine. Then everything was dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you for all the comments and kudos!!!!!!!!! I love hearing from you guys so keep it up.  
> I have some new action planned for the next chapter so it should be really good after the cool down time these last few chapters have been. I should have it up by tomorrow night now that my paper is done and I have plenty of time to procrastinate my other projects.  
> Also I did some new writing things with chapter and you should let me know what you think of it? was it effective? or too distracting?  
> THANKS!


	9. Helicopter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making it up to you guys for the last two chapters being so short by giving you the longest one so far. We are getting back into some more action so hopefully you like it!

The thumping of helicopter blades rumbled above Alex’s head. Her head shot up to spot the vehicle, but the trees blocked her view. In her periphery vision she saw, Kara jolted from her rest and try to throw her arms around her head to protect herself, but cried out when her wounds protested.

Alex rushed to her sister and pulled her halfway into her lap. Kara fought against her, but she was too weak to stop Alex. She didn’t seem to understand what was going on, but the loud sound set her breathing erratically again and smashing her hands against her ears. “Kara, Kara, it’s okay. Just calm down. It’s the DEO, they are going to get us out of here,” Alex said but when she turned Kara’s head to look into her eyes she saw they were still glassy and unresponsive The copter blades were too loud, too overwhelming. Alex held on too Kara as tightly as she dared until the helicopter’s roar faded away—towards the plane wreck. As the sounds grew quieter, Kara’s stopped fighting and returned to her fevered rest.

Alex slipped out from under Kara and lay her back down. They needed to get back to the plane wreck as fast as they could or their chance at being rescued might be delayed. And Alex didn’t know how much time Kara had left. Alex looked down at her sister. The shaking that had wracked her body earlier that day had started to return. She knelt down and wiped away the wet golden hair pasted on her forehead before testing her temperature. It had risen again. She would need to stay near the water to keep the fever down. Dragging her all the way back would take too long anyway.

Alex took the fabric she had been using to cool Kara and dipped it into the small stream again. Once it was saturated she lay it across Kara’s head. Her face had been tense and twisted since the sudden awakening, but now relaxed a little. That would have to do for the moment. “Kara, I don’t know if you can hear or understand me, but I’m going to get help. You just stay here and I’ll get help,” she said squeezing Kara’s hand. There was no response, but Alex hoped she would be back before Kara even knew she had left.

Alex stood and after deciding to leave her sword and pack behind, began her sprint unburden back through the woods. The pounding steps made the bite in her calf scream, but the thought of rescue shoved the pain aside. It had to be a DEO copter. They would have a medivac for Kara. She would be alright. They could go home. As she drew closer to the clearing, she could hear the shouts of military-like commands being issued.

It _was_ the DEO.

Alex burst into the clearing. She was several yards away from her shelter. The very shelter that a black clad agent was now searching under the supervision of a huge officer. Alex dashed back into the cover of the trees.

This wasn’t the DEO.

The non-government armor and weapons were the first clue, but as she looked closer at the officers face she couldn’t recognize him. As a senior agent she was in charge of a lot of people, but she made sure that she at least knew the face and name of every officer—and this giant thug was a complete stranger.  

Frozen in the shadow of a tree, Alex waited to see if she had been spotted. When the men showed no indication of seeing anything, she finally released the breath she had been holding. If it wasn’t the DEO then who was it? The army? Alex analyzed the men near the shelter and scattered throughout the rest of the clearing. She had worked with the military before and these guys didn’t act like them. Too disorganized. But still familiar. She had seen these guys somewhere before.

Then it hit her—Cadmus.

Alex wanted to run back to Kara right then. Get her as far away from these Cadmus soldiers as possible. But if they abandoned the plane wreck, the DEO would have no way of finding them (at least not soon enough to save Kara). On the other hand, staying too close would definitely lead to them being caught. After trying to blow them both up in a plane, Alex doubted they would be returning to civilization in any way except for body bags if Cadmus found them.

She needed a plan—one better than just running away.

“Start searching a hundred yard radius. Stay in pairs and report back if you see anything at all,” someone ordered.

Alex watched the two men who had been examining the lean-two enter the woods not too far from where she was. If she caught them unawares, she probably could get the best of them even with her injuries. But it would have to be quiet. If they got one shot off, not only could she be dead or badly injured, but their whole team would rush to assist them. But if she pulled it off, she could steal their supplies. Maybe she could use their radio to signal the DEO. Now she had a plan—maybe a reckless one that Kara would look down on, but Kara was too delirious to even recognize her let alone be worried about her. This plan was their best shot.

She slunk through the woods, quietly tailing the pair of soldiers. They obviously had some military training based on their awareness of their surroundings, but Alex’s training was better. As she followed unseen behind them, she picked up a heavy branch to use as a weapon. (Boy did she miss her alien gun). When they had gotten far enough away from the clearing, Alex made her move.

Coming up quickly and silently behind them, she smashed the larger officers head in with the branch. He gave out a strangled cry then collapsed face first to the ground. His partner yelped in fear and went to fire his rifle. Alex swiped the branch at it and it flew from his hands. She swiped again, aiming for his head. He caught the branch before it hit. He tried to pull it from her grip, but she used his momentum to slam it into his face. The branch fell to the ground between them. He stumbled back a few feet, shaking his head. Alex didn’t give him time to recover. She rushed at him, planning to get behind him and catch him in a hold. But he pulled a long knife from off his hip and stabbed at her. She almost ran her stomach straight into the knife, but managed to twist away enough to only have it slice through her side. Holding back a cry of pain, she slipped in close to him—too close to slash the blade. She smashed her foot into the arch of his and then kneed him in the groin. She caught the arm with the blade and tugged it around his back and rotated it until the knife fell from his fingers. She released the arm. Then wrapped her arms around his neck. He struggled. His strength almost bested Alex, but she held tight. He gasped for breath, but nothing was getting through. Alex squeezed his throat tighter as he grew weaker. When finally his panicked spasms stopped, she dropped him to the ground.

That wasn’t too hard. These Cadmus guys had obviously had pathetic training compared to what she had gone through.

With one hand clutching her bleeding side, Alex searched the solider. Anything and everything would be useful. Knife, hand gun, canteen, Kevlar vest, radio, and more. She didn’t have time to pick through it all, so she took it all and shoved it into his small ruck sack.  She practically stripped him of everything, but his pants and shirt. She moved to the officer and stole as much as she could from him, but the ruck sack was starting to get too heavy. She would just have to deal with the extra weight until she had time to go through it all. Remembering the lost rifle, she found it in some bushes and slung it across her back.

When both men had been robbed of all they had, Alex was still not quite satisfied. She turned to the men she had scuffled with and slammed the toe of her boot against his temple.

“That’s for my sister,” she said.

Finally sated, Alex ran back to her sister. She kept an eye out for any other Cadmus agents and prayed fervently that none of them had got to Kara. She had been away too long. Longer than she had planned. But Kara had to be okay. She had to.

With anxiety pushing her to run faster despite her bleeding side and throbbing calf, Alex made it back to her sister in about five minutes. When she spotted Kara still laying on the sled she had built, she wanted to shout for joy. But she couldn’t. Not with people after them.

Kara was asleep. Her skin was still hot, but not as bad as it had been. Working quickly, she threw the ruck sack into the larger parachute back pack and then resituated Kara on the sled. Once everything was ready, Alex picked up the end of the sled and started making her way downstream. They needed to stay near water, but they couldn’t stay where they were. Thankfully, the creek flowed away from the plane wreckage. The DEO would just have to find them some other way. Hopefully using some of her newly acquired supplies.

Alex trudged on for hours, only stopping once to wrap up the cut on her side. As they followed the water, the hills around them grew steeper and the creek bigger until they were deep in a ravine. It would be good protection, but would provide the set up for a perfect ambush. It made Alex jumpy. But the day starting to draw to a close, and she was too exhausted to find anywhere better. Moving to one of the cliff sides, Alex found an alcove that was fairly hidden by bushes. It took some work to get the sled through the foliage, but eventually she got through. After laying Kara down, Alex took the now dry rag from her forehead and wet it again in the nearby river.

She rubbed the cool fabric over Kara’s sweaty face and neck while she whispered soothingly to her. “Everything is going to be okay. I’ve got some supplies now. I’ll contact the DEO. You just hold on a little longer. Okay? You’re strong and you can do it.” Alex hoped that she wasn’t lying to her.

That night there would be no fire--not with Cadmus searching for them—so as the last bit of sunlight faded the temperature dropped to chilly levels. Alex wrapped the cape around Kara, but kept it loose enough that she wouldn’t overheat. She didn’t have anything for herself but with the heat Kara put out snuggling against her sister would keep Alex plenty warm. Kara couldn’t keep watch tonight, not in her condition, so it was up to Alex to stand guard. But she needed sleep. Grateful for her training, Alex knew how to rest while still being aware of her surroundings. It wasn’t ideal, but they didn’t have any other option.  

With one hand gripping her new gun and the other holding her sister’s hand, Alex drifted into a light sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how was that plot twist? Where you expecting it? What do you think is going to happen now that they are on the run? Any other thoughts? (because I love to hear anything from you guys) 
> 
> Finals week is coming up so I have to start buckling down and writing my papers and studying so updates might start to get a little spottier, but I'll still try my best to keep them coming quickly. (comments are probably my best motivator though so if you want to speed things along get a conversation started with me but only if you want I'm not trying to fish for responses)  
> Thanks for reading so so so much!!!


	10. Supplies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all are so lucky that I'm a masochist and reward myself for writing my paper's with more writing. I guess I get more done when I have less time because this is the longest chapter so far (at least I'm pretty sure of that)
> 
> Its late and I'm tired and have to wake up early tomorrow so I didn't edit this a lot, but I wanted to get this up because I won't have another update until at least Monday night, so ignore any grammar errors, misspellings, etc.   
> Enjoy!

Alex woke several times throughout the night, but never for more than a loud bird call or a sound from Kara—to which she would always respond by rewetting the fabric on Kara’s head and going back to sleep.

When morning arrived, the sunlight fell on Alex’s face and drew her out of unconsciousness. She sat up and stretched. It wasn’t the most restful night (she felt like she could sleep for another ten hours) but it was enough. There were things to do.

Before anything else she needed to check on Kara. Alex pulled the cape off her sister and folded it up. It would make a perfect pillow for Kara and hopefully provide some comfort when she wasn’t getting much else luxury wise. Then Alex started her daily checkup of her sister’s wounds. The burns on her arm seemed to be healing nicely now that the heat had been released. But not much else held as good of news. Despite all that Alex had done to clean the wolf bite, Kara’s shoulder was still infected. Several of her laceration were starting to get red and puffy as well. Her breathing was shallow again—every breath seemed to come with a rasp and make her face twinge in pain. Pneumonia might have developed. And no sign of her powers returning anytime soon.

Alex sighed. She started to clean and redress the wounds as best she could. The time meandered by and Alex found her thoughts following suit as she worked. She would never wish someone into the situation she was in, but Alex could think of a lot of things she would give up just to have some company. Maggie or J’onn or Vasquez or even Winn. She just wanted someone to help her feel less alone, less helpless. If Kara would wake up with a clear head, then maybe Alex wouldn’t have these feelings. But she didn’t know if Kara could wake up. Or ever would again. Not that it was Kara’s fault. None of this was Kara’s fault. Alex knew that if anyone was to blame it was her. If Kara died it would be because of her.

“S-Stop thinking so loud,” Kara rasped.

Alex jumped from where she was leaning over Kara’s chest and fell back onto her rump.

“Sorry—“ Kara was cut off by a hacking cough rising from her throat. Then another and another. She held up a hand to cover her mouth, holding in the mucus and blood but not the whimper after every cough.

“Hey breath, remember? We’ve done this before. In and out,” Alex soothed, pushing Kara’s hair out of her face.

When the coughing stopped and Kara could get at least some air into her lungs, she lay her head back and closed her eyes. It may have been selfish, but Alex didn’t want her to go back to sleep yet.

“Kara are you okay?”

The blonde opened her eyes and looked up at Alex. Her eyes weren’t as glassy as they were before, but they still had a confused and fevered look.

“I don’t know… I don’t… what happened?... Where are we?” she asked though her voice was barely a rough whisper spoken between gasping breathes.

“How much do you remember?”

“I was… then… I don’t know… it’s all hazy… I remember… being really hot… then cold… I can’t remember.” There was a hit of panic creeping into her voice.

“It’s okay. You have a fever so it’s okay to be confused. Cadmus came to the wreck so I had to get us away, but I’m going to start working on a way to contact the DEO. You don’t worry about anything though, just rest.” Alex rubbed Kara’s arms.

“How long was I out?” Normally Kara would at least try and sit up to talk, but her body lay limp. No energy, no strength.

“Just a day.” Alex pulled out one of the stolen canteens and helped Kara drink the whole thing. The river was moving fast enough that it would be clean enough to drink, so water wasn’t going to be a problem.

The liquid helped sooth the pain in Kara’s throat. Her words and breaths came a little easier. “Sorry you had to drag me around.”

Alex went back to taking care of Kara’s wounds as she replied, “I told you don’t worry me.”

“You have to stop worrying… so much too… your thoughts were so angsty… you woke me up.”

“Ha ha,” Alex mock laughed. “Very funny, but it’s my job to worry about you,” Alex huffed.

“I know but… but I can barely think straight… and you have that worried look… its bad… I know… but you got be ready… to leave me—“

“We aren’t going to talk about this,” Alex interrupted.

“But you—“

“No Kara. I’m sorry. It is bad, but we can handle it. Talking about that isn’t going to help.” She glared down at her sister, hoping to get the point across.

“Okay,” Kara sighed. “Just stop blaming yourself. You do that too much Alex.”

“I could say the same for you,” Alex quipped back.

“I guess it’s… a Danvers’ thing.”

They both smiled lightly at each other and then sat comfortably in silence as Alex finished doctoring Kara.

“I’m going to go through some supplies that I got from some Cadmus agents before we start moving again. If you want to go back to sleep that would be fine,” Alex said.

“I’ll keep you company. I’ve slept plenty.”

Alex started to rummaging through the ruck sack. She pulled each item out and held it up for Kara to see. The kryptonian made optimistic remarks on how each object could be used. It wasn’t anything that Alex hadn’t already thought of herself, but she liked to hear Kara speak after spending so long in silence.

When Alex’s pulled out the hand full of protein bars her stomach growled violently. She had been pretty good at ignoring her hunger, but with food in her hand the ache slammed into her full force. But Kara need to eat first. Alex unwrapped the bar and scooted over to her sister.

“I got food. Not very good food, but still food.”

Alex handed the bar over and then started to unwrap one for herself. Happily, she munched on the crunchy, though bland, snack. It was gone in about three bites. Alex looked up and saw that Kara hadn’t even gotten halfway through it yet.

“Kara you need to eat, you have to keep your energy up.”

“I’m just not hungry. And swallowing hurts,” she grumbled.

“I’ll get you some more water to help wash it down, but you have to eat it.” Alex took the two canteens and filled them in the river. When she returned she handed one over to Kara. Under her careful watch, Kara took small bites of the bar between swigs of water until it was all gone.

“Happy now?” Kara asked.

“As happy as I can be,” Alex answered.

She returned to searching through the supplies. Kara started off making comments like she had before, but as time went on she became less and less coherent.

“Where did the plane go?... remember when I lifted one… you were on it… that was the best night,” she babbled.

Alex let her go on until she wore herself out and quietly fell asleep. The conversation had been nice, but Alex hadn’t expected it to last or even start for that matter. Not with Kara’s fever and injuries the way they were.

Without the distraction of her sister, Alex finished quickly going through the supplies and repacking what they would keep. After tossing out what the extraneous stuff Alex was left with a knife, handgun, flashlight, two canteens, four more protein bars, some extra ammo, a radio, and a map. She also had two Kevlar vests, one of which she put on herself and the other she kept in the ruck sack. It might still come in handy, but she didn’t want to try and get it on Kara without her being lucid.

It was late morning when Alex finished putting everything back into the bag except the map and radio. They would need to start moving again to stay away from Cadmus, but she hoped she had a few minutes to spare. She turned on the radio and, after tinkering with the controls for a bit, was able to dial it to a channel monitored by the DEO. She sent out a ping and waited for a response. Minutes ticked by but she only got static noise in return. The signal wasn’t strong enough, they would need to get closer to some form of civilization or higher ground. That’s were the map would come in handy.

Alex unfolded the plasticy paper and laid it out on the ground. The only landmarks she recognized was an X mark that had the word “plane” by it and the river. Using that she could roughly guess where they were. Alex was disappointed to see that they seemed to be no where near the edge of the forest. She followed the course of the river with her finger until it ended in a lake. Along its shore, about a third of the way around from the river’s entrance, was a camp ground. Alex didn’t know if people would be there, but it was their best bet.

With a plan now in place, Alex was ready to get moving. She pulled on the backpack, lifted up Kara’s sled, and left their little sanctuary. It was hot under the noon day sun. The ravine had no shade to hide in. Alex was soaked through with sweat underneath her thick vest. Her sister suit was drenched with sweat, too. She was careful to rewet the fabric on Kara’s head every half an hour to keep her cool. At least Kara was getting plenty of sunlight. Her sister slept the whole time, though not restfully. Several times she started moaning and would fall into a fit of coughing or chills every often. But there wasn’t anything Alex could do. As the hours and miles wore on the cliff’s around them dropped into rolling hills. Alex tried the radio a couple more times, but had no success.

When the sun started to fade over the horizon, Alex felt like she was going to drop from exhaustion. Stopping for the whole night wasn’t an option with Cadmus on their tail, but she could at least take a quick nap.

In a small grove of trees, she lay Kara’s sled on the ground and then collapsed. She only needed an hour. Just an hour of sleep. And then she would be back on the road again. Holding tight to her rifle, Alex closed her eyes and fell asleep.

The familiar roar of helicopter blades ripped them open again. They were still distant, but loud enough to wake her up. Quickly Alex realized that she had not slept an hour. She had slept much longer. The darkness was complete—no moon light the sky. It was late, midnight or early morning. Alex chastened herself for sleeping so long. She had given up her lead. Alex slide her way out of the grove and scanned her surrounding for any dangers.

Flashing in the distance, just coming out of the ravine, were bright searching beams. Only a mile away.

Alex bolted back to the grove. She collected Kara and started walking again, at pace as fast as she could manage with the burden of the backpack and sled. There would be no more stopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm think this is going to have maybe 3 or 4 more chapter, but I'm just sort of rolling with this story so we'll see where it goes. If you have any ideas or suggestions I am very open to taking them. I love hearing from you, it makes me ridiculously happy. I'm so thankful for the those of you that comment on almost every chapter (You know who you are). You are the absolute best. Thanks so much for reading my crappy writing!!!!


	11. Chanting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So turns out I hate myself and keep spending time writing this instead of working on my papers. Bad news for me and good news for you.  
> Well anyway here's a good intense chapter for ya

Step. Step (wince). Drag. Step… Step(wince).  Drag.

Alex named each movement. A steady chant in her head. Keeping her going. Keeping her sane.

Step. Step. Drag.

Kara’s uneven breathing punctuated the rhythm. Anchoring Alex in reality. Yet pushing her forward, pulling against the sled behind her.

Step—stumble… Breathe. Step. Drag.

She turned. Lights still flash behind them. Farther back than before. Still too close.

She returned to her rhythm. Step (wince). Step. Drag.

The distant rumble of helicopter blades is the constant background baseline to Alex’s chant. She didn’t even realize the thundering had increased until it shook the branches above her head. She doce into a bush, heaving Kara’s sled behind her. It caught on roots, tossing Kara out of its grip. Abandoning it, Alex grabbed her sister underneath her arms and pulled her out of the open into the sparse covering of the bush. Kara cried out. Alex pulled her struggling sister into her lap and pressed her hand over her mouth, holding back any more sounds. With paralyzed lungs, Alex waited, watching as beams of light cast the shadow of leaves against Kara’s pale and sweaty skin. The beam lingered. Too long. Too long. She pulled the rifle off her back. Flicked the safety off.

The spotlight shifted and the roar faded back to the dull rumble. Alex didn’t move. She waited, expecting something (bad) to happen. But nothing does. Another cry from Kara, muffled by Alex’s hand and caught in her throat, drew Alex out of her trance. She removed her hand and it came off Kara’s skin covered in sweat. Kara’s body radiated heat against Alex’s. They hadn’t had time to stop and cool off by the river. Now they were near the lake, but its coasts were too open. It wasn’t safe. And Kara’s was suffering because of it. Alex suddenly stiffened. Kara hadn’t woken up. The helicopter had been louder than it had before, but her sister had only stirred when the moving got rough. Alex’s blood ran cold despite Kara’s heat.

“Kara? Hey can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?”

Kara lay limp across her lap. Unresponsive.

Alex was now frantic. “Come on Kara please! Wake up,” she begged.

Still nothing.

Wasting no more time, Alex lay Kara on the ground and tried to get the sled uncaught. The fabric that had held Kara had been ripped down the middle. Desperately she pulled at the metal pieces that held the fabric, but only ripped the hole wider. She didn’t have time for this. Cadmus was too close. Kara was running out of time.

She returned to her sister. As carefully as she could, she pulled the Kryptonian out of the bush, but Kara still whimper loudly during the whole process. Alex sat Kara up against a tree and then used that to leverage her until her back. Alex grunted as Kara’s rag doll weight settled on her back. Good thing the Girl of Steel didn’t weigh as much as steel because Alex could barely manage Kara’s average person weight.

Every step took momentous effort. She could barely lift her feet and had to drag them across the ground. Kara’s arms flopped listlessly in Alex’s face where they hung over her shoulders. Some of the wounds had reopened during all the movement and now Kara’s blood soaked Alex’s vest and shirt. Mixing with her sweat.

Almost there. Almost there. Almost there, Alex droned on to herself.

She really had no idea how much farther she had to go.

Fortunately, she had made lots of distance with the sled and only had a little less than a mile to the campground.

By the time Alex sighted the log cabins silhouetted against the faintly lit dusk sky, her vision swam with dark spots. Even in her exhausted state, she was thinking strategically. It wouldn’t be safe to take Kara into the campground without checking it out first. She stopped in a thick grove of trees. She let Kara’s slide off her back and although she tried to make it gentle her strength gave out. Kara fell to the ground in a heap. A weak moan tangled itself in Kara’s throat, but she still didn’t wake up.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Alex repeated over and over as she tried to make Kara more comfortable. Blood drenched the ground beneath her. Alex pressed more bandages against the cuts, but she didn’t have time to wait for the flow to stop.

Cadmus was coming.

Kara was dying.

She dropped the pack and pulled out the vest. Kara needed some form of protection if she was going to be alone. Alex shoved Kara’s arms into the vest and zipped it. Then she pulled out the handgun and placed it next to Kara’s hand. Now she wasn’t completely defenseless. Not that Kara would be able to wake up to defend herself. Between her incessant I’m sorry’s, Alex whispered, “I’ll be right back. I’m getting help. Just hold on.” After one last press against the seeping wounds, Alex lifted her exhausted body off the ground, grabbed the radio and rifle, and made for the campground.

It was small. Just a couple cabins stood in a small circle around a fire pit. There were no signs of people: no lights, no fire, no Cadmus. One cabin was larger than the others. It had to be some sort of Camp base. There must be something helpful there. Supplies. Communication. Anything.

The door was locked, but that wasn’t going to stop Alex. With her uninjured leg, she kicked at the door until the latch gave and it swung open. She stepped into what was basically a lounge. Couches and a fireplace dominated the room. Nothing useful. There was a door in the back. Alex limped over and entered the second room. It was a small office. The desk was empty, but maps hung on the wall. She quickly examined them. She almost burst in to tears when she saw how far they were from National City. There was almost a hundred miles between them. There was a dirt road, but it would be too dangerous to take it with Cadmus searching for them. She would need another plan. Quickly, she ransacked the office, but still found nothing. Not a phone. Not any medicine. Nothing. If she ever got out of this mess she swore to herself, she would find the owner of this place and rip them a new one for being so utterly useless.

Alex stomped (painfully) out of the building. Then a thought came to her. There might be nothing useful in the building, but she could use the cabin itself. She walked around the building until she found what she was looking for. On the back wall was a wood box. It would normally be used to hold equipment, but for Alex it would be a stepping stool. She climbed onto it and then pulled herself up onto the roof. Carefully, she shuffled to the highest point.

Alex slung the rifle across the back and took out the radio, turned it on, and started to send a ping to the DEO again. Maybe the height would help. She broadcasted the signal and waited. There was only static. Static. Static. And then—

A blast of pain reverberated through her right shoulder and then down the rest of her body. The echo of a gunshot mingled with her scream. The radio fell from her hands and she collapsed, curling in on herself. Her hands pressed against the spreading crimson in her shoulder. She was tumbling and before she even realized what was happening she was already in open air. Her side took the full of the impact, the rifle pressed painfully against her back. The collision with the ground knocked all the air out of her. She was sprawled out, unable to move against the fear and shock.

A second gunshot slammed into Alex’s ears. But not into her body. She looked over and saw a Cadmus agent standing over the remains of the radio.

Rough hands pulled her hands together. She cried out at the movement of her arm, but two other Agents bound her hands with zip ties anyway. Then they grabbed her under the arms and started dragging her towards one of the smaller cabins. She tried to struggle, but the last of her energy now seeped out of her along with the blood from her shoulder.

With the thudding rhythm of the Cadmus boots, a new and final chant entered Alex’s mind.

Kara. Kara. Kara. Kara. Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? The story is starting to wind down and the tension is mounting. I think I have the last few chapters plotted how I want them, but I haven't nailed down exactly how I want it to end so if you have any ideas or suggestions please tell me! Also any critics of the actually writing of my pieces is always super helpful. As a baby creative writing major I'm always looking for constructive criticism for my writing.   
> What did you guys think of Ace Reporter? It was good wasn't it? If they rest of the season has episodes as good as that I might feel a little better about this season, but I don't want to get my hopes up. 
> 
> Thanks for reading you're the best!!!


	12. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait and the short length. Not my best chapter, but it will have to do. Hopefully you will still enjoy it.

Can’t breath. Gasping. Sucking. Begging.

Air.

Kara needed air.

Her back arched against the ground.

Air. Air. Air.

She wasn’t getting enough. Something was squeezing her chest. Tight. Too Tight.

She clawed at the ground and heaved herself up against a tree. She scratched at her throat and chest trying to easy air into her lungs. Her fingers brushed up against unfamiliar fabric. She pulled at it, hoping to relieve the pressure. With shaking hands, she found and ripped off Velcro and unzipped a zipper. Once undone, the squeezing stopped and Kara drew in as much air as she could. She leaned limp against the tree, sweat dripping down her face and wetting the bark. The pain of each breath was enough to push away some of the haze in her mind.

There was something wrong. Something missing. No comforting hand against her back. No hushed and calming words. Kara was alone.

Alex.

Where was Alex?

She lifted her head away from the bark and scanned her surroundings. Her vision danced, flicking in and out of focus. She was surrounded by trees. It was dark, but getting lighter. Early morning maybe. Next to her was Alex’s pack. No Alex.

A shine caught her eye. Next to her thigh was a handgun. Kara picked it up and bounced the weapon in her hand.

It must have been Alex’s. Why had she left it? Where had she gone? Did she need help?

Kara was going to find out.

On one leg, she stood using the tree as a crutch. Her body was heavy, vest weighed down her shoulders, making her sag to the ground. Kara slid nicely into a pocket on the vest. She couldn’t remember why she was wearing it, but she didn’t think she could get it off with her shoulder in the state it was in. She couldn’t even remember why she hurt so much. A breeze ghosted over her body, making her shiver in her soaked supersuit. She looked down at herself and saw the blood tainted the blue fabric. What had happened to her? Why was she injured and alone?

Alex would know. Alex would have all the answers.

Kara stumbled forward. She tried to use the scattered trees to support her, but sometimes she had to hold her own weight, pressing down on her braced leg, making her groan.

She wandered through the woods until she literally ran into a wall. She took a few wobbling steps back to get a better view of what appeared to be a cabin. Something cruntched under her foot and caused her to lose what little balance she had. She plopped onto her butt.  White hot rods of pain lashed against her broken ribs and leg. She clenched her jaw and squeezed her eyes shut until the sharp aches faded back to deep throbbing.

Kara opened her eyes and searched for what had caused her to fall. Near her feet were the remains of some destroyed piece of technology. She reached for one of the larger pieces and turned it over in her hand. It somehow looked familiar, but Kara couldn’t remember why. Her thoughts returned to Alex. Maybe she had lost it. Kara dropped the piece and tried to get back onto her feet, but at the moment she felt less coordinated than a sleepy toddler and the state of her leg wasn’t helping. She gave up trying to stand by herself and started to half crawl half drag herself back towards the cabin wall. As she dug her fingers into the dirt to pull herself forward, she felt something wet and sticky. She stopped and looked at her hand.

Lines of crimson oozed down her fingers and leaked into the creases in her palm. It was blood. But not warm. Not like what continued to spill from Kara. This wasn’t her blood.

Panic began to dance at the edges of Kara’s lucid thoughts. Whose blood was it? Who was hurt? Was it Alex’s? Was Alex okay? Where was Alex? Where was Alex? Where was Alex?

Kara scrambled the rest of the way to the wall and yanked herself up. Ignoring the pain, she clung to the cabin’s side and began her search again, pushed on by a single repeated thought:

Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again about the shortness. The next chapter should be longer and have more action. But it might take a while for me to update. This next week is the last week of classes before finals and I have so much studying and paper writing I have to do so it might take a while, but who knows it might not.  
> Let me know if you guys have any ideas or suggestions for the next few chapters. I have a somewhat plan, but I always take into consideration what you guys say and it helps me think of new ideas so please let me know.


	13. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That wasn't too long of a wait right? And this chapter isn't as short as the last too.  
> Enjoy!

“Wake up.”

Alex’s eyes cracked open and blinked against the light. She felt the pull of sleep and let herself sink back into darkness.

Her face whipped to the side. The sound of the slap reverberated around her before she even felt the sting on her cheek. She was wide awake now. Her eyes flashed around the empty cabin to find her attacker, quickly landing on the soldier standing in front of where she was sitting. He was dressed in the all black Cadmus tactical attire and standing at attention with only a smug look on his face to break the statue like appearance.

“I said wake up,” he grunted.

Alex glared up at him. She tried to stand to confront him, but something held her back. Her arms where zip tied behind her back and her ankles were zip tied to the legs of the wood chair beneath her. It creaked as she pulled against the bounds. Her right arm throbbed with every movement.

“You’re going to rip the stiches if you keep struggling like that and I’m not going to fix you up again if you do.”

Alex froze. She looked down at herself. Her Kevlar vest was gone and where her sleeve had been now bloody gauze was in its place. Why had Cadmus helped her? “What do you want?” she growled.

“Luthor wants you to answer some questions. She prefers that you don’t die—she has no qualms with humans even if they are alien sympathizers, but I’ve been given the go ahead to use force if you don’t give us what we need.” He paused to let that sink in.

The situation was precarious. Alex knew that Cadmus wanted her sister, probably dead or alive. She had to convince them that the search was pointless or they would find Kara. But even if she was successful, Alex still needed to find a way to escape without leading them back to Kara. The Kryptonian wasn’t going to last the day alone. Time was running out.

“Where is Supergirl?” the soldier asked.

Alex swallowed and decided to implement a hastily crafted plan.

“She’s dead. You killed her.”

He erupted into movement: leaning towards her, his face inches from hers, and a hand pushing against the shoulder of her chair making it lean back. Alex stiffened, ready to fall or to be hit.

“Then where is the body?” he barked. “We searched the entire wreck and all we found was your little shelter.”

She had to think of an excuse. Something. Anything.

“Wolves,” she burst out. His eye brows furrowed in confusion. “I pulled her body out of the crater, but wolves got to her. I tried to stop them—you can see the bites on my arm and leg—but they took her.”

He set her chair back to the ground and stepped back. “Where is all the supplies you stole then?”

“I lost it while running here.”

He looked at her intently, not speaking for a long time. Then he smirked. “We found the tracks of your makeshift sled. We followed them until we found where you had abandoned it. It was perfect size to carry a body. But you’re saying wolves got to Supergirl back at the wreck. Can you see how I’m struggling to believe your story right?”

Alex schooled her facial expressions to hide her panic. “I used it to carry the supplies.”

He slammed his fist into her wounded shoulder and shouted, “You’re lying! Tell me where Supergirl is.”

Alex bite back a scream. She could barely catch a breath let alone speak. She doubled over in the chair, fighting against the pain rolling off her shoulder. He didn’t wait for her to recover. He grabbed her shoulder and pressed his thumb against the bullet wound. This time Alex couldn’t stop the shrieks from escaping. She tried to thrash against him, but he just squeezed tighter. Her vision was beginning to get blurry and black, but he finally loosened his grip, though not letting go completely.

Alex’s head fell towards her chest and she panted hard. She could get through this. She had to. Kara was relying on her. She needed to get away from this soldier and back to her sister.

“Where is the alien? You don’t need to suffer for that thing. No one in the DEO will even have to know. This can end when you tell me.”

Alex swallowed hard and looked up at him. She almost flinched at the sight of his face. Normal, so normal looking. And yet a vicious xenophobe and killer. She would have to use that moral corruption to her advantage.

“I hid her,” she confessed.

He let go of her shoulder. “Where?”

“North. Near the road.”

He stood straight and turned his back to her. She heard him report the information over a radio and several static-y voices responded back.

“When we find the alien, we’ll bring you back to National City. If we don’t find it then I’ll be back to ask you some more questions, and I won’t be nearly as nice,” he said as he left the cabin, slamming the door behind him.

Now was Alex’s chance.

She reached down with her mouth and caught the collar of her shirt. She pulled in as much of the fabric as she could until she had something dense to bite into, then took a deep breath through her nose. The DEO had taught her how to escape all forms of restraints and that included zip ties. She flexed her arms—ignoring the pain from her shoulder and wrists. With several quick up and down movements she put enough tension on the ties that when she slammed then down against her back they snapped open. She groaned into the shirt fabric in her mouth. Her right arm hung lip at her side, useless. She closed her eyes against the dizziness that pulsed through her along the throbbing waves from her shoulder.

She didn’t have time to waste recovering. The soldier could come back any minute. Kara was still in danger. She let the shirt go from her mouth and got back to work. Reaching down with her good arm, Alex picked up the remains of the broken zip tie. One at a time she pushed one of the sharp ends into the tabs on the zip ties on her legs, causing them to unzip. She was free. At least from the restraints. Now she needed to get out of the cabin and back to Kara without being caught.

She searched around the cabin turned jail cell for anything useful, but the Cadmus soldiers had left nothing behind. So she was weaponless. Great.

There was only one door out of the cabin. They stupid soldier had left it unlocked. She cracked it open and peeked around the edge, looking for any signs of enemies. Near a cabin on the opposite side of the fire pit were two soldiers sitting at a small table where they were scanning over computer screens and listening to different reports with headphones on. Alex saw where their wires connected to an antenna they had set up on the roof.

If she could get them away, she could use their set up to send a message to the DEO. It definitely would be big enough. But she would risk getting caught. And every second spent away from Kara, Alex could feel her anxiety building. Her sister wasn’t going to last much longer. Especially if she was caught by Cadmus. Kara might have already slipped away by the time Alex got the soldiers cleared away and figured out how to work the technology. Alex’s decision was clear. She would go back to Kara and find another way to signal the DEO. Kara was priority. Alex would rather die out here than go home with her sister dead.  

But first, she still needed to get out of the cabin. It was too risky to go out the front door. Thankfully, on the back wall was a single window. She began working at opening it. There was no screen so all she had to do was lift the latch and move the pane. She hissed silently when the glass squeaked when she moved it. No one arrived to check on the noise, so it must have gone unheard. It was painful to pull herself over the ledge, but her left arm had enough strength to manage most of the work. She tumbled out onto the ground, careful to roll onto her good shoulder not her bad one.

Darting back, she pressed herself into the shadows of the cabin wall. She waited to hear any nearby sounds. Only the quite murmuring of the radio station guards.

She had hidden Kara South of the campsite. Alex would have to get around a fourth of the campsite to get to her. No one was looking for her, so that meant she could hide easily in the early morning shadows around the cabins and go the most direct route back to Kara.

Alex slid from shadow to shadow, becoming a shadow herself. She let the echoing chant of her sister’s name fill her thoughts again urging her forward faster and faster. It pushed out all other thoughts, encompassing her consciousness. She arrived at the last cabin on her path back to the hiding spot. She prepared to enter the woods again by planning out the best trail from tree to tree to move unseen.

As she took the first step away from the cabin wall something heavy slammed into her back and threw her to the ground. The weight landed on top of her, knocking the air from her lungs and reigniting the painful fire in her shoulder, but then lifted off her quickly.

“You really thought I believed your lies. You’re an alien-scum loving race traitor AND an idiot.”

Alex rolled onto her back, still gasping for air, and looked up to see her Cadmus interrogator standing over her.

“Now you’ve showed me where to really look for Supergirl. Luthor will finally have her play thing to do as many experiments with as she wants.” He paused and squatted down next to her. “How about a deal? You give me a little kiss and I’ll kill Supergirl when I find her instead of letting Luthor dissect her until she dies a slow painful death. How about that?”

Rage roared through Alex, overpowering all feeling of the pain. “Go to Hell,” she grunted as she punched him with her left hand—not as powerful as her right, but enough to knock him on his butt.

“You b—“

Alex interrupted him with a kick to the chest.

She scrambled to her feet trying to keep her slight advantage. She threw another punch at the rising form of her attacker, but he caught her arm and pushed her away. Alex stumbled back, but turned quickly to continue the fight.

And froze at the sight of the gun aimed at her chest.

“Now Supergirl won’t get any mercy from me. And you won’t either.”

Alex heard the click of the trigger.

She waited for the bullet to rip into her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliff hangers are my best friend.  
> I still have a lot of finals to study for and papers to write so when the next chapter gets posted depends on my motivation levels (which will probably vary due to the brain frying nature of finals week). Comments always help motivate me though. The fact that I have been very quick with a lot of updates is very much due to the few people that comment all the time so shout out to you, you are the best!  
> 


	14. Running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait. I wrote this chapter sporadically over the last week so it might not be the most coherent and cohesive but eh it'll have to do. Hopefully you still enjoy!

The gun shot cracked the air.

 

Alex gasped.

 

The soldier grunted.

 

A spray of blood speckled the cabin wall behind him.

 

He collapsed.

Alex stood in shock, not understanding how the gun held loosely in the fallen soldier’s hand had not killed her. Had it backfired? No. The weeping hole in his neck proved that wrong. Did his gun even discharge? How was she alive?

A high pitch whine behind her broke her train of thought. Alex turned to find the source of the sound.

Standing several yards away, tremors wracking her body, and a gun wobbling in her shaking hands still aimed at the soldier… was Kara. Alex bolted to her as tears began to cascade down the blonde’s face.

“I-I didn’t m-mean too… I… h-he was going to… and now… k-k-killed him,” Kara sputtered.

Alex eased the gun away from her as she tried to console her, whispering, “It’s okay. You saved me. It’s okay.”

But Kara didn’t stop crying. They didn’t have time for her to recover. They needed to run. That gunshot was loud enough to alert all the Cadmus agents in the area.

Kara wobbled on her feet and collapsed into Alex. With only her left arm working, Alex could barely keep Kara upright. The shaking and sobbing grew more violent and Alex was worried that Kara’s damaged lungs couldn’t handle the stress. But she couldn’t do anything to help it now. Cadmus was coming.

Alex lugged Kara over to the nearest cabin and propped her up against the wall, but Kara just slid down into a quaking heap.

Alex resituated her quick. “Wait here, I’ll be right back,” she whispered.

She gripped Kara’s gun. The soldiers with the radios where the closest. They would be there any minute. If she could take them out, then they would have a much higher chance of getting away. Alex against the wall of the cabin.

Footsteps moved towards her. They crunch on the ground like he was trying to step quietly, but his boots are heavy and he is anything but light on his toes.

Closer. Closer.

Until the tiniest tip of his gun appeared around the edge. Before he could whip around the corner of the building, Alex grabbed the gun and pulled him forward. Surprised, he stumbled fully into her view. She took the gun in her hand and smashed the handle into his temple. His eyes rolled to the back of his head. He toppled over.

Idiot.

One down. One to go.

Alex scrambled to rip away his supplies. She put on his vest despite the protest in her shoulder. She had the supplies she needed again: radio, water, knife, ammo… No need to go back and pick up her old stuff. They would just have to do without the left-over parachute fabric. But it was still worth it. Cadmus would be swarming soon, and she wanted to be as far from the lake and the campsite as she could.

Alex leaned out around the corner of the cabin, searching for the second soldier. The camp ground appeared empty. She moved forward to get a better look. The table where the soldiers had sat was empty. But she knew the other was somewhere. Coming for them. Alex lingered another minute letting herself get a wide view of her surroundings, not focusing on anything, waiting for any movement to catch her eye. Nothing.

This was a waste of time. She had to go now. Get Kara away before he found them. Before Cadmus found them.

Alex hurried back to the crumpled form of her sister. The rasping of her sobs hadn’t died down, and she still shallowly gulped down air. Alex tugged Kara’s burned left arm over her shoulder, wincing when the weight rested against the gunshot wound. But ignoring it for Kara’s sake. Her sister’s body dragged her down, trembling and limply draped against her.

“Kara, I can’t do this myself. I need you to help me just a little bit,” Alex huffed.

Kara didn’t respond, but her sobs faltered into sniffling.

Alex shuffled forward and sighed in relief when Kara took a few staggering steps with her.

They moved slow. But they needed to move faster. Cadmus was coming. They needed to get away. Faster. Faster. Please faster.

Halfway out of the clearing Kara froze.

“Alex,” she wheezed.

Alex was shocked that Kara was lucid enough to speak, but she was focused on getting out of sight. “We’ve got to move Kara.” She tried to take a step forward, but Kara’s weight anchored her to the spot.

“Alex… look,” she breathed out, an urgent edge to her voice.

“Kara please,” Alex begged just as urgently.

“Alex!” Kara shouted. She dropped her weight, yanking Alex down on top of her.

Kara’s cry of pain harmonized with the blast of a gun. Alex felt the bullet brush over her head. Her instincts kicked in immediately. Twisting until she was aiming the hand gun at the origin of the sound before she even saw the soldier. She fired off three bullets before he has the chance to shoot again. One to the leg and two to the abdomen. He fell down dead.

The danger was gone for at least a moment.

Kara groaned, still beneath her.

“Oh Kara I’m sorry,” Alex said rolling off her.

With the weight off her chest, Kara curled in on herself to fight the pain burning in her abdomen. “Y-you o-kay?... hit yo-ou?” she asked through clenched teeth.

“I’m okay, you saved me again Supergirl,” Alex said as she searching for any damage, but found nothing. It’s all internal. She couldn’t fix it. Couldn’t do anything to help take the pain away. But she could get her to safety.

“Kara we have got to move. Hold onto me and we’ll get you up.”

Weakly, Kara reached up to Alex and wrapped her arms around her neck. Alex stood, lifting Kara to her feet but she immediately slumped against her sister. No strength left in her. Alex would have to muster enough for the both of them.

She moved into the trees. Kara dragged along behind her, only every once in a while able to find her feet beneath her and support herself. On and on they moved. Alex paced herself with Kara’s breathing; every step coinciding with a wheeze. In. Step. Out. Step. In. Step. Out. Step. That was all she had. She couldn’t do anything else. Just following the unsteady rhythm of Kara’s breathing like a sermon and implanting that beat into her feet. Keeping her going. Moving forward. Somehow.

As they got further and further away from the campsite, from Cadmus, the trees grew denser. The ground rougher. Uneven. Alex pulled Kara over roots and logs. The shadows of the trees grew longer—Alex’s only indication that time was passing and the day was ending—and it became harder to see. But she could get past all of it. Nothing was going to stop her. Nothing.

Her foot caught the edge of a root, toppling her into a thicket and bringing Kara down with her.

Sprawled out on the forest floor, both sisters groaned in pain. Kara lay half on top of Alex. She could feel the feeble expansion of the Kryptonian’s lungs against her back. Alex pushed herself half off the ground, rolling Kara on to her own back. With the pressure off her chest, Kara’s breathing sounded a little better. Alex waited to see if she would wake up, but her eyes remained closed and the groaning died down to occasional whimpers. At least she was getting some form of rest. Then Alex’s arms gave out under her own weight. Her face flopped back to the ground. The dirt and leaves below her felt like the best mattress in the world. Alex knew she needed rest too. The palpitating knife of anxiety that screamed “Cadmus is coming” with every stab to her brain dulled its edge against her exhaustion. She needed to sleep. Just for a little bit. She swiveled her head. The undergrowth covered them enough and the growing darkness would only help keep them hidden. They could stay there—not that her body was giving her much of a choice.

Alex closed her eyes. She reached out to Kara and snuggled against her. She was burning up again, but the warmth only pushed Alex closer to unconsciousness. She would fix it when she woke up, she told herself.

Everything would be better when she woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? How do you think Alex and Kara are going to get out of this mess? Any ideas or suggestions? Any ways my writing can be better?  
> So I'm all done with finals (wooooo) but now I'm going through the process of packing and moving back home the next update probably won't be up until at least this weekend. But there's much of a cliff hanger this time so you guys won't have to suffer as badly.


	15. Seizure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry for the delay. I finally got all packed and moved home and then my dad put me to work immediately on helping fix our roof (because apparently being part of my family means you have to be a construction worker). But I managed to get this chapter done anyways and I really like it so enjoy!

The entire world was shaking.

The violent earthquakes expelled Alex from her dead sleep.

No. It wasn’t the whole world. Just a part of it. But as she came to her senses, she realized how big a part it was.

“Kara!”

Through bleary eyes, Alex saw her sister convulsing in the dim light from the moon. The Kryptonian’s body bucked and strained, foamed salvia bubbled between her lips, and her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

New strength flooded through Alex’s drained muscles and she tilted Kara onto her side, trying to loosely contain the most violent of thrashing. She couldn’t do anything else. There was no medicine. No equipment. Nothing to help. She couldn’t even hold onto to her too tight or Kara might hurt herself. So she braced against her sister’s back, the tremors echoing through her own body, and waited for the seizure to end. But every spasm stretched the seconds. How long had it been? A couple seconds? A minute? An hour? Alex couldn’t tell. It felt like years had passed when the convulsions slowed to a halt and the only movement Alex could feel in Kara’s tense body was the slight rise in her chest between disconnected breaths.

Alex lay Kara onto her back. She wiped the spittle from Kara’s lips and cheek and then cupped her cheeks. Even in the dim light Alex could see the fear swimming through her half-lidded blue eyes. Kara tried to speak, but all that came out was a dry croak.

“It’s okay, calm down. You had a seizure, but it passed. You’re okay,” Alex said trying to make her voice as soothing as possible. Nothing was okay and she didn’t know if it every would be, but Kara didn’t need to know that. Didn’t need to worry. That was Alex’s job.

Some of the fear leaked away from Kara’s eyes although the tension in her body remained. With her sister somewhat settled, Alex noticed how the skin beneath her fingers burned. The fever was back in full force. It had been the cause of the seizure. One hand letting go of Kara, Alex dug into the soldier’s pack for his canteen. She groaned in frustration when she felt the lukewarm temperature of the water. It wouldn’t do any good in cooling Kara down. Still, hydrating would help some. Lifting Kara’s head, she held the canteen to her lips.

“Drink,” she urged.

Kara sluggishly sucked down the liquid. When she was done, her eyes slid closed, falling into a faint rest.  Alex drank some of the water, too, but was careful to ration it. They didn’t have anywhere to fill up anymore. She replaced the canteen in the pack. Her stomach growled and she dug through the pack, searching for one of the protein bars she had found in the other soldier’s supplies, but there were none. That wasn’t good. Humans can survive a while without food, but Kryptonians can’t. And with how much Alex had been exerting herself she really needed the calories. Her body felt hollow, not light, but empty. Like her muscles had shriveled and all that was left was feeble bones.

After scanning their surrounding and finding no signs of Cadmus, Alex collapsed next to Kara and let herself drift off to sleep again.

She had only been out for a few minutes when a whimper brought her back again. When only the ambient sounds of bugs and trees followed, Alex thought she had imagined it, but before she could fall asleep again the sound repeated, louder this time.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, turning towards her sister.

No response except another gasp.

Alex pulled Kara into her lap and began rubbing soothing circles along her arms. She felt the strain throughout Kara’s body, the tight tendons on her neck, the clench in her jaw. Alex didn’t know whether Kara was in pain (at least more pain than what she had before) or if she was having nightmares. Or both. She knew that Kara would be traumatized by this whole experience especially killing the soldier. Who knows what’s going on in her head? The fever would just make it worse. Fear. Anxiety. Guilt. It all burned through Alex just as it did her sister.

Kara’s pained moans didn’t stop even with Alex’s tactile presence. But Alex kept the motions up. She would float into faint unconsciousness, her fingers still moving up and down and up and down, until a whimper pulled her back like gravity. Then she would slowly drift off again. A closed cycle of restlessness.

When the cycle breaks Alex almost didn’t notice. She was drifting again, but for longer this time. Something yanked at her consciousness. The lack of symmetry, the break in repetition, a change to the status quo. Something was off. She focused on the sensation beneath her circling fingers. The skin and tissues that had been tense were now limp. That was something but not _the_ something. Not what had broken the cycle. Her thoughts raced wildly trying to pin point what was wrong. They seemed to bounce around like atoms in the thick silence surrounding her.

Wait.

That was the something.

Kara had gone silent.

Alex slipped out from beneath her and instead knelt next to her.

“Kara?” she pleaded wordlessly for any response, but Kara didn’t so much as twitch.

Limp.

Silent.

With shaking hand, Alex held her fingers against Kara’s neck, searching for a pulse. The wailing panic blazing under Alex’s skin grew with each second longer than usual it took to locate the heartbeat. When she feels a slight flutter pulse under her fingerprint the blaze is dulled, but didn’t go out.

Kara was alive.

Her heart was beating. Too slow and weak, but still beating.

But not much longer if something didn’t change.

But Alex was frozen.

What should she do? What could she do?

The blaze rekindled. But it pushed her into action.

Alex ripped out the radio from the pack. Maybe she could get out a signal. She had been so close back at the campsite, she had even thought that maybe someone was responding, but the soldier had destroyed the other radio before she could get an answer. But that didn’t matter. She still had to try.

Alex leapt between checking on Kara and sending a new ping towards the DEO. She tried to clean her wounds with the little supplies she had, but almost every one was red and swollen with infection. The most concerning was the stab wound in her side where the kryptonite shard had been. Laced out like vines along her side, where faintly green veins. Kryptonite poisoning. Alex pinged a little more desperately after that.

Still no reply.

Suddenly anger replaced the panic under her skin. It had been almost four days and she hadn’t heard or seen anything from the DEO. Why hadn’t they found them yet? Weren’t they a high-tech government agency? Couldn’t they locate two lost agents? Why were they going to let Kara die?

Kara was going to die.

The thought blasted it way through all the walls and fences of rational thought and things she wouldn’t let herself think. Leaving everything desolate.

Nothing left but that little phrase.

She knew it. She didn’t want to know it. Hated herself for knowing it.

But that didn’t change that her sister was dying right next to her and there was nothing she could do.

Alex stopped pinging.

What was the point?

The DEO wasn’t coming.

They hadn’t been able to find them.

She just clasped her arms around Kara.

Letting Kara’s raspy breathing harmonize with the repeating phrase in her head.

She’s going to die. She’s going to die. She’s going to die.

She didn’t even hear the helicopter until it was right on top of her.

Cadmus had found them.

The blades sent a furious wind, making the trees shake and both sister’s hair fly in their faces. A spot light directed right at them, blinded Alex.

It was too late to try and run. Not with Kara at least. They wouldn’t make it even a couple yards.

Alex’s thoughts flashed back to a conversation with Kara. Kara had asked her to run. To leave her. If she was going to do it, now would be the moment. She would stand a chance of escape if she left Kara behind. Maybe even get to the road and make it back to civilization.

But she had interrupted Kara’s plea for a reason.

Alex would never leave Kara behind.

Just like she had decided before, they would make it out alive together or die together. Or get captured together.

But they would not be separated.

Alex picked out the gun from their supplies and waited for the soldiers to descend. Ready to fight off an army.

A single form, large and silhouetted by the helicopter’s beam, landed heavily on the ground. Directly in front of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Did you like it as much as I did? What do you think the figure at the end is? What do you think is going to happen? Any critics on my writing? Any other random thoughts you just want to share? let me know
> 
> So like I said above, I'm pretty busy being building a new roof and I started my summer job today and I work everyday this week so I don't know when I'll have time to write, but I know I left you guys hanging so I'll try my best to get the next chapter up as soon as I can.


	16. Rescuers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait again but it's going to be like this for the rest of ever so you'll have to learn to deal with it.

“Don’t come any closer,” Alex shouted. She pointed her gun at the dark figure with one hand, still gripping Kara’s limp form with the other.

The figure took a step forward, undeterred by the weapon. “Put the gun down, Agent Danvers,” he said with a deep voice. A familiar voice.

Alex’s aim faltered an inch. “J’onn?”

He took another step. The lights from the helicopter whirling above them illuminated his back. Reflecting against metal on skin. A spark of blue light ignited in one eye.

“Not quite.”

Without a second of thought, Alex unloaded her clip of bullets at him, aiming at the glowing eye. But she knew it was futile.

A simple gun wouldn’t stop Cyborg Superman.

He didn’t even flinch. The bullets did nothing. And now Alex was out of ammo and out of chances.

Henshaw dashed forward, snagging her by the throat and lifting her into the air. The gun and her sister slipped from her fingers and toppled to the ground. She choked for air and clawed at his hand, but his grip was like iron. He chuckled with a sneer. Then Alex was flying, falling, smashing into a nearby tree. She slammed against the bark and slid down to the dirt below. The collisions hammered out what little air was left in her. She was left straining against uncooperative lungs. But she had to be ready for the next strike, had to fight for Kara.

Henshaw was moving. But not towards her.

He hoisted Kara up over his shoulder like she was a bag of flour, completely disregarding her injuries. And then he turned away, walking to the helicopter as it landed in a clearing a few yards away.

“No,” Alex croaked. She drew from her last stores of strength and picked herself off the ground.

She sprinted to him and dove at his legs. But he was an unmovable statue. He kicked at her chest, launching her away from his legs. She flew back onto the ground, but rose right away. No thought of the pain flooding her body. She ran at him again.

He sighed and dropped Kara on the ground, turning to face Alex. She threw a punch at the skinned side of his face, but he caught her arm and pushed her back to the ground.

“Don’t make this difficult Danvers,” he growled.

He let go and started to turn away. But Alex wasn’t going to quit. She threw another punch. This time he let it land. Alex screamed as her fist broke against metal beneath his skin. He just smirked and crashed his own fist into her cheek.

She collapsed, the hit vibrating up and down her skeleton. She tried to rise again, but everything was spinning and she was going to be sick. She dropped her head back to the ground, tensing for the next attack. She was defenseless.

But Henshaw picked up Kara’s body and turned to walk away.

“Wait,” Alex wheezed, “What about me?”

Henshaw actually laughed, gritty and rough. “What about you? We only want the alien and you’ve been more than a hindrance to our plans. So we’ll leave you out here where you can die without bothering us.”

Without another word, he jogged to the landed helicopter, taking Kara with him.

“No,” she groaned, but her body wasn’t working. The hollowness in her limbs was back and spreading. Her chest felt empty. Her head like a popped balloon. Her cheek had swollen so much she could barely see out of her left eye.

She felt the wind pick up as the helicopter took off, trees swaying precariously against the onslaught. As the thudding of the blades got fainter and the forest settled, tears leaked from her eyes.

She had failed.

Kara was gone.

Alex couldn’t protect her.

Now she was going to be Lillian’s science experiment.

Hurt. 

Tortured.

Worse.

And Alex couldn’t do anything but lay there.

There wasn’t even a way for her to rescue Kara. She knew the helicopter had started flying East, but had no idea where it was going and had no way of following. She couldn’t even move, let alone walk for what could be hundreds of miles. And the DEO wasn’t coming. Alex had no plan, no optimism, no hope.

So she was stuck, sprawled on the ground. The guilt piled on top of her making it harder to breathe, harder to be. A part of her begged it to squeeze the life out of her. She was going to die anyway.

Eventually the exhaustion took over and she passed out alone on the forest floor.

* * *

“Alex wake up.”

The world was shaking again. No, more like rocking. Back and forth and back and she didn’t want to wake up. She just wanted to sleep.

The shaking grew stronger. She felt hands on her shoulders.

“Kara?” she mumbled trying to cracking up her eyes. Had it all been a bad dream? Was her sister not gone? Was the nightmare over?

Her left eye wouldn’t open but with her right she saw a dark figure leaning over her.

“You change your mind Henshaw? Come back to kill me yourself?” she grumbled.

“No, it’s J’onn.”

Alex sat up abruptly, finally seeing the green skin and Martian features. He gently pushed her back to the ground.

“You need to relax or you’ll hurt yourself more. Where is Kara?”

Alex tensed. She didn’t want him to know that she had failed. That she had lost Kara. That he had lost another daughter.

But he deserved to know.

“They took her. Cadmus. She’s gone. It’s my fault.”

His grip on her arm tightened slightly, but she couldn’t see any disappointment on his face.

“Alex, I can see what you’ve done to protect Kara. This isn’t your fault.”

Alex started to protest but he held up his hand to silence her and continued speaking. “It's not that easy to hide the truth from a mindreader. She would have never made it this far without you. And we can still save her. A team from the DEO is on their way. When they get here to medivac you out, I’ll go after her. I should be able to pick up their trail if I go in the direction you saw them leave."

“We can’t wait that long. She was so close to… She doesn’t have much time left especially in Henshaw and Lillian’s hands. You need to go now. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not going to leave you here alone.”

“Then take me with you. Kara’s counting on us. We have to go now.”

J’onn paused for a moment, debating within himself, thinking through all the options.

“You let me do the fighting,” he finally said.

“Of course,” she answered but she knew that he was reading her thoughts. There was no way she would stay out of the fight to get back her sister.

But J’onn didn’t have much choice.

He put a hand to his ear and peeled out a list of commands to the agents listening through the comms.

Then he offered Alex his hand, and helped pull her to her feet. She was unsteady, but she could feel the shakiness leaking away. Pushed away by readiness. Ready to fight. Ready to get her sister back. Ready to bring her home.

She put an arm over J’onn’s shoulder and felt as his arm came around her back and his hand gripped her side.

“Let’s go rescue our Kryptonian,” he said before launching them both into the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to much of a cliff hanger this time but be warned more are coming. Are as excited about the introduction of the Space Fam to this story as I am? What did you think of that plot twist? Pretty good right? Did you expect it at all? Anything you want to see happen in the next chapters (besides the Danver's sister getting home and healing because this story still has a bit left in it before I consider writing something like that)? Any suggestions for my writing? Let me know please. Or just talk to me I love to here from you guys. It really makes my day worth it
> 
> Anyways I'm working full time which is killing me and I am still trying to rebuild a roof and its been raining so now we have water damage to deal with and I have tons of paperwork for school and other stuff I have to get done so I don't have much time for writing so the next chapter will probably be short but I at least have it somewhat planned so hopefully it won't be too much of a wait.


	17. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again sorry for the delay but I'm living in a constant state of working and exhaustion and writing takes so much energy. And also sorry for the shortness and uneditedness of the chapter but I this is all I could muster at the moment   
> So FYI I love that the show has included Martian Manhunter but they are really downplaying his powers like he is almost as overpowered as kryptonians but they make him out to be much weaker. But in my story he is going to have all his powers because J'onn is so cool and deserves to have all of his abilities so just as a warning if you see something here that he can't do on the show its one of his powers from the comics

The wind roared in Alex’s ears. The strain to look ahead was too much on her exhausted neck muscles and she was forced to hang her head downwards. Trees, rocks, hills all rushed past her eyes. Blurring together from the speed and tears expelled by the wind. They were flying fast. Not as fast as Kara could, but still enough to make her nauseous. Her body had had enough. She had had enough. Too much noise. Too much movement. She had taken too many knocks to the head for this kind of thing. She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed silently that J’onn would be able to pick up Cadmus’s trail soon.

She refused to let herself linger on what would happen if he didn’t. They couldn’t let Cadmus slip through their fingers. Not like they did with her dad. That couldn’t happen to Kara. Her thoughts drifted to her dad’s new metal arm, how he wasn’t the same, Cadmus changed him. And he was a human. What would they do to an alien? What would they do to Kara? If Lillian got to her would there be anything left of her sister to save? Alex and Eliza had done some research on Kryptonian biology though nothing invasive, But she knew Lillian would have no qualms with dissecting Kara like she wasn’t a living person. Alex couldn’t let that happen.

But what would that determination do? She had been determined to keep Kara away from Cadmus in the first place and had failed. She always worked so hard to keep Kara out of a situation like this, but look where that got them. Alex couldn’t protect Kara. Kara was lost because of her. What must she think of her? Of her failure to be the protecting sister she should be? What about J’onn? How could he even stand to be around her? He should have just left her back in woods to die. He could save Kara without her. She should convince him to leave her. She didn’t deserve to be saved. This whole thing was her fault. Her fault. Her fault.

_Alex calm down._

The words in her head made her jolt. She had forget that she was flying with a mindreader. 

_J’onn?_

_You’re thinking too_ _erratically, I can’t focus. Just try and relax while I search._

She felt herself deflate even more, but she silenced her thoughts as best she could. She may be the reason Kara was gone, but she wouldn’t be the cause of their failure to find her. J’onn’s grip on her tightened. But not painfully. The warmth of his embrace was gentle and comforting. Not that she deserved any comfort.

_It’s not your fault Alex. You do deserve to be saved and don’t even think that you don’t. I don’t blame you and your sister never could either. From what I can see in your memories you did everything you could and more to keep her safe. If anything, it’s my fault. We found the plane wreck two days after Kara disappeared but all we found were Cadmus agents. We got your ping, but by the time we got to the campground you weren’t there either. It was only by following Cadmus that I found you. If I had been faster, better, I could have gotten to you sooner before you got hurt, before she was taken. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this, but this isn't your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself._

Alex eased a little in his grip, exhausted. Physically. And emotionally.  _I don't know if I can J'onn. It's my job to keep her save and now she's gone. How can I not blame myself?_

_She felt more than heard him sigh._ _I felt the same way about my daughters. And I know Kara feels similarly about her parents and anyone that she can’t save as Supergirl. It’s not a guilt that you can just easily cast off. But your sister has taught me that you can’t let it consume you. You have to live. You have to keep going. It will take time for this wound to heal but right now we need to focus on saving Kara. We can help her and then she can help you just like she helped me. Can you do that?_

Alex paused, mulling over her emotions trying to fit them with J’onn’s words. Her guilt could wait. Kara needed her full attention. No distractions. _Yes,_ she thought as firmly as she could.

She opened her eyes and gazed forward, pushing through the pain. They would find the helicopter. They would find Cadmus. They would find Kara. And then they would save her.

J’onn’s deep rumble enter her thoughts once more.  _I’m sensing something ahead_.

They were getting closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have now come to the beginning of the end (or at least I think. I might pull more plot out of somewhere who knows?) But I am working full time and still building my roof so it might be a bit until the next update. So if you ever considered commenting on this piece now is the time because I need all the encouragement I can get. Comments always give me more motivation and energy to write even if they are simple.   
> So anyways what do you think? How are they going to get Kara back? What improvements should I make with my writing? Any other ideas, tips, suggestions, random things you just want to talk about? my ears are open


	18. Not Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that wasn't too long of a wait right?   
> This chapter was harder for me to write than most the other and work is killing me but you guys are awesome and commented so much and really motivated me so hopefully this chapter is a good reward

Kara was in the Phantom Zone. Drifting. Floating. Timelessly falling in endless circles of swirling darkness. Had she ever left? Had it all been a dream? Earth? The Danvers? Supergirl? Kara couldn’t seem to remember. Her pod rocked gently on the cosmic waves of the Zone. She was trapped, sitting on the edge of sleep—not tired enough to rest deeply but something sitting on her consciousness, pushing her down and keeping her from fully waking.

So she was stuck in limbo.

The air in her pod was cold. It blew against Kara’s face, filling her nose and sliding down her throat. The icy oxygen tickled her lungs as they inflated and deflated. Full and empty. Cold then warm. Was just breathing always this nice? The temperature should have been uncomfortable, but each frozen breath was like ecstasy. Euphoria. Bliss. When was the last time she had felt this good?

This wasn’t normal. But Kara didn’t care.

Something pressed against the ridge of her nose and the sides of her face. Tight enough on her skin that raw indentions had formed.  She couldn’t see whatever it was; her eyes remained sealed closed, but she knew something was there and it was distracting her from her enjoyable breathing. She tried to lift her arm to move it away, but something pinched her inner elbow as she moved. There was a tug; something was attached to her arm. She pulled against it, but the pinching didn’t stop. She gave up—her other arm would work just as well to remove the thing on her face. But as she lifted her hand a blaze of heated pain spiked into her shoulder.

This wasn’t right. She wasn’t hurt when she left Krypton. No. Something had happened. Something was wrong.

Words drifted to her ears. Mumblings. Phrases she couldn’t find meaning in. That wasn’t right either. She was alone in her pod. The Zone should be silent, empty. She shouldn’t hear anything but her own breathing. Maybe she was just imagining it. Creating something to fight the loneliness. Not that it helped her feel any better. She decided to stop trying to hear what was being said and just ignore it. The sounds would eventually fade away.

But they didn’t.

If anything they got louder, more distinct. She could pick up a few words here or there.

“ETA”

“Oxygen”

“Alive”

This final crack in the illusion was enough to shatter it all. This wasn’t in her head. She wasn’t in her pod. This wasn’t the Phantom Zone.

Memories trickled in. Not all at once. Only here or there.

The crash. Running from Cadmus. Alex.

She didn’t know where she was. She wasn’t outside anymore. Wherever she was she was moving; she could still feel the swaying beneath her. Had the DEO finally rescued them? She had to know.

So she fought against the pull of unconsciousness and eventually was able to crack open her eyes. She blinked back against the bright lights, but kept them open. The pressure on her nose was an oxygen mask. That’s where the cold air was coming from. It had to be the DEO who was helping her because why would Cadmus help her? The rounded room and medical equipment all blurred together in her vision. But she was still able to make out a heart rate monitor, oxygen tanks, and IV drip. No sun lamps. That wasn’t right. Nothing looked familiar. There was no one at her bedside. Where was Alex? She always stuck to Kara’s side like glue when she was injured. But she was nowhere to be seen.

This wasn’t right. This wasn’t the DEO.

Something moved in her periphery vision. A tall dark shape. She tried to turn to get a better look but her neck muscles were stiff and sore. The person—or at least what she assumed was a person—stayed behind her bed just out of her view, working on something while mumbling to himself. The voice was gruff, harsh even when whispering. It was familiar, but off. Not quite right. Just like everything else around her.

But she couldn’t do anything. She didn’t have the energy to move, didn’t know whether it was safe to alert the man, didn’t know if she could even speak to do so. All she could do was wait. Wait for something to happen. Wait for someone to come and tell her what was going on.

She closed her eyes and let herself drift off, the cool air soothing her breaths into a deeper steadier rhythm, better than it had been in days.

But shuffling nearby broke through the relaxing moment. The man had moved, drawing closer until she could feel his presence leaning over her. His hot breath contaminated the air around her as he checked the equipment she was hooked up to. She couldn’t let him know she was awake, couldn’t trust him until she was sure that it was safe. So she waited for the wind of his breath to face away from her. When she could no longer feel the concentration of heated air on her skin, she open her eyes into slits.

J’onn! The DEO had rescued her. He was here looking after her. Alex must be nearby; he wouldn’t have left her behind.

Something rang back behind her where he had been sitting before. He turned, facing her but looking past her bed.

Revealing the metal plate on the other side of his head.

Kara almost gasped, but thankfully the oxygen mask contained her reaction. She closed her eyes and waited to see if she had been spotted, not knowing what he would do if he knew she was awake. But he moved away towards the ringing, unaware of his captive’s consciousness.

She was facing an enemy not a friend and she couldn’t give away any advantage she had. She was a prisoner despite the lack of restraints. She was powerless, injured, and captured by Cadmus.

But where was Alex? Kara hadn’t seen her, but that didn’t mean that she had not been caught too. She sent a silent prayer to Rao that Alex had gotten away, that she had listened to her and left her behind, saved herself. Kara couldn’t be the cause of Alex’s imprisonment. They couldn’t do what they did to Jerimiah to her. The guilt of putting Alex in this situation in the first place already weighed heavily on her heart. Her life wasn’t worth Alex sacrificing hers. Alex had to have left her behind. She simply wouldn’t accept any other solution to Alex’s absence no matter how the abandonment stung.

“We caught the Kryptonian and we are returning to base.” Henshaw’s voice cut through her internal monologue.

“Good,” the voice of Lillian Luther crackled through a radio phone. “Keep her alive. If necessary use the high dosage of adrenaline I provided for you. I can’t be sure how exactly it will react to her Kryptonian biology. It could possibly return her powers and heal her or it could kill her so only use it as a last resort. Be sure to keep kryptonite handy just in case.”

Out of the corner of her eye Kara watched Henshaw pick something up, something small and narrow, and examine it. “Affirmative,” he said as he placed the object and radio down. He didn’t return to check on her but remained behind her, muttering to himself again.

She was relieved that there had been no mention of Alex. Henshaw would have said something if they had caught a high level DEO agent especially someone like her sister.

So she was alone. On her way to Cadmus’s base. Into the clutches of Lillian Luthor. And she would do more than just take her blood this time. But at least Alex wasn’t there to suffer to. Kara let that single thought hold off the fear. That was all that mattered. She could endure the torture, experimentation, loneliness, as long as her sister was safe.

A shout from Henshaw derailed her thoughts again.

“Why are we landing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I have lots to say so sorry  
> first off your comments are awesome and really help and if you want me to update faster than comments are the best way to make that happen (especially ones with suggestions, ideas, or critics but simple ones are way cool too)! so going alone with that what do you guys think should happen in the next chapter(s)? How are they going to get out of the mess their in? Any prompts or suggestions?  
> second off go see Wonder Woman its worth the money. It about killed me it was so good  
> third I don't know when the next update will be but I'll try to make it as short of a wait as possible  
> fourth if you like my story and want more things like it come yell at me on tumblr @ecrooked24. I will possible start doing prompts if I get some because I really need more motivation to practice my writing during the summer
> 
> Thanks and love you guys!


	19. Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and J'onn's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I'm so sorry about the wait. Life is exhausting and finding motivation to write can be an insurmountable task when playing video games and mindlessly scrolling through tumblr seem so much easier. Well anyways I'm not really feeling great about this chapter and my writing in general but I don't want to keep you guys waiting anymore so hopefully its not unbearable.

The helicopter was going down. Not in a ball of flames, thankfully. Just landing. Alex watched it come to rest in a rocky clearing from where she was hovering high in the sky clinging to J’onn.

“How—“ she started but with a glance towards him she saw he had a finger pressed against his temple and his eyes closed. He was bring it down. Any lapse in concentration might lead to the Cadmus escaping again or J’onn dropping her, so Alex clamped her mouth shut and patiently waited.

After the plane was firmly landed, J’onn descended to the edge of the clearing. He placed Alex down on the ground in a place hidden by a rocky outcropping and trees. He remained hovering in the air.

“I knocked the pilots out so now only Henshaw is left. You stay here while I handle him,” he ordered.

Alex nodded, masking her thoughts. Picturing anything but her intentions to help him anyway she could. Strong memories to overpower anything else. Days at the shooting range with Maggie. Sister’s nights with Kara. Building things with Winn.

“I’m serious Alex. You’ve done enough. Let me do this. I’ll come back and get you when it’s safe,” he said with a hint of pleading this time.

“I will,” Alex said with a sigh and then added, “Be safe.”

J’onn gave her a slight smile and then was off, leaving Alex alone.

So she could trick a lie detector and now a mind reader.

She had no intention of waiting on the side lines while Kara was in trouble.

Alex scrabbled up the rocks. About halfway to the top, a rock gave out beneath her feet, forcing her to catch herself. She winced at the contact with her broken hand. But she continued to climb upwards, no choice but to go on all fours unless she wanted to fall and hurt herself more. When she arrived at the top of the outcropping she collapsed onto her back. Her vision got fuzzier with every heaving breath. She really was not in any shape for a fight. But she would fight. Alex would fight through all the pain in the world if she needed too. But she would have to wait until the rolling, throbbing waves of pain coming off her ribs, shoulder, and hand faded to a manageable level. When she finally could get a handle of her own body she flipped over and looked down into the clearing. The outcropping provided a perfect overlook. She would wait and watch for an opening. An opportunity to help.

From her look out above she watched Henshaw step out of the helicopter as J’onn descended, ready to confront him.

* * *

J’onn wasn’t going to wait around to try and talk his way through this problem.

               He smashed into Henshaw. Lifted him off the ground and threw him back down again. The earth buckled beneath his metal body and formed a crater.

Henshaw clawed his way back to the surface and glared up at J’onn’s floating form. “Not that I don’t enjoy the idea of beating your green butt, I have orders to get your Kryptonian to our labs and I wouldn’t want to be late.”

J’onn froze. He glanced over at the helicopter, through the open cargo door. He could see a gurney. And a limp form. Images flashed in his mind. Of red sand. Fire. Too much of it. Screaming children. His children. The needless violence. White Martian executioners. It couldn’t happen again. He wouldn’t let it. Not to Kara. Not to Alex. He couldn’t beat the White Martians but he could beat Cyborg Superman.  

A hard grip on his ankle ripped him from his thoughts. Before he could fly out of the hold, Henshaw pulled him to the ground hard. He hammered a kick into J’onn’s chest sending him tumbling across the clearing.

But J’onn shot back up in a flash.

Pain wasn’t going to keep him down. He was tired of losing to a wannabe supervillain.

He sprinted back to his enemy. Henshaw threw the first punch, but J’onn slid underneath his arm. He pummeled the cyborg’s side with a barrage of jabs. They weaved around the clearing, exchanging blows. Henshaw’s moved like he expected any moment he would win. Like every punch would be the last. A lot like how Kara fought when she first started. Henshaw might be strong, but he wasn’t used to the power yet. He wasn’t born with it. Hadn’t spending his whole life growing in strength, learning to control it. But J’onn had. The Martian wasn’t going to let that advantage go unused.

He was going to beat Cyborg Superman. He was going to save his daughters.

* * *

Alex could see how close they were to victory. She could see it in the fervor in J’onn’s eyes. In the slight tremors of Henshaw’s hands when he lifted them to throw another punch. J’onn had him on the ropes—

Something bright blinked in the corner of her eye. A spark near the helicopter. No, full flames. Silhouetted by the fires, she saw two Cadmus agents—must be the pilots—lighting torches. With one in each hand, they began creeping towards the battling titans in the clearing.

That wasn’t good. She had to stop them.

Alex shuffled down the other side of the outcropping. No thought of pain.  Hidden in the shadows, she imitated the gentle breeze flowing through bushes and grass. The collisions between J’onn and Henshaw masking any sounds she made. She was approaching the two men, fast.

She needed a plan. Normally, she would be able to take them out without too much trouble. But she was mentally and physically at her breaking point. Not to mention probably too injured to be upright. She would need some other means of taking them down besides hand to hand combat.

The pilots were only lightly armed. Probably didn’t think they would have to do any fighting with their metal men there to do it for them. That was good. She spotted a side arm strapped to both men’s hips. If she could just get close enough she could—

With a quick darting motion, she grabbed the gun from the closest operative. He spun around, sweeping his torches in a wide arc. Alex tried to duck but her body was too slow. The flames hit her shoulder, igniting her sleeve. She dropped to the ground, groaned at the sudden jolt to her injuries. He swung again, this time downward. She rolled away and then faced him, aiming the gun and firing without a second thought.

She heard J’onn call her name, but she didn’t have time to respond. The second pilot threw one of his torches at her before she could shoot again. The stick smacked against her stomach, not really hurting but lighting the fabric on fire there too. Alex rolled again, trying to put out the flames, stop the heat as it laced through her shirt and against her skin. The fire caught on the dry grass, spreading in a path behind her. Getting hotter. Burning. But the pilot was still after her. She lifted her smoldering body into a standing position. Searching through the smoke for her enemy. And finding herself staring down the barrel of his gun.

No time to lift her own weapon.

His finger on the trigger.

Twitching.

Squeezing.

Then screaming.

Not her own.

The pilot collapsed, hands gripping his head. Gun abandoned on the ground. He was shaking, convulsing. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he went limp.

“Alex! Get away from those flames,” J’onn called, a hand falling from his temple. He tried to shuffle forward, but the fire held him back. Fear dancing with the fiery reflections in his eyes.

She limped over to him, patting her clothes until the flames were gone, with only hot ashes of fabric left. J’onn’s arms circled around her, pulling her up and away from the burning grass and back to the rocky outcropping.

“Are you okay?” he asked, pushing her away slightly so he can look her over.

“I’m good for now. Where is Henshaw?”

He tensed. “I don’t know. I got distracted by the flames and then had to stop that agent from shooting you.”

“He must have run like he always does when he’s losing. But that doesn’t matter right now. Let’s just go and get Kara.”

He nodded and gripped her again, flying them to the helicopter. He shied away from the fire as best he could and landing next to the cargo door.

Alex bolted in and then froze. Barely containing a scream.

It couldn’t be right. Maybe she was finally going crazy.

J’onn stepped in behind her and froze as well. Confirming that what she was seeing wasn’t just her.

There was a medical equipment, supplies, a bed.

An empty bed.

No one there.

No Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeehhhhhhh I feel like this chapter was soooo bad, but the next one should be better I promise. I'm going on a road trip next week so I should have more time to write while I'm driving but wifi might be iffy so I'll maybe get two chapters done before I update again.   
> So I need some help. Let me know what you are wanting for the next bit of this story. I have a plan but its just seeming more and more lackluster so please give me some ideas. angst, action, suspense, anything. I'm desperate for something to spice up the story and give me some more motivation/desire to continue writing.   
> What did you think of this chapter? Was there anything you think that I shouldn't have done (so I can pinpoint why I didn't really like this chapter)? or was it really not that bad and I'm just in a bad mood?   
> Thanks for reading and commenting!!!


	20. The Plunge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow 20 chapters! I can't believe it. I really didn't plan to write this long but this fic really got away from me.  
> Well you guys are lucky that the drive through Southern California is so desolate because I got a lot of writing done.  
> So just fyi I'm going to say there is a suicidal thought trigger warning just to be safe. so be careful.

Kara had no idea what was going on. The helicopter had landed. Or at least she thought it had. And she was pretty sure Henshaw had gone outside but then he was ripped from her view. By something big and black. Maybe another Fort Rozz alien come to attack her when she was vulnerable. With her luck, it was nothing good. Indistinct rumbling came from outside, but she couldn’t make out anything to determine what the source was. Without her powers, it felt like she had cotton balls stuffed in her ears. Everything was dampened. Too quiet compared to what she was used too. And with the fever still messing with her head and skewing all her senses she couldn’t be sure anything she was seeing or hearing was real. A noise much closer than the thundering caught her attention. A snore? Were the pilots sleeping? That didn’t make sense. This had to all be just in her head.

But maybe should get away from the helicopter. Escape from Cadmus. Maybe even find Alex—though she doubted the likelihood of that.

She tried to sit up, pushing up against the gurney beneath her. Her arms buckled under her own weight and her body collapsed. The numbness that had filled her suddenly disappeared. A blaze of pained roared up and down her limbs and torso. Her head throbbed. Even with the oxygen mask her sudden shallow breathes made her chest burn. She squeezed her eyes shut, begging for unconsciousness to draw her back into oblivion, numbness. The darkness of sleep pooled in her mind, but the pain bailed it out, ever yanking her back to awareness. All thought of escape had been tossed out as well. Everything faded away except her internal battle. She didn’t hear the continued thundering or the rustling as the pilots awoke from their forced slumber and exited the helicopter.

Maybe she was dying. She wished she was. Silently begged to for it all to end. The pain would stop. She would escape Cadmus’s experimentation. She would be in Rao’s light. With her parents and Astra. She just wanted this all to end. Hadn’t she been through enough? Couldn’t whatever was holding her here just let her go? National City would be fine without Supergirl. They did fine before. Her friends would be sad, but they’d move on. And then Alex… well it might take longer for her to get over her death. But she would be fine eventually. She wouldn’t have to worry about taking care of her anymore, wouldn’t be kidnapped and used as bait to get to her. It would just be better for everyone. So why wouldn’t it just happen? Just let her die. Please. Please. Please just let her die.

A spike of pain in her inner arm dragged her out of the mental downward spiral. Her IV had been ripped out and she could feel a small stream of blood flow down her arm. She managed to open her eyes, only to jump at the sight of Hank Henshaw glaring at her.

“Good, your awake. I wanted you to see something before we left,” he growled.

He tugged the oxygen mask off her face and she immediately missed the cold, constant air. Then he pulled her into a sitting position. Her vision went black and her wounds burned white hot at the sudden movement. He waited a second for her to recover, and then pointed out the cargo doors. It took a moment for the haziness of her vision to fade to only the edges, but the blazing clearing came somewhat into focus. The movements of a battle between several silhouetted figures caught her attention. Some looked familiar. Alex. She was fighting… must be the Cadmus pilots. But there was another figure. Alex was stopping the agents from getting to them. She squinted, trying to make out who it was.

“Seems like your sister has a new favorite pet alien.”

“J’onn?” Kara croaked.

“Yes. I watched Agent Danvers run right to his aid. Didn’t even bat an eye in your direction. Must have thought you are too much of a lost cause,” he said, his grin wide and terrifying. “Now you’ll know there’s no point in hoping for a rescue. Your protectors are busy. You belong to Cadmus now.”

With that he hoisted her over his shoulder. She cried out in pain. This was much worse than her movement before. And because of Henshaw’s continued movement, it wasn’t lessen a bit. He was walking now and each step elicited a gasp from Kara. The smoke from the fire circled around them, stinging her eyes and making her lungs burn even more.

She watched the fiery clearing disappear along with her family. She tried to call out to them, where they stood embracing each other. But only hollow raspy whimpers escaped her throat. They couldn’t hear her. Not over the burning fire. Not from that distance. J’onn took to the air and flew up and away.

They were gone.

They had left her.

Abandoned her to Cadmus.

 She couldn’t say she blamed them. A part of her was actually glad that they had chosen their own safety for once.

Soon the reds and yellows of the burning clearing disappeared behind dark trees and shadows. The farther Henshaw carried her the more she felt herself slipping into the clutches of restless unconsciousness. Her body couldn’t handle the amount of pain it was experiencing and the help from IV of liquids and oxygen mask was dearly missed. Her fever was rearing its ugly head again, making her sweat and scrambling her thoughts even more than they already were.

“You still alive back there?” Henshaw called over his shoulder.

Kara didn’t say anything, but an intentionally rough step drew a grunt from her and answered his question.

“Good because I wouldn’t want to have to use drastic measures.” 

From where she hung over his shoulder she could see one of his hands pat against a pocket, making sure that whatever filled it was still there.

“Luthor is going to have a hay day with you. Blood, bone marrow, organs… gray matter, she going to want to get at all of it. She won’t waste time with pain meds either. With what you have in you, she’ll have everything she needs to make humans strong enough to defend themselves aliens without all of these cybernetic enhancements. Not just that but you’ll be helping fight diseases, maybe even cure cancer. You can die knowing that you saved humanity. Though I don’t believe that you deserve that kind of peaceful end.”

Kara didn’t want any of this. She just wanted a stop button. An exit. Make it all go away. Especially Hank’s acid voice poisoning her thoughts. Maybe she did deserve this. That would explain why she was still alive. She would be tortured so others could live.

“But don’t worry Luthor will keep you alive for as long as possible so nothing goes to waste. I might just arrange for you to see your little patchwork family again before you head to alien hell. The Martian will have to join you on the testing tables, but your traitor sister could be a perfect subject for our first Kryptonian enhancements. After all the trouble she’s given me, I’ll personally make sure that she’ll end up better than her pathetic father. Though from your perspective it might be worse. We’ll see how much she loves you aliens after all of that.”

The words stung worse than kryptonite. She couldn’t be the cause of more pain for Alex. She had already been enough of a burden. She couldn’t let that happen. But what could she do to stop it? With how weak her body was, she couldn’t even react to his words. Thankfully, the lack of an up rise from her quieted him down.

They continued on in a silence only broken by Kara’s occasional cry of pain. Until a ringing came from Henshaw’s side.

“This is Henshaw.”

Kara could just make out the crackling answer over the radio phone. “We lost contact with the helicopter. What happened?”

He began to relay the situation. Completely distracted.

If Kara was going to do anything now was the time.

But without her powers she couldn’t fight and she could barely move. Escape was close, but still just out of reach.

But Henshaw’s pocket wasn’t.

As slowly and carefully as she could move her shaking hands, she reached into the pocket and pulled the contents out. A syringe. It had to be what Lillian had been talking about. The adrenaline. Kara was wary of it. She didn’t like needles. Especially syringes. Especially syringes full of liquid of which she didn’t know how it would affect her. It could give her back her powers. Or it could kill her.

But the more she thought about it the more appealing both of those options became compared to her current state.

If her powers came back then she could escape and heal and help Alex and J’onn get home. Or she would die and hope that Lillian wouldn’t be as successful getting what she wants from a corpse instead of a live body. And that she wouldn’t be able to get to Alex.

Everything would be fine if Alex was safe.

With that last thought, she plunged the syringe into her chest and pressed down on the plunger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a cliffhanger right? pretty great/awful? what did you think of that angst? too much? to little? what do you think will happen to her? what will J'onn and Alex do? what do YOU want to happen? please let me know your thoughts and suggestions. even if you think your ideas are not good enough just for 1 trust me they are and for 2 even if they weren't very good I would still want to hear them.  
> Well I'm back home from my trip so I'll be back to normal with my schedule but I'll do my best to update as frequently as I could.


	21. Storm Front

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to say that I am excited about adding this chapter is a major understatement. I stayed up suuuupppper late writing it because my blood was pumping and I couldn't stop. I crammed in as much suspence, angst, and action as I could.  
> Enjoy!

Northing was happening.

Kara pushed down on the plunger harder, but it was already completely empty. She pulled the needle from her chest and it fell uselessly to the ground.

It wasn’t working. Why wasn’t it working? She needed it to work. To do _something_.

But it did nothing.

Until the panic pushed liquid through her veins. Soon her heart was pounding fast. Faster than normal even for her Kryptonian biology. Faster than it should. It was as if it had started a race to some unseen finish line and it was dead set on beating all its competitors. She didn’t know her breathing could get any worse, any shallower, but it did. And something else. Something more than just adrenaline coursed through her. Something she hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever. Strength.

And she wasn’t going to waste it.

She pushed herself off Henshaw, knocking him to the ground and herself into to the air. And then remained there, hovering. That meant flight was back too.

Henshaw stared up at her in shock, “How did— “

Before he could finish her powers sputtered. She fell several yards down to the ground and screamed when she landed on her broken leg. She crumpled, her whole body shaking from the violent breathing and thundering heartbeat. Her chest was tight, like someone was squeezing her heart and her powers… weren’t working. She wasn’t healing.

“We have a situation. I’ll call you when I have it handled,” Hank said, pulling her attention back to the situation at hand.

He ran at her, grabbed at her arm. She lashed out to defend herself and landed a punch on his chest. She recoiled, shaking out her hand. The metal underneath his skin bruised her bones, but he still had staggered back from her blow. So no healing, probably no freeze breath, heat or x-ray vision, and flight and bulletproofness were iffy, but at least she had her strength and speed to work with. For now.

She stood up, trying to hide how unstable she was and act confident as she faced Henshaw. “We don’t need to fight. Just let me go and neither of us have to get hurt.”

He just laughed. And threw the first punch.

* * *

A storm was rolling in. Angry billowing clouds towering high in the sky like fortress wall, blocking out the evening sun. It wasn’t raining yet, but it would be soon.

“He can’t have gotten far carrying Kara through these dense trees. Can you sense them at all?” Alex asked. They had searched the entire interior of the helicopter but had found no clues as to where Henshaw had gone. If Alex had been freaking out before then she was having a full on break down now. Her hands shaking, her body restless with the need to do something, thoughts spiraling into doom and despair. But she was going to use that just like she had been trained to do. Use the manic energy to fuel her tired body. Push her into action. Keep her going until Kara was safe.

“I can’t read either of their minds so it makes it harder to feel their presence, but I’ll keep trying,” J’onn said as he helped her out of the copter. “Is there any way I can convince you to stay here and let me do the search alone?”

“Nope,” she said. “But at least I’m armed this time.” She slid the hand gun from one of the Cadmus pilot’s into the back of her pants and grabbed onto J’onn’s side like she had before.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better about this,” he scoffed. Still he clasped onto her as well and lifted her into the air.

They swept above the forest in widening circles around the clearing. J’onn searched with all his heightened senses to find something, anything that could even hint at a trail Henshaw had left. Alex, on the other hand, looked for the metal man himself. She didn’t care about his enhancements or any other advantage he had against her, she was going to make him pay for all he had done to her family. She scanned between tree branches for any movement or a glimmer off his metal plates.

A loud echoing boom pulled her from her search. Thunder. But there was no flash of lightning. And the storm wasn’t close enough for it to sound that loud or close. It didn’t sound right either—more of a cracking noise than the deep rumble of thunder. She swiveled her head to look at J’onn. He seemed to be listening to the sound as well. Whatever was making it was getting closer. The sounds became more explosive. Irregular but continuous.

“What in the— “ Alex started to say before movement following another thunderous boom caught her eye.

Something collided with the tail of the helicopter, ripping it off and sending shrapnel flying everywhere. The projectile flopped to the ground becoming a trembling pile of red and blue.

Kara.

* * *

 Kara knew she needed to get up, but all she could focus on was attempting to catch her breath. Her lungs heaved painfully, trying to keep up with the frantic palpitations of her heart and failing miserably. Everything felt like it was burning, like she was on fire.

“I finally perfected the serum,” a snide voice said, gripping her attention. She dragged her head up out of the dirt to find the speaker. Through shaky vision she found the hazy form of Lillian Luther holding up Alex with one hand and a syringe hovering over her sister’s exposed throat. “It took a while but it’s finally ready for human testing. And who better to start it out than Agent Danvers. She’ll finally be able to step out of your shadow.”

“No,” Kara wheezed but it was too late.

Lillian pressed the needle into Alex’s throat and Alex screamed.

Kara had never her scream like that before. Never seen her in that much pain. Her sister should never have to go through something like this. She had to stop it. She lifted herself up and sprinted towards them ready to punch the smirk off Lillian’s face.

But she disappeared.

Gone like smoke in the wind.

Kara swiveled around to find Alex, but she was gone too.

Henshaw, however, she saw clearly. He ran at her, slamming his knee into her chest and sending her flying. She collided with something hard again, but this time she recognized it. The Cadmus helicopter. Maybe J’onn was nearby and could help her stop Lillian and Henshaw or get Alex away from this here.

She didn’t have time to look around because her enemy was upon her again. But it wasn’t Henshaw.

“A-Astra,” Kara stuttered while ducking a swipe at her head. “How are you here?”

“You let them kill me,” her aunt growled. “Sided with humans instead of the last true members of your race, your family. You let your own sister murdered me. And now I’m going to kill you.”

Astra clobbered her fist into her wounded side. Kara screamed between clenched teeth and stumbled to the ground.

“I’m sorry,” she tried to say through heavy panting, but when she looked up her aunt was gone.

Just Henshaw smirking down at her. He lifted his foot and pushed it against her chest, pressing her to the ground. She groaned under the weight as it increased the painful pressure growing in her chest. She swatted against the foot, but couldn’t get a good angle to lift Henshaw off her. He pushed a harder and a thundering crack reverberated through her whole body. He had broken another rib. A silent scream drew itself past her blue tinged lips. Her breathing grew shallower after each breath and dark spots started to dance in her eyes. She let them drift closed, knowing unconsciousness would soon take her.

“You can’t even die properly.”

Kara’s eyes whipped open at the familiar voice. Now Henshaw wasn’t alone, Alex stood above her too. But she didn’t move. Didn’t try and stop Henshaw, or help Kara at all. Just glared down at her with dead eyes.

“If I thought that you weren’t a member of my family after the incident with my dad and that stupid Daxamite then it will only be confirmed after you get yourself captured and get me experimented on in result.”

Kara tried to stop her from continuing. To apologize. To say she wouldn’t let it happen. But she couldn’t promise anything. She couldn’t even speak. Couldn’t even breathe.

“Now that I think about it, it’s because of you I’m in this mess in the first place. I would be happy and healthy with my unbroken family and medical degree if it weren’t for you. I wish you had died on Kyrpton like you were supposed to,” Alex snarled as she let her foot join Henshaw’s in suffocating her.

She wished that too. Wished that none of this had happened. She wished she could tell her that. Apologize for ruining her life. But the world was getting dark, more distant.

“Kara,” Alex said, sounding far away.

Kara looked up again, but her sister was gone.

“KARA,” Alex screamed much louder this time, but Kara still couldn’t see her.

Suddenly the weight lifted off her chest and she could breathe a little easier. She twisted onto her side and tried to alleviate the burning in her lungs, but she couldn’t stop hacking. Blood speckled her chin and the ground. But then there was a hand on her back, rubbing comforting circles and then pulling her to her feet.

Alex.

She was more solid this time. Yet softer than the last version. The glint of determination returned to her eyes. And the injuries to her body.

“J’onn is handling Henshaw. Let’s get out of here.”

Kara really did want to listen. She wanted this all to be real. For Alex to be the real Alex this time and to save her and bring her far away from this place. But she heard J’onn groan and saw the fire. A torch being wielded against him. And she knows she had to keep fighting. Protect her family from getting hurt because of her.

So she pulled away from her sister and joined the battle.

* * *

 Alex tried to stop her, but somehow Kara was strong again. Not as strong as she should be and not healing at all. But still stronger than her, especially in her exhausted state.

She watched as the three super powered beings exchanged blows. Henshaw was outnumbered, but with the fire and Kara’s instability he wasn’t outmatched. Kara did her best to put out the flames but they seemed to burn her just as badly as they would a human. That scared Alex. But not as much as the look in Kara’s eyes did. A storm of emotions raged behind her glazed over eyes. Pain. Panic. Despair. The only other time Alex had seen that look was right after they had pulled Kara out from under the Black Mercy’s sway. After her whole world had been ripped from her a second time. What could have caused that look again?

Henshaw shoved J’onn into a patch of still burning grass. He froze, paralysed by fear. Leaving Kara in the battle alone. Henshaw turned to the Kryptonian and struck her. Kara staggered back. The sight of fresh blood dribbling down her lips sent Alex into action.

She pulled out her gun and ran to stand between the cyborg and her sister. But Henshaw sped towards her, batting aside the gun and grabbed her by the throat.

* * *

 

Kara took a step forward, but a strangled cry from Alex as Hank suddenly tightened his grip made her freeze.

“Don’t take another step or I will crush her wind pipe… Then again,” he said moving so that Alex was facing Kara, “Maybe I’ll just do it for fun and then beat you and your Martian friend into oblivion before dragging you both back to Cadmus.” He paused for a moment and then added, speaking more to Alex this time, “Not quite as good as my first plan, but much more satisfying to end your life with my own hands.”

Alex flailed against him as his grip grew tighter again.

And that was the last straw.

Kara roared. She dashed to Henshaw and threw all of her weight into a punch to his elbow. A crack resonated up her arm, but for once it wasn’t her that cried out in pain. He dropped Alex and cradled his arm to his chest. Kara wanted to stop and check on Alex who lay gasping on the ground, but she had to end this.

She released all her pain, all her anger into her fists. Letting them pummel Henshaw’s skin like hail. Then J’onn was at her side. Adding to her attacks and helping defend her. They fought together like a unit, a completely united pair. A hurricane of kicks and punches, swirling around their enemy.

But it wasn’t enough. Henshaw was still standing, still blocking their attacks. They needed something more. Something—

The sound of gun shots split the air. The bullets rang as they bounced off of Henshaw’s back, knocking him forwards a bit. They all searched for the ambusher and spotted Alex standing behind Hank, her gun still raised. She had given them the something they needed. A perfect distraction. As if realizing this, he turned back to his alien attackers but they were both already swinging a synchronized punch at his face. The blows launched him into the air and across the clearing.

He didn’t get back up.

Without the drive to attack and the fear of the consequences of loss to push her, the adrenaline started to fade. The remaining flames seemed to press in on Kara and her vision swirled. It felt like her ribs that weren’t already broken would snap under the weight on her chest. The ground tilted beneath her and she collapsed.

Finally, she could sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for yet another cliff hanger! But still pretty intense right? Let me know what you think? Any ideas on what should happen next? I have some ideas but nothing hugely substantial. Depending on how quickly I can get something solid plotted out the update could be by the end of this week or not until next week.   
> Thanks so much for all the comments and just readers in general!


	22. Say Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is it, one of the moments you guys have been waiting for probably since the beginning. Sorry that this update took a little longer than usual, my boss decided that she likes me so she's going to schedule me for almost 50 hours and my dad decided this week of course was the perfect time to start re-roofing the 2nd half of our roof so I have been like a walking zombie. But thinking about you guys suffering because of the last cliffhanger kept me more motivated to keep writing so thank you and you're welcome. t  
> Sorry the writing might seem a little rushed but I was in a time crunch and I really wanted to get this out for you as fast as I could so hopefully it's not too bad.  
> Enjoy!

Alex wasn’t fast enough. Her reaction time too slow. Too caught up in the thrill off success, in beating Henshaw, in finally helping, to catch her sister’s broken body as it toppled to the ground.

But she was there an instant later, pulling Kara into her lap looking for something to fix.

She had no idea where to start.

Kara was shaking, convulsing almost. Alex pressed her fingers against Kara’s grimy neck and searched for a pulse. What she found was almost as frightening as finding nothing at all. It was like the beating of 32nd notes on a snare drum pounding against her fingerprints. Too fast for even a Kryptonian. Kara’s throat quivered beneath her hand as too little air flew in and out too quickly.  Alex looked up to examine the rest of her sister’s injuries. The storm clouds blocked out the last red beams of the sunset, but she could still just make out the damage in the dim light. Kara’s body was riddled with wounds, old ones reopened and new ones joining them. She was bleeding, greenish red pooling in Alex’s lap and then spilling to the ground. It was too much even for the extensive damage. Something else was going on, more than just battle injuries. How had Kara’s powers come back? Why didn’t they stay? What was she missing? Her mind launched into doctor mode. A more logical and removed Alex shoved the panicking, emotional version of herself aside. She needed to figure out what was going on so that she could fix it. Fix Kara.

For the first time, she recognized J’onn sitting at her side looking exactly how she had felt a moment before: wild eyed and panicking.

“J’onn get Henshaw. I need to know how Kara got her powers back. I’m missing a piece of the puzzle. Get him to tell you,” Alex commanded.

He darted away, but Alex didn’t watch him go. She trusted him to handle it. She needed to focus on Kara. Without moving her out of her lap, Alex grabbed a handful of Kara’s cape and pressed the bundle into the puncture wound in her side, hard enough that it hurt. She had watched Hank punch her sister right in the exact spot, but Kara would bleed out unless Alex put pressure against it. Kara weakly cried out, but didn’t fight against her.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I got you. It’s Alex. You’re safe.”

Some of the tension in Kara’s body leeched away at the sound of her assurances. Alex seized onto the sliver of hope that slide into her heart. She hadn’t expected any response from Kara. Maybe things weren’t as bad as she thought.

“Can you hear me? Can you wake up for me?”

Her eyelashes fluttered, face straining like even that small movement was too much. “—l-le-x? Yo-u — r-r-rea-l...” she croaked between breathes.

Ales used her hand that was not keeping her sister’s lifeblood from seeping out her side to gently cup Kara’s bloody cheek. “It’s me, it’s me. I know it’s hard, but I need to know what happened? What did Henshaw do to you?”

“He-e… I u-s-ed… a-dren…” Her mouth wasn’t working right, lips sagging and not moving to form words. “Sy—ringe,” Kara managed to get out before she was interrupted by a vicious coughing fit, blood flying from her throat onto her chin and Alex’s hand.

So Hank had injected her with a syringe of something? More kryptonite? That wouldn’t make sense if they wanted to keep Kara alive. But what else? What was his plan?

Raindrops began pecking against her skin, steadying growing larger until they were fat drops that splattered on every surface and soaked through Alex’s clothes. A flash of light suddenly illuminated the world. Alex shuddered at the contrast of watery red blood running down Kara’s pale gray skin. Then a rumble followed. Real thunder this time. The weather had finally caught up to them.

J’onn appeared beside her again, this time holding Henshaw’s sagging form in his fists. “Tell her what you told me,” he snarled at Hank.

The cyborg spit a glob of blood at his feet before glaring up at Alex. “She used a dose of adrenaline Luthor gave to me. It was a last resort if she started to die before we arrived at our base. It’s probably concentrated enough to kill a human in under an hour. Who knows what it’s doing to the Kryptonian, but it’s obvious that she is going to d—” J’onn slammed him to the ground before he could finish, silencing him and knocking him out again.

Alex examined Kara, trying to reconcile this new information with her symptoms. She was bleeding too much: hypertension. Erratic breathing: the working of her respiratory system. Irregular and speeding heart beat: result of the hypertension putting too much stress on her heart. But was that all? Was she missing something? And what could she do about it? She had no medicine or equipment. Nothing to save her sister.

But then she remembered her surroundings

Maybe she did have something.

“J’onn help me get her into the Cadmus helicopter,” she said.

He picked her up, moving carefully, but Kara still whimpered as she was lifted from Alex’s lap. “I’m sorry,” he murmured to her as he walked through the scorched clearing with Alex limping along behind him.

They stepped out of the rain, into the grounded vehicle. The lights were out and everything had been jostled around because of the battle, but the gurney was still intact and upright so J’onn laid Kara down there. Alex immediately began searching through the cabinets and equipment for anything she could use.

While she worked, she heard J’onn start to speak but not to her. “We need a medivac at my location now. What’s holding up the reinforcements?” he said with a finger to his ear. Alex couldn’t hear the answer, but J’onn gave a rumbling sigh in response. He then turned to her. “Help is coming, but they are fighting through the swarms of Cadmus operatives that have been sweeping through the area. Can she hold out for a while longer?”

“She’s going to have to.”

Alex found an oxygen mask and pulled it over Kara’s face after turning the machine on. That at least would help keep her oxygenated. But she wasn’t having much success finding anything else useful. Besides the IV drip and oxygen machine, there was only basic first aid supplies. Henshaw really wasn’t planning on providing any medical help to Kara before she got to Cadmus. Alex would just have to make do with what she had.

J’onn moved to the door of the helicopter keeping watch over Henshaw and searching for the DEO helicopter while Alex used the gauze and bandages she found to rewrapped Kara’s wounds. She at least could keep Kara from bleeding out before help arrived.

Then Alex began to gentle clean the blood and dirt off Kara’s skin with some left over gauze wetted by the rain. As she brushed Kara’s forehead her eyelids began to flutter again. But this time they came all the way open, her gaze landing on Alex. Something danced behind the glazed look, like Kara couldn’t believe that Alex was there, couldn’t believe that any of this was real. Like if she closed her eyes Alex would be gone when she opened them again.

“Hey Kara it’s okay. I’m here. We stopped Hank and I’m not leaving. The DEO is coming. I need you to just stay awake for me please.”

Kara nodded ever so slightly. But then her eyes drifted away from Alex’s face, to something over her shoulder. Alex turned, but there was nothing behind her.

“What is it?”

Kara wheezed out words, but the mask blocked the sound. She tried to lift her hand to pull the mask off, but Alex pressed her arm back down softly. She moved the mask the side of Kara’s face, knowing that she could only allow its absence for a minute.

“I s-ee… par-ents… Ast…ra… in Rao’s L-l-light. I… go with—“

“No, you’re going to stay here. You can’t go with them. Not yet… It’s not your time… I’m not ready,” Alex said almost putting the mask back over Kara’s mouth, but a suddenly piercing gaze from her sister stopped her.

“S-orr-y.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for Kara. None of this is your fault.”

The strength oozed out of her eyes, leaving only exhaustion to fill them. They started to droop closed. “L-love… y-you.”

Above the sound of her quiet whispers the thumping of helicopter blades began to  harmonize with the booming thunder.

The DEO was coming.

Alex stroked Kara’s cheek frantically trying to keep her awake, get her eyes to open wide again. “Please Kara. _Please._ ”

“G-goodb—“

The crackle of gunshots shattered the moment as they rang against the metal exterior of the helicopter. Alex jumped in front of Kara’s gurney wielding her body like a shield for her sister against any stray bullets.

“It’s Cadmus. I’ll hold them off. You stay here. The DEO will be here any minute,” J’onn said then jumped out into the storm sky.

Alex turned back to Kara. Her eyes weren’t open and she didn’t respond to Alex’s tough but she was at least breathing although shallowly.

But another spattering of bullets drew Alex away from Kara to the battle.

Alex gripped her gun and peaked around the edge of helicopter door. Flash light beams scattered light erratically, silhouetting the bodies of Cadmus operatives as they descended on wires from the copters. A crack of lightning illuminated the clearing, revealing the entirety of the enemy. Three helicopters full of agents. And her gun was light, almost empty. Not much good against a small army. She’d have to make each shot count.

The DEO really needed to pick up the pace in rescuing them.

A dark blur caught her eye. It smashed into the descending soldiers and knocked them to the ground. When the lightning flashed again she could clearly see it was J’onn, but as the light faded he blended in with the darkness again. He was taking out soldiers left and right, but more were coming. Swarming like roaches over the burnt grass.

A small group touched down and ran to Henshaw. Alex couldn’t let them save him. He deserved to rot in a cell for the rest of his life for what he’d done, not wriggle out of punishment like he always did. Alex fired off a shot, taking down one man, but they didn’t stop. They pulled Hank to his feet and attached a harness to him then started to haul him up to a helicopter. He was getting away. She aimed for the wire and shot again. Her shaking hands and arms sent it flying wide and useless. She cried out in frustration as Henshaw was pulled into the helicopter and out of view. But she couldn’t wallow in her anger.

The group of agents ran at her now. She ducked behind the metal wall to avoid their fire, but stepped out quickly to return her own shots. One collapsed clutching his thigh, but the remaining two ducked out of the way. Alex tried to shoot again, but her gun only clicked. Empty. She turned around, frantically searching for something to use as a weapon, but there was nothing that could stop a full grown and armored man. So she would just have to fight them hand to hand. It didn’t matter how much her body hurt or how exhausted she was. She would do it somehow. Alex had to protect Kara.

When she turned back they were practically on top of her. She threw the gun at one. It hit him high in the chest, momentarily stunning him. But the other was still barreling towards her, gun raised. Ready to shoot her in the head.

But he didn’t have time to pull the trigger.

J’onn landed on top of him, squashing him to the ground. Then he grabbed the other by the collar and threw him across the clearing into another group of men.

He swiveled around to look at her. “Are you oka—“

A bullet slammed into back and sent him to his knees.

“J’onn!” Alex screamed. She jumped out of the protective metal shell and ran to his side, helping him to his feet and pulling him back inside.

She tried to press against the wound, but he stood up and said, “Help me get this door closed.”

Together they pulled the cargo doors shut and braced themselves against them.

“Your back, is it going to be okay?” Alex asked.

“For now. But I won’t be able to protect you as well. And this isn’t going to keep them out long,” he panted.

They both tensed as the agents started ramming something against the door, denting it in between them. She spotted other climbing onto the front of the helicopter, getting ready to smash the glass in.

“Where is the DEO?” Alex shouted over the explosive collisions and crackling thunder.

She couldn’t hear his answer over another spray of bullets against the metal walls.

But then the ramming stopped.

They heard shots and gunfire outside, but not directed at them.

J’onn stepped away from the door. “They’re here.”

* * *

 

Cadmus was retreating. Flying away with the men that were still alive. And Henshaw. But that didn’t seem to matter to Alex as much anymore. Not with agents moving Kara onto a gurney and pulling her into the DEO helicopter. Not as field doctors surrounded her sister, piercing her skin with needles and shouting orders. Not with the monitors now attached to her beeping chaotically.

Alex had to help. Had to save Kara. Because Kara had said goodbye but she couldn’t die. Alex couldn’t let her sister die. And if-- Rao forbid—Kara did die then she hadn’t heard Alex say goodbye back. Alex hadn’t even said she loved her. She had missed her chance.

So she had to fix this. It couldn’t be goodbye.

But an agent pulled her back.

“Agent Danvers you’re injured, let them take care of her.”

She wriggled out of his grip and moved back to Kara’s side. “She overdosed on adrenaline, her lungs are injured badly, and the wounds on her side and shoulder are infected,” Alex told the doctors.

They just nodded and went back to work. The beeping monitors suddenly increased in volume. “She’s going into cardiac arrest. Get the paddles,” someone shouted.

Alex went to grab for the equipment, but someone pulled her away again. She tried to get back to Kara but this time J’onn had caught her and he was too strong.

“Calm down, let them handle it,” he said.

“I have to—“ she was interrupted by a loud prolonged screech from the monitors.

Kara was flat lining.

Alex screamed, throwing herself against J’onn’s arms. She was deaf to everything except the blaring noise of the machines unable to find Kara’s heartbeat.

She didn’t say goodbye.

She didn’t say she loved her.

She didn’t have enough time.

Something sharp pinched her neck and then even the monitors fell silent. All the pain in her body turned to nothing. Numbness. Everything faded to black except Kara’s still body.

“Goodbye,” Alex whispered before she collapsed into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eh? eh?? what do you think? satisfying enough? or too rushed?  
> so here's the dealeo, I'm much more of an action writer and now that the action has for the most part ended I am very much out of my comfort zone but I want to keep going with this so I need your guy's help. Please talk to me and let me know whether here in the comments or on my tumblr (ecrooked24) about what you want to see in the next chapters. With what I have in mind (only the vaguest of ideas) I don't have a lot to go on so I might only have one or two chapters more, but if you guys give me some ideas/inspiration I would be willing to write more. So thanks in advance.  
> Also since this story is coming much closer to the end, I am currently focusing on personal writing projects so I haven't thought of any new fic ideas but if you want to see more written my me I will gladly take prompts both here and on tumblr.  
> Thanks!


	23. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have decided like three things 1. I'm going to finally going to establish the time period as sometime after "exodus" but before other episode, 2. Mon-el exists in this world but Kara and him aren't dating (sorry for those that like ship but this fic isn't going to include him because I want to focus on the sisters and their found family dynamic going on more like season 1(also very little sanvers will be involved if any so sorry)) 3. I'm splitting the story into two parts with everything I've written being part 1 and everything from now on being part 2 and the themes and reasoning for that should become more apparent as I continue
> 
> Be warned! this chapter is a little rough and also dark and a little sadistic of me as a writer to give you but just trust me  
> also its a little rushed so sorry but enjoy anyways!

**Part 2**

Alex was going to be late.

She sprinted through what looked like… a park maybe? Everything was green and well-manicured. There were stones everywhere that she had dodge and jump over as she ran. She was hazy on why she was there or where she was going. Her head didn’t feel right. Too heavy, like she was caring rocks in her skull. But she knew that she was late for something. Something important.

She spotted a huddle of people. All sitting in even rows and dressed in black. Her own outfit mirrored theirs. Not her normal tactical black outfit, but a black dress. Not a tight flirty one either. More formal. Dreary. As Alex got closer and closer she realized that they all sat in silence, their attention directed at a large object in front of all their seats. A wooden box with dark spiraling grain.

And a House of El crest engraved on the top.

Suddenly, Alex couldn’t breathe.

They weren’t just stones.

This wasn’t a park.

She almost screamed, but she shoved her fist against her mouth.

Someone from the group turned at the muffled sound. Her mom. Tears staining her cheeks. A scowl screwing itself onto her face when she spotted Alex. She rose, drawing the attention of the rest of the group. All of Kara’s friends: J’onn, Winn, Lena, James, Cat, and more.

“What are you doing here?” Eliza hissed.

“Is Kara d—“

“Kara wouldn’t want you here, not after what you did.”

“I didn’t—“

“You got her killed!” she shouted over Alex.

Alex choked on air, unable to speak and unsure of what she would say if she could.

Eliza sighed and stared at her silently. “You aren’t welcome here,” she said finally, but Alex was already gone.

Running from her mother’s stinging words.

Running from the glares of the people who had been her friends too.

Running from the truth.

And she didn’t stop. She ran and ran and ran until the cemetery shifted into ungroomed wilderness. Dark gnarled trees leered down at her and blocked out the sun while undergrowth cut her bare legs and grabbed at her dress.

When her lungs felt like they would explode, she stopped. Clinging to a tree trunk, she gasped for air and fought back sobs.

Kara couldn’t be dead. 

The doctors were helping her. They were going to save her. The DEO had finally rescued them. Kara couldn’t have died after all they had gone through to get home again. But she remembered the doctors screaming before everything went black, the sound of Kara’s heart rate monitor flat lining, and doubt slithered around Alex’s bones. Weighing them down. Dragging Alex deeper and deeper into an ocean of anxiety.

But claws dug into her back and slammed her to the ground and pulled her back to the real world. She heaved the weight off her and scrambled to her feet. Her attacker growled behind her. Alex stiffened. She was intimately aware of what type of creature made that sound. She had hoped to never hear it again. The wolf shifted, crunching the leaves beneath its feet and she was off again. 

Running, but this time from something more physical.

It howled and several wolves howled back. They chased her. Flanking her sides. Appearing and disappearing between the dense trees like smokey shadows. Getting closer as she grew more and more exhausted. But one nipped at her heels and her lack of energy was overtaken by adrenaline.

When she saw the building hidden in the tangle of trees, she cried out in relief. They couldn’t get her in there. She bolted for the nearest door, threw it open, and slammed it shut behind her. With her back pressed against the metal, she panted. Dampened by the walls, she could only just hear the frustrated growls of the wolves on the other side. She couldn’t let them get in. The room was pitch black, so she ran her hands over the door searching for some sort of latch to lock it.

Before she could find something, arms wrapped around her chest and lifted her off the ground. She tried to squirm out of the grip, but it was too strong.

Her captor spoke and the voice vibrating through her back paralyzed her. “Stop fighting. We’ve been waiting for you,” Henshaw growled into her ear.

He spun her around just in time to have a light flash on in her face. It was bright in the darkness and momentarily blinded her. When her eyes finally adjusted, Lillian Luthor appeared standing in front of her.

“Now we can finally get started,” she said with a smile.

Henshaw put Alex back on her feet, but she still couldn’t move. She was frozen in place. Lillian grabbed her arm and pointed her at the other side of the room. There she saw more dim lamps and medical equipment and a table.

And Kara.

Her sister lay strapped to the table, stripped down to only a sports bra and shorts and still covered in injuries.

Alex’s jaw dropped. “But the funeral?”

“Was just a clever ploy of which we have you to thank for. If you hadn’t called us, all our effort in trying to capture Supergirl would have gone to waste,” Lillian said as she pulled Alex towards the table.

Kara looked up at her, fears lacing through her eyes. And confusion. A gag muffled her words, but Alex knew she was begging for answers. But she didn’t have any. And her body wasn’t working right. It wouldn’t do anything she wanted. Wouldn’t let her reach out to reassure Kara. Or undo the straps. Or punch Lillian in the nose.

Instead it reached out to grab a scalpel from amongst the other medical tools. 

Lillian laughed and said, “Are you ready to begin Supergirl?”

Alex’s heart thundered to a halt. But her hands kept moving without her consent. Reaching towards Kara, her bare stomach. Dropping closer and closer until the blade touched down. She threw everything against the wall blocking her will, keeping her from controlling herself. But that only left her mind feeling bloody and bruised.

And then Kara’s stomach was bloody. Lines of crimson following the knife. Her muffled screams ripped through the air, bounced off the walls, ruptured Alex’s ear drums.

But Alex couldn’t stop. Couldn’t keep her fingers from dragging the scalpel up Kara’s stomach to her chest. Slicing through skin with no hindrance. Kara’s eyes pleading through pooling tears for her to stop. Please just stop.

But the blade would only go deeper and the screams grew more animalistic and her sister’s blood coated her hand and everything was red and then black and all she could hear were screams and screams and screams and  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again just trust me. it might already be obvious what's going on but its not what it seems. So don't be angry or anything
> 
> okay guys I'm feeling very not a-okay as of late, but writing does seem to help me feel better so I should have another chapter out soon and comments help me feel even better and fill my craving for validation and therefore make me write more so drop me a line if you feel like it. 
> 
> Please please please let me know what you want to see in the next chapters so I can continue to form my ideas and plot it out
> 
> Also if anyone is interested I was wondering if anyone would want to volunteer to hear my ideas for the next chapters and part 2 in general just so I can get some feedback and get my head out of the tight little box its been crammed into. If so please message me on tumblr (ecrooked24 there too) or tell me in the comments here. I would super appreciate it and it would help get chapters out quicker (and make me feel better)  
> Thank you all so much!


	24. Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! this is the fastest update I've had in a while  
> sorry the chapter is a bit rushed but I really want to get to the good stuff coming up and I felt like it sort of fit with the vibe of the chapter so hopefully its not too bad  
> Enjoy!

“Alex wake up. You’re alright, you’re safe”

The sound of Kara’s screams overpowered the reassurances of the disembodied voice. But Alex couldn’t see Kara anymore. Only red and black flooded her vision. She flailed her arms trying to gain control again. And they actually moved, smacking against something, someone. But it didn’t feel like Kara. It didn’t have the hard yet softness of her sister’s form. Still familiar though. The screams were off now too. They didn’t sound like Kara’s they sounded like… her own.

“Alex it’s me, it’s your mom. I’ve got you. Just wake up please.”

Alex snapped her mouth shut, cutting off the piercing screams and opened her eyes—she hadn’t even known that they were closed. Her mom appeared leaning over her. Her face tear stained but covered in a small smile at the sight of Alex’s eyes. The lights were bright and the room swirled around her and she didn’t know where she was but none of that mattered.

“Where’s Kara,” Alex sputtered. She was laying down but she tried to sit up. The movement was too fast and when she had only been disoriented before now she felt nauseous.

Eliza pressed her back down onto the bed. “She’s in surgery right now. Doctor Hamilton is taking care of her.”

Alex went to sit up again, but Eliza kept her hand firm on Alex’s uninjured shoulder keeping her horizontal.

“Please stay down. You’re hurt, don’t make it worse. Don’t make them sedate you again. Maggie is on her way. Just wait here. I’m going to go and let the doctors know that you are awake okay?”

Alex nodded slowly and her mom seemed to take that as a good enough confirmation. Eliza brushed her hand gently against Alex’s face and then left the room.

But Alex had no intention of just waiting.

Kara needed her help. No one knew how to help Kara like she did. What if she woke up, who would be there to comfort her? No one else knew that the best way to hug her so tight it would hurt or how to run her hands through her hair to sooth any crying or what to whisper to pull her out of the abyss of sadness that sometimes threatened to drown her. No one knew Kara like Alex did. And no one knew as much about Kara’s powers or biology. The doctors needed her. Kara needed her.

Alex sat up, ignoring the pounding in her head and throbbing throughout her body. If she was really safe now like her mom said than all that could be dealt with later. Right now she had to focus on Kara. She quickly recognized her surrounding, having spent countless hours in the DEO infirmary, and began making her way to the operation room.

She stepped out into the main hall. A horde of agents came running her direction. Alex darted back into the infirmary, and the agents must have not seen her because they marched by and on down the hall. But she remained leaning against the wall next to the door, breathing heavily and heart pounding. Why was she reacting this way? She needed to pull herself together. For Kara. Those agents weren’t going to do anything to her. Most of them were terrified of her anyway. But it still took several moments of forced deep breathing to calm herself enough to step out again.

She moved as fast as she could to her destination, but ducked and dodged being seen by anyone just in case. She kept an especially good eye out for her mom. Being caught out of bed by Eliza would result in nothing good.

Alex remained undiscovered and arrived at the operation room quickly. Through the glass walls she could only see chaos. Doctors rushing around. Moving equipment and tools back and forth. All covered in blood. They moved too much for her too see much more than quick glimpses of Kara laying in the middle of all of them. She needed to get in there.

Alex reached towards the door handle, but her hand caught her attention. She was filthy. Still covered in the blood and grime of the wilderness. The last thing Kara needed was too get her wounds more infected by Alex. But she didn’t have time waste. Kara needed her now. She resigned to grabbing some gloves from a nearby supply table and then burst through the door.

She pushed through the doctors. Unable to stop herself from being drawn closer and closer to Kara. Stumbling to the side of the operating table, Alex finally got a full view of her sister. Stripped of her suit. Tubes, wires, blood. Kara’s not breathing for herself, a machine is for her. A tube down her throat and taped to her mouth. But the heartrate monitor… its beeping. Her heart beating. She’s alive. Would it last?

Then her attention was drawn to the hands dancing over Kara’s torso. Not Alex’s hands this time, but they were still cutting into Kara. Hurting her. All she can see is Lillian’s face, laughing at the blood pooling beneath the expert incisions. And Kara can’t scream this time. But Alex can and she did as she grabbed at the scalpels, not caring when a blade bites into her hand.

"Agent Danvers stop,” Doctor Hamilton shouted, but Alex couldn’t trust her anymore. She was hurting Kara just like Lillian and Henshaw wanted. Alex was going to stop them. Stop them all.

But hands pulled her back and ripped the scalpels away. She thrashed and punched and kicked. Yet they pulled her away from Kara. And they continued to cut into her sister. Dissect her. Kill her. Alex threw herself against the arms holding her back, but her body was failing her, giving out, crying for relief from the pain. She couldn’t going to stop though. She was going to keep going, keep fighting, keep—

A similar prick pinched her neck and black numbness overwhelmed her.

* * *

When oblivion started to fade, all Alex could hear was quiet continuous beeping. A much better wakeup call than screams. She felt... good, for the first time in days. Nothing ached or throbbed. Her body was light, weightless, like she could float away. It took a moment for her to recognize the feeling as the effects of painkillers.

She opened her eyes and found she was in a different room. With a quick sweep of the area, Alex focused on one thing. Kara. Laying in the bed next to her. Still ventilated, but no longer coated in blood. Instead her whole body was covered in bandages. Sunlamps bathed her in small doses of UV rays, only enough for her currently more human biology could handle.

Alive. Injured, unconscious, and pale but alive.

Alex reached out to cross the gap between their beds, but her hand caught. Looking down, she saw tight straps holding her arms down. Had they been captured again? She pulled against the bounds and the bed creaked at her efforts.

The noise drew someone to her side. “It’s okay. You’re safe. Calm down,” Maggie said rubbing Alex’s hands until they relaxed. “You aren’t going to go berserk again and attack any doctors are you?”

Alex shook her head and Maggie undid the straps. Alex started to sit up, but someone else spoke up.

“You still need to stay down. You need to rest and give your ribs and shoulder time to heal,” Eliza said coming to her other side. Alex opened her mouth to protest, but Eliza interrupted her, “We will sedate you again if we have to. Don’t push it.”

Alex sighed and eased back down into the bed. “How is Kara?”

Eliza gave her a sad smile, “She’s stable, but she’s been through a lot. The kryptonite is being flushed from her system and Doctor Hamilton is giving her some modified antibiotics for her infect, so she’s recovering a little. But her lungs and heart are still damaged and the adrenaline..,” Eliza paused, collecting herself, “She had a stroke. They don’t know the extent of the damage yet, but it could be severe.”

Alex tensed. She should have recognized it. The slurred speak, struggling with speaking, confusion. She should have seen it. She could have warned the doctors, so they could help Kara sooner.

“It’s not your fault Alex.” Maggie rubbed her arms pulling her from her guilty thoughts. “You saved her. Don’t blame yourself for things that you couldn’t stop.”

J’onn stepped up to Eliza’s side, looking tired, but no worse for wear. “Without you we never would have got her back here alive.”

“Kara wouldn’t want you to blame yourself,” Eliza added.

“You’re right,” Alex said though she wasn’t sure if could let go of guilt. But Maggie and her mom didn’t need to worry about her. Kara was the one they should be focusing on. “When does Doctor Hamilton think she will wake up?”

“She doesn’t know. Could be days, weeks… months.” Eliza reached out and squeezed Alex’s unbroken hand. “And with the stroke she might not be the same when she wake up. But we’ll be there to help her through it all no matter what.”

Alex nodded, “No matter what.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no cliff hanger!? What!? crazy right?  
> What did you think? is there anything you want to see with Alex and Kara's recovery? any ideas or suggestions? please let me know. The more I feel like people are responding and really reading this story the faster and better I'll want to write so sorry I don't make the rules that just how it is. but either way I want to try and have the next chapter up by saturday night. maybe  
> Thank You!


	25. Lullabies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom! another early update  
> I've been using writing as a coping thing so you guys are getting chapters a lot faster lately but I don't know how long that will last. Also tonight was super beautiful and peaceful and rainy so this chapter turned out longer than I intended it to be so hopefully you guys like the moment of peace (calm before the storm)  
> also the next few chapter are going to be short (unless they suddenly become longer like this one) and more episodic until the big Thing happens so be prepared  
> Enjoy!

Alex didn’t sleep. Hadn’t last few nights either. Not since they were rescued. She had tried, really tried. Especially after Maggie had woken up once from where she sat in a chair by her side to find Alex shaking and wide eyed. She hated the worried look that had filled the spaces on Maggie’s face, how the muscles around her eyes tightened, and the way her hands were unsteady as they rubbed Alex’s arms until the quivering eased. But even then Alex didn’t go back to sleep, at least not for very long. Not when blood and wolves and Cadmus waited for her on the other side of consciousness. She couldn’t take the risk when screams threatened to spilling from her mouth every time she slipped into sleep. It would give away everything that she was doing her best to keep bottled away from view. Because maybe if she pretended it wasn’t a problem it would go away.

Earlier in the day, Eliza had noticed the gray bags forming under her eyes. She had suggested the doctors give Alex something to help the pain so she could sleep better, but it just made the night worse. The drugs trapped her in labs with Lillian or in a never-ending chase where Henshaw carrying her sister always remained out of reach. Unable to wake up. A slave to the dreams.

But she finally escaped, pulled herself out of the clutches of the drugs. She lay on her bed, drenched in sweat, trying to overpower the echoes of Henshaw’s words or Kara’s screaming or wolves’ howls with the quiet sounds in the room. The hum of Kara’s ventilator. The beeps of the two heartrate monitors giving a staggered rhythm, sometimes syncing for a moment, but always separating as Alex’s heart raced and Kara slowly thumped.

But she couldn’t get the image of Kara writhing underneath Lillian’s or Jeramiah’s or her own hands. The screams and sadistic laughs like a song stuck in her head. It all looked so real. Sounded so real. She couldn’t get it out of her head.

Alex pressed her fingers to the stitched bullet wound on her shoulder, hoping maybe the pain would bring her back. Draw her out of the waking nightmares. It wasn’t working. If anything, the pain made it worse. She pulled her hand away from her shoulder when she felt the warm blood leak onto her finger tips. The sight of the crimson sent her reeling.

It wasn’t Kara’s blood. It wasn’t Kara’s blood. It wasn’t Kara’s blood. Her sister was safe. Away from the woods. Away from Cadmus.

But Alex wasn’t sure. Couldn’t trust herself. Couldn’t trust that what she was seeing now wasn’t a dream and her nightmares reality. They felt too real. Her body was reacting like they were real. She was hyperventilating, straining to keep herself quiet and not disturb Maggie and her mom. But she couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t lay there a second longer.

So she sat up, fighting through the dizziness and panic, and threw her legs over the edge of her bed. She stumbled across the space between her bed and Kara’s, pulling her IV drip and monitor cords with her. Alex had thought the two beds were close, but the gap seemed to sprawl endlessly. The distance to Kara insurmountable even as she dragged a chair as close as she could to the edge of the other bed and flopped into it. Even as she pulled Kara’s hand, covered in bandages, into her own.

All Alex wanted was to talk to her sister. To hear her voice. Her laugh. But she couldn’t have that no matter how much the silence hurt. Couldn’t stumble across that gap because it was a chasm, a gulf. Too deep and wide for her bridge.

Laying across the foot of Kara’s bed was her cape. They had left Kara uncovered except for a sports bra and shorts while they turned the sun lamps on so she could have as much exposure as possible. But they only turned the lamps on in shifts and now they were dormant and the room was dark and cold. And Kara never liked to sleep without a blanket. So Alex grabbed the red blanket turned superhero accessory and tucked it around her sister, pulling it all the way up to her chin just how Kara liked it. It was clean. Eliza must have washed it because it smelled of Kara’s laundry detergent, only subtly sweet so as to not overload Kara’s senses. Maybe the familiar texture of the Kryptonian fabric would provide her some comfort, some quantum of sensation cutting whatever oblivion she was left floating in. Or maybe she wasn’t trapped in nothingness but in dreams just like Alex had been, like the Phantom Zone. Either way Alex just hoped it helped, that the action wasn’t lost to Kara.

Alex could do more though. Do more to reach Kara. Throw out a line to her. She delved into her memories seeking out the earliest years in her relationship with Kara, when she had held her during nightmares and listened to the stories of Krypton and learned the language. How long had it been since she had last spoken Kryptonian? Since Kara had heard her mother tongue? Alex still caught Kara mumble the melodic language under her breath when frustrated or when she was on the edge of sleep. But no one ever spoke it back to her. At least not since they were teenagers.

So Alex began to speak, words staggering and falling from her lips gracelessly— her accent and pronunciation so off it would have made Kara laugh (or at least smile in that sad happy way Kara did when it came to anything to do with her long lost home)—but Alex didn’t stop. She talked and talked. Retelling as many stories and rhymes and histories as she could remember. And when those ran dry she reached for the songs, whispered lullabies Kara had only sung on Alex’s hardest night after break ups or failures at school or her fathers “death”. She sang them back, barely a whisper, following the gentle rhythm of the ventilator. (The irony was not lost on her that the things her sister had used to urge her to sleep all those years ago was the thing Alex hoped would wake Kara up). Her voice grew hoarse as time went on so she transitioned to humming, letting the melodies vibrate in the back of her throat.

Slowly, her head drooped down until it rested on the bed. Her cheek pressed against the hot healing skin of Kara’s burned arm. She still held on to Kara’s hand, still rubbing gentle circles over her knuckles. The nightmares could still be there if she let herself fall into unconsciousness. But with Kara so close, so physically present despite being mentally absent, maybe she could fight them. At least for tonight. Give herself one night not to be overwhelmed with guilt or fear or pain or self-hatred. Just one night. One night with Kara by her side. One night where she could pretend nothing bad had ever happened to the Danvers sisters and they were just sleeping after a long day spent together. One night.

Alex slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did you think? I tried to get the peaceful yet still have some angst but I don't know if I hit the mark  
> I'm struggling with thinking of angst stuff/scenes because I don't know my angsty emotional inspiration is running dry so if you have any idea/suggestions for that let me know so I can get inspired and give the next chapters so more juice.   
> also if you want to see anything in the danvers sister's recovery or have any questions please let me know I really love talking to you guys. I got a great response last chapter and look see I posted way fast so commenting really does help.  
> Thank you!


	26. Worried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another surprise update for you guys!  
> I know that things went a little crazy in the fandom tonight because of sdcc (I didn't watch any of the video and only got secondhand information so please don't come to me to talk about it because I'm trying to avoid all the drama since I use supergirl as a coping thing and seeing all that just ruins it for me) but hopefully that won't make you give up on this fic. Just remember that actors aren't their characters so you can still love the characters without loving the actors.   
> this scene is the Maggie scene and I don't know how many more major appearances she'll have so hopefully those of you that wanted to see her are satisfied with this  
> I didn't really edit this much because I'm tired but I still wanted to post it so if there are any major mistakes let me know  
> Enjoy!

Alex knew she was moving before she knew she was awake, but it wasn’t on her own accord. Someone else was moving her. Pulling her arm over the mystery person’s shoulder. Pulling her up. And away. Away from the warmth of the bed, the warmth of the body she had been pressed up against.  

Away from Kara.

Before even opening her eyes, Alex yanked her arm away. She couldn’t let them take her away from Kara. She had to stay. If she left someone could hurt Kara. Lillian or Henshaw or anyone could take her. Alex had to protect her.

So she threw her arms out in all directions until she heard an “oof” from her would be captor and the pressure pulling her away from her sister disappeared. She darted back to her chair, clinging to the arm. They couldn’t take her. She wouldn’t let them.

The room was still dark. She tried to focus her blurry vision on the groaning figure on the ground, but she couldn’t make out who it was. They slowly stood up, holding a hand to their face, and started moving towards her.

“Stay away from her,” Alex said, but she didn’t think they would listen. She was expecting a fight, even hoping for one. Maybe a fight was just what she needed. That always seemed to help her before. Clear her head. Make all the emotions just go away (at least for a while). So she got up on unsteady feet and raised her shaking fists. Prepared to battle it out, protect Kara, do what she had worked her whole life to do.

But the person surged forward before her sluggish reflexes could react. And didn’t attack, but wrapped their arms around her tense body.

“Calm down. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s just me. It’s just Maggie.”

And the fear drained away. Maggie ran her hands up and down Alex’s back. But the tension remained. Shoulder’s tight. Teeth clenched. Heart racing. This encounter wasn’t a fight, but she couldn’t stop the feeling that something was coming. Something was after her. After Kara.

“Can I get you back in bed?” Maggie finally asked.

Alex shook her head against Maggie’s shoulder. She had to stay with Kara. Make sure she was okay. Make sure that the nightmares weren’t real.

“You need to rest. You’re opening up your wounds. Please come lay down again.”

Alex tore herself away from Maggie and sat back down in her chair. “I’m fine.”

Exasperated, Maggie tried to gentle pull her back into a standing position, but she refused to budge. “Alex, please. You’re only hurting yourself more. Kara wouldn’t want that. She’d want you to focus on getting better. To sleep and relax and heal.”

She wouldn’t look Maggie in the eye. If she did she would have to admit she was right, that everything she was saying was logic. But Alex didn’t want to be logical. Nothing else was logical in her life. Not what she and Kara had been through. Not her fears that she barely kept from incapacitating her. Not that she had been raised to protect an alien who was invulnerable and yet seemed to find infinite ways of getting hurt. Logic really didn’t seem to apply. The only time things made any sense, when the world didn’t seem to be full of constant threats or nightmares or intrusive thoughts, was when she was close to Kara. She needed her even more than the pain meds pumping through her system.

“I just… need to stay here… I can’t…” Alex couldn’t seem to find the words, couldn’t verbalize the pull that kept her at her sister’s side.

Maggie sighed and then turned around. She was going to walk away, leave her alone. Alex had screwed up again. Pushed Maggie away again. She was a real mess up. Couldn’t have more than one relationship whether it was with her sister or girlfriend without ruining all the others. Without pushing them all away. It’s like she didn’t have enough love in her. Wasn’t capable of giving enough. Someone always had to suffer.

But then a rough noise startled her, making her involuntarily shy away from the sound. Maggie dragged a chair across the floor until it sat right next to Alex’s. She flopped down into it and leaned across the armrest to pull Alex into a hug, careful to not put pressure on any of her injuries.

“Then I’ll stay here with you,” she whispered, “But will you please try to sleep tonight. I know you haven’t been getting more than a couple hours a night.”

Alex nodded, melted into the embrace, but still clung to Kara’s hand. Maybe there was still some hope. “I’m sorry I worry you.”

“Alex you were gone for seven days. Cadmus took you and Kara went after you and then we lost you both. Vasquez kept me updated on everything and when they found the plane, they found blood and kryptonite and when she told me I almost threw up. I thought that I had lost you. I had only just got you. But Cadmus was still searching, so J’onn didn’t stop either. I cried when I heard that he had found you. For seven whole days. I didn’t know where you were or if you were alive. I don’t think I can ever be as worried as I was during that week.” She paused, but then continued before Alex had time to start feeling guilty for another thing that wasn’t her fault, “ I don’t think I’ll ever be more worried than I was that week. But I got through it. And I’ll get through this. And so will you. And so will Kara. The strength of you Danvers sisters is awe inspiring.”

Alex leaned her head into Maggie’s neck. “Thank you.”

With Maggie’s arms wrapped around her and Kara’s hand still clenched in her own, Alex drifted off to sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some more angst but also some hope sprinkled in there. Also a little shorter like I said before because I'm sort of doing short episodic scenes until the Thing happens.  
> what did you think? what do you think the Thing is? or if its obvious how do you think the Thing will happen? any ways you want it to happen? any scenes you want to see before the Thing happens? please let me know!  
> Thank you!


	27. The Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quick and short update. Unless someone wants to do see anything else this will be the last of the light episodic chapters and the Thing will be coming up next.  
> I hope you guys like some fun little interactions with more of the superfriends/fam  
> Enjoy!

James and Winn walked into the room loaded down with flowers and balloons and a giant teddy bear. They placed all the gifts on the table by Kara’s bed that was already so filled with “get well soon “ cards and flowers that they spilled out onto the medical equipment and floor around it.

“Didn’t you bring in stuff yesterday?” Alex asked from where she sat on her bed.

“Oh this isn’t from us, it’s from Cat Grant and Lena Luthor,” James said as he plopped down in a chair between her and Kara.

“Wait what? What did you guys tell them? You didn’t tell them Kara’s secret did you?” Alex asked.

“Nooooo we wouldn’t do that. We aren’t that stupid,” Winn said. His voice was muffled by the teddy bear that he clung to on his laugh, but he peaked over and gave her a smug smile. Alex glared back at him and sent him sputtering. “Well, w-when Cadmus… when you guys first went missing, James just covered for Kara saying that she was out chasing a story or sick or what else did you use? Family emergency? Apartment had been broken into? Jury duty—“

James interrupted Winn’s rambling, “But when J’onn found where you had crashed, we figured we would have to do something bigger. So we told everyone that Kara had been in a car wreck and was in the hospital. Winn and Vasquez forged any documentation or papers that we needed. Lena wanted to visit, but we told her that Kara was in the ICU so she couldn’t have any visitors. She seemed to buy, but Cat…”

“I think she knows Kara’s secret already,” Winn jumped in. “She kept asking what really happened. We didn’t tell her anything else, but she knows something is up.”

Alex looked between the two of them. Both seemed a little nervous, waiting for her reaction and hoping it wouldn’t be a violent one. But she was too tired to deal with their buffoonery, at least not at the moment. So she just sighed and let her head fall down into her hand. “I’ll contact her and get a read on the situation and then I’ll send her NDA forms if I need to.”

“No you won’t Agent Danvers. You are on bed rest and will stay that way until you are healed and well rested,” J’onn said as he entered the room.

Alex groaned. “I’m fine J’onn. It’s not like I’m planning on going into the field.”

“You won’t be doing that either. Just focus on getting yourself better. Not hurting yourself more. Or do I need to remind you how many time you’ve ripped your stiches in the last few days even just being in this room.”

She grimaced, looking down at her arm that was now confined to a sling to keep her from moving her shoulder. The night with Maggie hadn’t been the first time she’d reopened her wounds and not the last either.

“Don’t plan on doing anything work related until both Doctor Hamilton and I say you are clear. And you two,” he said, turning to glare at James and Winn, “Don’t either of you try to help her. She might threaten you, but trust me I can be much scarier than her if I want to be.”

Both boys shriveled in their seats. Alex had been on the receiving end of J’onn’s glares plenty of times and knew it was not a fun experience, so she decided to help them out by changing the subject.

“Hey where have you been going off to J’onn? I’ve only seen you around here like two times.”

He turned back to Alex. “I’ve been covering for Kara. We don’t need to let any criminals— both alien and human alike—that Supergirl is out of commission for a while. So I’ve been making some appearances. Nothing major.”

A sense of peace eased some of the incessant anxiety that flooded Alex’s mind. Everything would be there for Kara when she woke up. Her life could go back to normal (or as normal as it could be for a crime fighting alien). They could forget any of this happened and just move on. Forget the fear, the guilt, the pain. Just be normal again.

“Thank you. I know Kara will really appreciate not having the city thinking she abandoned them when she gets back out there. And, you know, keeping it all falling to anarchy.”

“Oh, oh oh! I had something to ask you,” Winn said. He slid over towards Alex. “So Kara’s supersuit… we had to scrap it. It was all burned and ripped and well you saw it. All that I could salvage was the cape. So I was going to make a new one. Would that be okay?”

Alex almost chuckled at his nervous posture. Before any of this had happened Winn probably would have done it without asking, but lately Alex had been very closely monitoring anything that had to do with Kara (and okay maybe she was micromanaging and being a little overprotective, but Kara couldn’t take care of herself so Alex had to do it for her).

“Of course you can, but don’t change the style too much. Kara loved it the way it was.”

Winn bounced with excitement. “Great! I’ll have it all ready for her when she wakes up.”

She smiled at his childlike antics. “You better hurry then. She's Supergirl for a reason. I’m sure she’ll wake up any time now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So was my attempt at humor bad or good? I really can't tell. I don't write a lot of funny stuff so this was different for me.  
> Again if there is anything you want to see coming up in the next chapters whether its between the Danvers sisters or one sister and another character please let me know and I'll see if I can work it into my plot and or use it as inspiration for my plans.  
> Thank you everyone that has been commenting and reading. I know that this isn't a well known fanfic, but any of the comments I get make me feel like a celebrity so thank you. I really appreciate everyone whether its just a "I liked this" or a detailed response and I read and cherish them all so thank you!  
> The next chapter will most likely start with a little more tension because of the Thing so be prepared!


	28. Back in Kansas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update is a little later than I said. My internet has been down so I finally gave and am using hot spot to post this.  
> so the thing happens in this chapter, are you guys ready for it? or the first part of the Thing (I'm sort of realizing that the thing is actually multiple things all connected to one big Thing and idk it's confusing to explain this way but it's going to be good)  
> anyways the angst train is pulling into the station so get ready to board because this chapter and then the next few are going to be rough  
> Enjoy!

Two months.

Eight whole weeks.

Sixty drawn out days, Alex spent waiting every hour, every minute, every second for her sister to wake up.

Alex had been cleared to leave the DEO after ten days, but she had only left for short periods, often to spend time with her mom or Maggie. But outside were too many people and sometimes there were helicopters that flew overhead or dogs that sounded too much like wolves. Leaving didn’t feel very safe. But staying at the DEO wore on her as well. Spending all her time for so long in the dull gray uniformity of the DEO made her feel like a prisoner, like the walls were closing in on her until they squashed her. The sound of boots against concrete always seemed to set her heart racing and make her hide away in whatever lab or room she found closest. And she was never alone. Someone was always watching her and checking up on her and asking if she was alright. The more they asked the more she wanted to explode, to disappear in a poof of repressed emotions. But she was keeping it together for Kara. Staying for Kara. Because Alex could not live in a world where she was not the first person to greet Kara when she woke up.

So she fell into a routine. The same every day. She would start the day off before the sun was fully up with a work out and physical therapy for her shoulder. She’d work and work for hours, letting her muscles throb and cry until she could think of nothing else. And that was exactly the way she liked it.

After a short cold shower and checking up on Kara and her vitals, she would hole herself up in her lab. She was determined to find a serum to help get Kara’s powers back quickly without all the problems the adrenaline caused. It was her way of doing something. Of helping Kara. Of not being a completely useless lump that sits around doing nothing and feeling too much. She hadn’t had much luck so far.

Only when someone dragged her away from the work did she stop. Usually it was to eat, sometimes in the lab or cafeteria with her mom or Winn or out somewhere with Maggie. Some days J’onn would ask for help with paper work or giving her opinion on a strategy for an operation. He didn’t want her back in the field yet, but he still needed help from his best agent. She would linger in his office and quietly work on the papers, keeping her thoughts clear of anything that might worry him. She knew what they were all doing. Trying to distract her. Trying to help her feel better, more normal. The effort was nice, but she preferred when they just let her be.

Eventually she would get tired, the numbers blurring together in her head so she could no longer remember if she already taken the derivative of that equation or if she actually needed to solve for cotangent. So she would finally retire to her room, still staying in the bed next to Kara. The room was still filled with gifts and flowers—old bouquets had been replaced with new ones before the old ones had even started to wilt. It was all a little too colorful for Alex’s taste, but she knew Kara would love it so she tolerated it.

She would plop down in a chair all bundled in a blanket and scoot as close as she could to Kara so she could hold her hand and start to read aloud. As the long days and nights dragged by, Alex poured through book after book. Alex had asked Maggie to pick some up from Kara’s apartment (she would have gone herself, but she didn’t think she could stand being there without Kara to fill it up with laughter and the smell of food and just her presence). The supply seemed to be endless; Maggie restocked it every time she came to visit.

Alex would read as long as she could until her voice was hoarse or her eyes refused to stay open and even then she would keep going. Choosing to read until her body gave out with exhaustion instead of facing the nightmares that always haunted her sleep. Sometimes one of her friends or family would come and sit silently. Onlookers but not really participants of the ritual, unable to enter the small world that only Alex and Kara inhabited. When it got late they would tell her to go to sleep usually making sure she got in bed before they left. But Alex would simply return to her vigil next to Kara and continue reading late into the night, sometimes straight through until the sun began to rise and people started to bustle around the DEO once more.

She had just finished the first Harry Potter (Sorcerer’s Stone had always been Kara’s favorite) and picked up the next book in the stack leaned against the wall between Kara’s and her bed. The Wizard of Oz.

Back when Kara was still a new member of the Danvers family one of her first favorite movies was the Wizard of Oz. The colors and songs and silliness encapsulated the lanky thirteen-year-old Kryptonian. It took longer for the attachment to the book to form; although she got a handle on the English language in a day the nuances of it evaded Kara for months making fiction difficult for her to wrap her mind around. But eventually, Kara came to love reading and read any book she could get her hands on. She practically read every book in the school library. But the Wizard of Oz became one of her favorites. Eliza bought Kara her own copy of it after Kara checked the book out for the ninth time in the few months she’d spent with them. Kara adored the little paperback. Almost weekly, Alex would have to search around the house when Kara had been silent for too long and find her huddled up in some nook wrapped around the worn book.

Alex had long suspected her sister’s attachment to the story was based in more than the fun characters and plot, but the deeper aspects. It was too much of coincidence that Kara, a girl who had been whisked away from her home to some strange world, loved the story about another young girl that found herself not in Kansas anymore but in Oz and who then goes on an adventure to find a way home and is actually successful and returns home to her family. It could be intentional or subconscious on Kara’s part, but Alex didn’t doubt the connection.

After taking a moment to resituate herself comfortable on the chair, Alex opened the book and began to read the familiar story. Kara wasn’t the only one who had read it often (though Alex had grown to love it because of Kara) and the words flowed from her lips like she had rehearsed them. She was sucked into the story and the chapters fell away with the hours. When the band of misfits arrived at the Emerald City, Alex finally stopped to take a breather.

She looked over at Kara. All but the biggest hurts had healed—not quickly like they would have if her powers had returned, but humanly slow leaving scars that should have never formed behind. Her skin was still pale, having not seen the real sun since escaping the wilderness, but not as gray and frightening as it had been. The tube still remained down her throat, helping her breathe. The doctors said her lungs were healing, but like everything else the process was slow.  

Kara might relate to Dorothy, but sitting there next to her sister Alex couldn’t help but feel like the family members that held Dorothy until she returned to them. How worried they must have been? How they must have desperately hoped she would wake?

Alex hadn’t let herself cry since they had been rescued, not even once, but she couldn’t stop the tears as they rolled down her cheeks in giant drops. She just wanted her sister back. She didn’t wipe away the tears from her face, letting them make trails like rivers until they waterfalled off her jaw.  A sob rose in her throat. She was almost too tired to keep the sound down, but she forced herself to be silent. No one needed to come running in to see what was wrong. No one needs see this lapse of control, the break from stoic to vulnerable. Her mom had been pushing her to talk about what she was feeling or go to the DEO shrink, but Alex always pushed back saying that she was fine. She’d worry about herself once Kara was better. After that Alex would sleep and eat and be happy, but right now she just could not get herself to do it all. Kara had to be her top priority.

Alex shut the book to keep her tear drops from falling on the pages. She lets her head fall onto Kara’s bed. Maybe she could just close her eyes for just a moment and the tears would stop and the constant exhaustion would fade and she could go back to reading and being almost normal. But as moment after moment slipped by, the steady beat of Kara’s heartrate and pumping of oxygen lulled her senses, and Alex found herself drifting off to sleep.

* * *

The bed quaked beneath her and a weight shoved her head over the edge. Alex almost toppled to the floor, but she grabbed the arm of her chair and caught herself. It was just another nightmare, another dream that felt too real. She was awake now, nothing could hurt her or Kara. But she could still feel the vibration and sounds, chaotic beeping, assaulted her ears. Was this real? Alex searched for the source with her sleep blurred eyes.

Kara.

Her sister thrashed and bucked violently on her bed. She gaged against the tube in her throat. And her eyes. They were wide open darting back and forth. Unfocused, glazed over, and filled with fear. And Alex didn’t blame her. Waking up in a strange place with a tube down your throat would be terrifying. She had to help her calm down before she hurt herself. Alex lurched into her field of vision.

Blue eyes locked onto hers.

And Kara flinched.

Jolted at the sight of her.

Shied away from her to the far side of the bed.

Alex stiffened, frozen in place. Her mind short-circuiting.  

Kara was afraid of her.  

Doctors rushed into the room, pushing Alex out of the way and pulling Kara’s attention. Good. Kara needed their help.

She just didn’t need Alex.

Alex unfroze and sprinted out of the room, trusting the doctors to calm Kara down and alleviate any pain she was in.  She ran and ran. From Kara. From her problems. From anyone who would try and stop her. But she couldn’t run from herself and that’s what really frightened her.

Through twisting halls, Alex descended into the depths of the DEO until she found a bare room in the sub-levels. She slammed the door shut behind her and slide down to the floor.

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t handle being. Tears flowed freely and this time she didn’t stop herself from sobbing.

Kara was awake.

Finally awake.

But she didn’t want to see Alex.

Had here dreams been real? Did Kara blame her for all the suffering she had been put though? Her worst fear had always been losing Kara, but she had never imagined it would be like this. Not after all they had been through.

The emotions wracked her body, everything she had bottled up finally escaping. Because there was no point in keeping it in. No point in being strong.

No point in living in a world where Kara didn’t want her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the calm in the eye of the storm has passed and we are back into the thick of it again. What did you think of that chapter tho? the plot twist? what do you think is going on with Kara? how is Alex going to handle it? How could I possible make the Danvers sisters lives any worse? (don't worry I have plenty of ideas)  
> please let me know what you guys want to see and what you think. I love your comments and they really help me want to update faster and write better.  
> Thank you!


	29. Implode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, here is a short update (I didn't edit it very hard so sorry in advance) to tie you over to the next. It was inspired by Melanie122802's comment so I hope you like it and I hope all of you like salt rubbed into your wounds   
> Enjoy!

Kara’s throat burned. Searing, scorching pain sliding down her windpipe like molten lava. She could feel the heat everywhere. Her blood boiling beneath her skin. Her body—almost on its own accord—fought against the pain, thrashing and throwing itself in every direction. But her limbs were heavy and sluggish and failed to move how she wanted. That only pushed her further into a panic. Was she still in the clearing, stuck in the inferno that blackened the grass and now ate at her body. She forced open her eyes, but bright lights and colors blinded her, making everything seem white and harsh and overwhelming. She couldn’t see. Couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.

A dark shape jumped at her. It had to be the source of the pain. The person hurting her. Lillian or Henshaw or—

Alex’s face slipped through the blurring shapes and became clear. She glared down at her, or at least that’s what it looked like for the moment before her face smudged back into only swirling color. But her intentions seemed clear. She was going to make the fire worse or maybe finally end it all. Just like before when she’d pressed the air from Kara’s lungs along with Henshaw.  

Kara jerked away, survival instincts kicking in. She tried to cry out. To beg forgiveness. To say she was sorry for everything. But the words were incinerated in the wildfire raging in her throat.

Alex didn’t move. Just stayed still and blurred into the disorienting background . Maybe she wasn’t trying to hurt her. But that didn’t seem right. Not after all Kara had done. Not after all she had put Alex through. Alex hating her was the only likely reality.

Because Kara didn’t deserve to be loved.

No matter how much she wanted to deny it, the world always proved that right.

She should have died with Krypton. But she lived even when her own House sentenced the planet and all its inhabitants to death.

And then she ruined the Danvers’ lives and killed the last true Kryptonians, her own family.

She was a murderer, just like her parents. She had shot that Cadmus operative back near the cabins without a second thought.

But Alex still didn’t move. And more dark shaped pushed around her, blocking her sister until she disappeared in the gray pulsing mass.

Even without her super hearing the shouting and screeching of machines surrounding her beat against her ears. Stranger’s hands touched her bare skin all over, sometimes feeling like almost nothing against numb flesh and others like sandpaper ripping into her. Kara squeezed her eyes closed against the swirling, sickening surroundings. It was all too much. Too much. Too much.

Was this Cadmus? Had they finally gotten to her? Started their experiments?

She cracked her eyes opened again to search for Alex. Selfish looking for comfort from her sister even if she wasn’t worthy. But when the dark shapes shifted, Alex was gone.

Alex had left her.

A fiery chasm split open through her chest. So loud the swarming figures must have heard it. But they showed no reaction, just continued to move and shout and torture her their hands.

Alex abandoned her. Like her parents. Like Kal. Like Astra. Like her friends.

The crack grew, spreading and setting aflame old hurts and pains. Lost life. Lost parents. Lost culture. Lost aunt. Lost baby cousin. Not even the furthest reaches of her weren’t caught up in the fire.

Alex left her alone. In pain. With these strangers. With Cadmus.

Deepening. Widening. Smoldering. Kara was fragile. One touch and she’d fall apart.

Kara knew she deserved this. But it was more painful than the pain in her throat. Than any Kryptonite or injuries she’d ever faced.

Alex was gone.

Kara had lost her sister.

Like a dying star, a supernova in the making, she collapsed inward against her own weight, her own gravity. And when it was all too much, she let herself implode.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'll answer the comments for the last chapter but I am still without internet and I've used up most my data scrolling through tumblr so it might be a bit before I get to them or post the next chapter (but I have it mostly written so there is at least that)  
> So was that angst enough for you Melanie122802 and everyone else? I think I'm better at action angst than this type of angst but I tried. let me know what you think or any tips you have for this type of thing or any ideas (because as you can see by this chapter I take them seriously and try hard to use them and they really help keep me writing)   
> Thank you for all your comments so far and the support for this work. It's really fun to write and to hear what you guys think of it!


	30. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow the 30th chapter. I totally did not plan to make this this long. It just ran away and dragged me along.  
> Well my wifi is back so here's the next chapter and it has what I think is the biggest Thing of all the things. and also this is just me twisting the blade i've plunged into all of your feelings but have no fear this is going to (most likely) be the darkest night point of the story and it should be uphill (battle but still getting better) from here, so don't get discouraged.  
> Enjoy!

Cold leeched its way up from the concrete floor through Alex’s body. She curled into herself, her shaking becoming more violent as shivering joined with sobbing.

She didn’t know how long she had been there, laying there like a pathetic mess, but it had been a while. Her careful vigilance against sleep was abandoned and she slipped in and out of nightmares. But for once they were a reprieve. When she dreamed, Alex could just remind herself that it wasn’t real, it wasn’t really happening. Because in her dreams Kara might be hurt or scared or confused or dead, but it was just a nightmare. Kara was safe. And while Alex dreamt, Kara never was afraid of her. Never hated her. Never flinched away. And when Alex wasn’t dreaming that’s all she saw. The way Kara so quickly pulled away from her. The fear in her eyes. The need to get away from her despite whatever pain she was in. The scene on repeat. Playing over and over and over and over again until Alex wasn’t sure if she would be capable of think of anything else.

No one had come looking for her. Or at least no one had found her yet. But she didn’t fault anyone for it. They all should be busy with Kara. Making sure she is alright and not alone. No one needed to worry about Alex or see this breakdown. Maybe no one would ever find her and she could just lay there forever, frozen and stiff against the concenter, and never have to face a world without Kara.

So she didn’t get up. Let the cold sweep through her body until her skin was tinged blue and all she could feel was numbness.

It could have been years later, when warm arms finally wrapped around her body pulling her up and hugging her close.

_What happened?_

Alex jumped at the voice in her head, piercing through dark twisted dreams and memories, but she didn’t answer, couldn’t form words when only sobs escaped her lips. But she didn’t need to. J’onn could see it all. The flinching. The fear. Alex’s shame.

He let out breath and squeezed her tighter. Trying to comfort her. But she didn’t want his comfort. Didn’t want his warmth or his sympathy. She didn’t deserve any of that. Not if Kara—the kindest, brightest, most selfless person in the galaxy—hated her. She tried to push herself out of his arms, but his grip was unyielding.

_Kara was just confused. She doesn’t hate you. She loves you._

_You don’t know that,_ Alex snapped back. She knew it couldn’t be true, no matter how much she wanted it to be.

 _Please, just come back upstairs with me and see her. She needs you. She’s… the doctors are trying to help her, but when it comes to Kryptonian brain functions they are out of their depth. She is going to need a lot of help._ Your _help._

Alex’s thoughts still pulsed in opposition, but she relented. For Kara’s sake. J’onn sensed her answer and pulled her up to her feet, steadying her when she swayed. Together they ascended back to the main levels of the DEO together. Alex wiped the tear stains from her face with her sleeve and hoped that any splotchiness would fade before someone saw her.

The halls around Kara’s room where bustling. Full of doctors and agents running from lab to equipment to who knows where. All trying to help Kara. They stopped to watch her and J’onn as they passed and Alex bristled under their gaze. She hated being a spectacle. But she marched on, letting the intimidating Agent Danvers façade replace any visible vulnerability and they dropped their gazes, returning to their work.

J’onn made to go into Kara’s room, but Alex darted into the adjacent observation room before he could tell her not to. As she stepped through the door, a body slammed against hers and arms wrapped over her shoulders, pressing heat against the ice the still crept through her veins.

“Where were you?” Maggie asked against Alex’s shoulder.

“I was… I had…” The right words wouldn’t come and her tongue was still frozen.

But Maggie seemed to understand and didn’t push for an answer. She released Alex but caught her hand, drawing her farther into the room filled with people. James. Winn. Even Lucy. And she was sure more would come. Everyone loved Kara and would want to visit.

Alex had known that there was one-way in her and Kara’s shared room, but she’d never used it or let anyone else. It hadn’t been necessary. Now she was glad for the thick glass, keeping her away from Kara. Kara didn’t need to be harassed by her fears.

Although Maggie brought her right up to the glass wall, Alex kept her eyes pinned to her feet. She didn’t know what she would see or if she even wanted to see it. But Maggie squeezed her numb fingers and J’onn placed a hand on her shoulder. They didn’t understand. Didn’t get what was going on. Alex barely understood it herself. But she had to at least pretend. For them.

The colorful gifts and flowers had been stripped from the room in the rush of doctors and equipment. Alex’s bed had been shoved to the side out of the way, leaving only Doctor Hamilton and Eliza to fill the room.

And Kara.

She was sitting up in her bed leaning against a heap of pillows, and the tube had been pulled from her throat and replaced with a nasal cannula tube. Doctor Hamilton paced circles around her, running tests and checking monitors. The motion seemed to set Kara on edge, she remained motionless and stiff. But Eliza was there to keep her calm, holding her hand and speaking words that Alex knew were comforting even though she couldn’t hear through the glass.

Just a few hours ago the sight would have been her most desperate wish, but now it was like the glass panel in front of her was warped and cracked. Ruining the view of her world, everything she loved and wanted and dreamed of. Even with the support of loved ones around her, she couldn’t fight the feeling. It was all off. Skewed. Wrong. And she didn’t know how to fix it, or if that was even possible. Could all the shattered pieces of her and Kara ever fit together the way they used to? Or would she just end up bloodying her hands trying?

Doctor Hamilton finished up her tests and after saying something to Eliza she stepped out and entered the observation room. Before anyone could say a word, she held up her hand to silence the group.

“She is healing nicely, though still at a human pace. Her lungs are getting stronger and there is no traces of kryptonite left in her blood—“

“You can skip to the bad parts. You don’t have to dance around it for my sake,” Alex said.

“Well… now that she’s awake I was able to get a measure of the scope of the damage from the stroke. There is nerve damage throughout her body. She has both increased and decreased sensitivity to touch on her arms and legs. She is suffering partial paralysis in her right arm and leg. Both of these issues can be solved with physical therapy and time,” she paused and waited for any questions, but everyone remained quiet in anticipation for her to get to the heart of the problem. “Her brain suffered a severe loss of oxygen and this caused damage which seems to inhibit some of her communication abilities. She does not respond to direction, but seems to understand some body language and tone of voice. She has not made any attempt to speak but that might be caused by reasons other than the stroke.”

She stopped as if unsure of how to continue. “You might want to take a seat for the rest?” she suggested to Alex.

But Alex was ready for the worse. Ready for the bomb to drop. She would take the brunt of it. Let it fall and decimate her. Waiting and sitting down and sweet words weren’t going to soften the blow. She didn’t deserve that kindness anyway.

Alex spoke through clenched teeth, bracing herself. “Just say it.”

Doctor Hamilton sighed. “Everything I’ve described, I believe Kara can eventually overcome. When her powers return, her body might heal itself as fast as a few days. But those are all physical things. Whether it’s her brain or her nerves or her lungs. They all can be healed with treatment. But what she went through, what you both went through, did more than physical damage. You both suffered psychological traumas. Alex you’ve presented symptoms of PTSD because some part of you still feels like you are in danger, still in the wilderness. Well Kara is still there… all of her. She’s in an almost catatonic state. I’m not a psychologist, but I believe that with all the external stresses her mind has closed itself off to protect itself from anymore damage. She woke up physically, but mentally she’s still asleep. With time and support she might come back, but I can’t be for sure.”

There it was.

The bomb.

And Alex felt every inch of the blast. But it didn’t burn. It was cold. Icy. Numbing. She couldn’t feel Maggie or J’onn’s touch anymore. She was so cold she thought maybe she had died. A walking corpse pretending to be living, while Kara’s body was alive and healing but her mind was dying. The irony only added to the frosty spirals forming in Alex’s lungs.

She deserved a lot. Pain. Loneliness. A sister that hated her.

But Kara, Kara deserved everything good in the world. Happiness. Love. Family. And it was all ripped from her piece by piece until even her sanity was taken.

How could the universe be so cruel? How could they take so much from the girl who had already lost an entire world?

“I’m sorry I can’t help more. I will keep you updated on any changes,” Doctor Hamilton said as she left the room, leaving them all in thick silence.

“You should go and see her,” Maggie whispered.

Alex shook her head. It wasn’t a good idea. But J’onn was there to tell her otherwise.

_She doesn’t hate you. All the doctors scared her. You just have to move slowly and speak softly and it’ll be fine. She needs you. And you need her._

A million reasons, most illogical if she thought about them though she would never admit it, came to her mind of why he was wrong and Kara didn’t need her and never would, but J’onn squeezed her shoulder and she knew she had already lost the argument.

Maggie walked with her out of the room, but stopped at the entrance to Kara’s room.

“I’ll let you guys have at least a little privacy.”

Alex wished she would stay with her and hold her hand. Give her some bit of warmth when everything felt so cold, so numb. But she needed to face this part by herself. Kara deserved her undivided attention. She could retreat to Maggie’s arms after.

Alex stepped through the door and Eliza’s eyes immediately darted from Kara’s to hers. She didn’t say a word, but worry poured from her lids. Alex knew she would have to explain what happened and where she was, but was relieved that at least for now she could escape the questioning.

Like approaching a spooked animal, Alex walked as slow and smooth as she could towards Kara’s bed. But Kara didn’t even look up. Her eyes remained fixed on Eliza’s hand as it held her own. Alex sat down in a chair next to her mom and examined her sister. She looked better with the tube no longer marring her face and a little bit of color had returned to her skin.

“She doesn’t like a lot of touching right now, but when I held her hand and rubbed circles over her knuckles like this she calmed down enough for Doctor Hamilton to finish her tests,” Eliza whispered. “You try it.”

Before Alex could protest, she moved Alex’s hand to replace her own. Alex was stiff, frightened that Kara would pull away and reveal her hatred to everyone watching. But Kara’s hand remained limply in her own, not really gripping onto Alex but not letting her go either. Pushed on by the recklessness of desperate hope, Alex began ghosting the calloused print of her thumb over the top of Kara’s hand. Just like Eliza had been doing. Just like Alex had done for years and years to calm her. A slight tremor went through Kara’s fingers, but still her hand clasped just so lightly to Alex’s.

Alex looked up and found Kara’s gaze had moved to her. Glazed blue eyes settled on her own, but this time Alex didn’t see any fear. She didn’t see anything. No emotion. No sadness. No happiness. Not Kara’s normal twinkle. Nothing. It was like Kara was looking straight through her. Her face was emotionless. Still. Un-Kara-like.

She hadn’t been like this before. Not when she first woke up. Alex had seen Kara. Kara had really been there. Full of fear and pain and everything. But then she had seen Alex. The guilt of being the cause of this all, for being the final push that took her sister over the edge, settled like an anchor at the base of her spine. Dragging her down, down, down, until she didn’t know how her chair could support her weight.

Slowly, Kara’s dead gaze moved back to their hands, the motion enough to encapsulate her. Making her not exactly happy but calm, satisfied for the moment.

Kara was awake. But she was still gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So are you all ready for some more comfort and less pain because I think I am. That's at least what I think I have planned for the last chapters (but I've said something like that before and then proceeded to write many more chapters but eh we'll see).  
> Any ideas or suggestions on how the danvers sisters are going to overcome this last obstacle? Anything you want to see? (remember it might inspire a chapter or scene) Anything you want to tell me so that I can write better or be more motivated? or if you want to just talk (which I am always down to do) just come and yell at me  
> thank you for reading!


	31. Separation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Everyone orbited around Kara. Someone always with her. When James had to leave, J’onn was there. Before Winn usually came around, Lucy was at her side. Just visiting. Talking to Kara even though she never responded. Never answered. Never smiled or laughed or did anything but stare blankly. But everyone did their part in keeping company, in trying to bring her back.

Eliza took on the brunt of the work. She fed Kara and helped her stay clean and worked with the doctors to help Kara with physical therapy. There wasn’t much success on that front either. Kara’s couldn’t do the exercises by herself, but she still didn’t like to be touched. It scared and hurt her. She fought against any of the doctors that tried to guide the sessions. Sometimes Eliza would be able to calm her down enough that Kara would allow someone to help with some of the movements, but it never lasted long.

As the longs days wore on and Kara made no real progress, Alex could tell everyone was getting discouraged. Tired. Their visits with Kara were less animated. Conversations with others were riddled with more frustration than laughter. Without Kara there to lighten their lives everything was cast in shadow.

And Alex watched it grow darker and darker from afar. She left the DEO far more often now, spending most nights with Maggie at Alex’s apartment. When she did return it was to work in the lab or help J’onn with paperwork. Nothing else. She never visited Kara. If Alex had been the cause of Kara shutting herself off than being around wouldn’t help her open up again. So she stayed away as much as she could. On her weakest days when nostalgia for sister’s nights or lingering nightmares clung to her, she would find herself in the observation room, watching Kara but not allowing herself to get any closer. The separation between them was caused by more than a pane of glass anyway.

That didn’t stop her mom and Maggie and J’onn from pushing her to visit Kara. Like being on the other side of the glass would make everything better. Bring Kara back. Make the fear and self-loathing that sloshed beneath Alex’s skin disappear. Bullcrap.

But they were just worried about her. So afraid for her and of what she was letting herself become, what they saw through her cracking façade of strength. She could see the worry pour from their eyes every time she caught them watching her and it dripped from every word they offered. She couldn’t except any of it though. Not when thinking and talking about what she was feeling and about Kara hurt worse than letting work and numbness consume her.

And besides a few slip ups of emotion here or there, Alex was doing well at keeping it all caged away. Except at night. When the nightmares slid over and under and through her protective walls. She had been getting better, even gotten to the point where she would only ever startle awake silently and then read for the rest of the night, never waking or bothering Maggie. But the dreams were getting worse each day. And she was too tired to stay awake and avoid them. She couldn’t stop them. The wolves biting at her heels and helicopters flying overhead and agents dressed in black surrounding her and Kara was hurt and gone and never coming back and Maggie left her and J’onn and Eliza are disappointed in her and Kara hates her and—

Maggie shook her until the nightmare released its grip. Alex sat up in bed, pulling her legs to her heaving chest while pushing away the delirium of sleep. Maggie reached over to her bedside table and grabbed a cup of water. She offered it to Alex who took it with shaking hands and drained the glass in big gulps. They sat in silence until Alex finally got control of her breathing.

“Will you tell me about them? The nightmares?” Maggie whispered. “I know you have them every night even when you try to hide it.”

But Alex wouldn’t even look at her, didn’t look at the pleading eyes she knew bore into her. She couldn’t, wouldn’t open that flood gate, not when she didn’t know if she would ever be able to stop what poured out. It would empty her until there was nothing left, nothing left but hollowness.

“They aren’t going to just go away. You can’t keep pretending that everything is fine. You’re not fine,” Maggie said after waiting several moments for an answer.

“I AM fine.”

Maggie laughed, fake and rough, “Yeah right, because barely sleeping or eating or doing anything but work is fine.” She continued, her tone softer, “Alex please, just talk to me. You’ve helped me through things before, now let me help you.”  
               Alex hugged her legs tighter to her chest. It would be so easy to let it all out. Spill her guts in front of Maggie. But she couldn’t. She had to keep it in. Self-contained. Like she had done almost her whole life.

“I’m sorry. I’ll stop worrying you so much. I’ll be better. You have work tomorrow and I woke you up. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Alex choked out. Forcing herself to keep everything else that threatened to fall off her tongue inside.

Maggie scooched closer and wrapped her arms around Alex’s side. “Don’t worry about me. Just think about yourself. Be selfish for once in your life. It’s okay. You aren’t a failure because you have to get help from someone else. Eliza said that you’ve done this ever since you thought your dad died.”

“You talked to my mom about me?” Alex asked, pulling herself out of Maggie’s arms and off the bed.

“We are just worried about you,” Maggie tried to assure her as she stood up to face Alex.

But that only lit Alex’s temper which seemed to have a shorter and shorter fuze lately. “Is J’onn in cahoots with you two as well?”

“We’ve all talked a bit about how to help you—“

“Well you can stop. I have it handled. There is nothing to be worried about,” Alex said, her voice too loud and wobbly and out of control. She knew it wasn’t helping to prove her point.

“You don’t have to do this all by yourself,” Maggie shot back.

“I just want to be left alone,” Alex screamed.

Maggie flinched and sat back down on the bed, reminding Alex too much of Kara. The fear that had been in her eyes now paralleled in Maggie. Maybe a different flavor of fear, but still fear. And now she had screwed it up with Maggie too. Screwed up everything in her life. Again.

Alex turned away, grabbing her work clothes, and started to change out of her pajamas.

“What are you doing?” Maggie asked but Alex was already out of the room. She pulled on her boots and grabbed her keys.

Maggie followed her to the door. “Alex please don’t go.”

“I’m—I’m sorry. I have to go work on something… anything. I’m sorry,” Alex said, not looking at Maggie. At the hurt her words caused displayed on her dimpled face.

Without another word, she closed the apartment door between her and Maggie.

* * *

She hadn’t meant to go to the observation room. Really. She had planned on going to the lab. But once she stepped foot in the DEO she couldn’t go anywhere else. Kara’s gravity still had enough pull on her to draw her in.

So Alex sat down on one of the chair on the other side of the glass and watched Kara. Guarded her from a distance. It felt good to be there for Kara in the one way she could without hurting her. Alex flicked the microphone on so that she could hear Kara’s steady breathing still aided by oxygen tubes and then eased into her vigil. Watching for any signs of dangers even though they were in the DEO and logic told her Kara couldn’t be safer. Logic rarely won agreement in her head lately.

But no one came and nothing happened and Alex felt herself lulled by the peacefulness. It was still late and even though she hated sleeping, her exhausted body overpowered her will and she slipped into sleep.

 

Through the mists of the nightmares, something smacked her. Something real. Something tangible enough that she could pull herself up out of the hallucination she was drowning in.

Kara.

She cried out, voice hallow as it was echoed through the mics.

Alex jerked out of sleep, pressing herself against the glass. Behind it, Kara twisted in her sleep, caught in her own nightmare. And there was no one there to comfort her. Eliza must have gone to get some rest somewhere else. Kara was alone. And Alex’s resolve snapped. She had to go in there. Kara couldn’t be alone.

But someone beat her to it. A doctor she had seen around the DEO before stepped into the room. Alex couldn’t remember his name. It didn’t matter. She watched as he moved to Kara, unsure of what to do. He reached out to comfort her, putting his hand on her arm. Kara cried out louder at the touch. Her eyes sprang open as she yanked herself away from him in a panic.

Alex moved faster than her own thoughts, crossing the threshold, storming into Kara’s room with no hesitation. Only anger and fear to push her forward, staining her vision red. The doctor stopped touching Kara kept his hands hovering over her shaking form, still trying to comfort her but only making it worse. Alex grabbed a fistful of his shirt and shoved him across the room. He landed against a table, knocking it and himself to the ground.

Ignoring him, Alex turned to Kara. The red leeched away from her eyes at the sight of Kara curled up on her bed. Panicking. Barely breathing. Eyes clamped shut. Again, Alex didn’t think, only acted. She had helped Kara through panic attacks before, knew how best to do it. She wrapped Kara into a hug, pushing the blonde’s head against her chest.

“It’s okay. Breathe with me. In. Out. In. Out,” Alex whispered.

Kara slowly started to relax, her breathes evening out and the tremors weakening.

But the doctor placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder, “Agent Danvers I’m sorry. I didn’t—“

The red overwhelmed Alex again. Letting go of Kara, Alex threw his arm off her. He held his hands up in surrender, but she couldn’t see it. She could only see was Cadmus operatives and guns aimed at her and woods and danger for her and Kara.  So she pounced on him, letting her fist fall on any surface they could. He groaned under her attacks and tried to get away, but Alex wouldn’t let him.

Wouldn’t let him hurt Kara again.

Hands caught her fists and pulled her off him. Alex flipped around to face her new enemy, but froze when she saw him.

Henshaw.

Here to hurt Kara again. Take her away.

Alex threw herself against him, putting herself between him and Kara.

_Alex stop._

She froze again. Confused.

J’onn?

No it was just a trick. A way to get to Kara.

Henshaw tried to grab her, but she darted away, back to where Kara lay still shaking.

More people rushed into the room, but Alex couldn’t see their faces. Only hear the pounding footsteps and the blur of bodies approaching her. And she needed to stay focused, protect Kara, but now she was the one who couldn’t breathe. Her lungs giving out on her at the same time her legs quit.

She collapsed into a ball at the base of Kara’s bed, throwing her hands around her head to protect from the approaching figures and hands reached for her.

But someone hugged her, gripping her tighter as she sobbed and quaked uncontrollably. Anchoring her. Holding her head above the waves until the ocean of panic started to still. It was only then that she heard the whispers. Two voices. Maggie and Eliza.

“You’re alright. You’re safe. Kara’s safe,” they chanted together until the shaking stopped and air finally filled Alex’s lungs.

She opened her eyes and looked around the room seeing only friends and family not the wilderness and Cadmus agent.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped out.

“It’s okay Alex. You didn’t mean to,” Eliza said as she and Maggie pulled her to her feet.

She leaned against them both heavily, but searched the room for J’onn and the doctor. They stood far from her, giving her space to recover without triggering her again.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Are you alright?” she asked.

“I’m fine,” J’onn said, blunt but still doused with affection.

The doctor was nursing a bloody nose, but he still tried to reassure her. “It’s okay, no broken bones. Only some bruises. But you… she let you touch her. She hasn’t let anyone do that. At least not that much.”

They all looked over to Kara. She was awake, still shaking and cowering in her bed. Eyes still dull and glazed.

But he was right. Kara had let Alex hold her. Let her get closer than anyone else had.

Alex didn’t know how to process that information. What it meant. What she would do about it.

Eliza seemed to recognize her turmoil and took charge of the moment. “Well since no one is hurt, let’s let Kara get back to sleep,” she dismissed the general assembly and then turned to Alex and Maggie, “I’ll stay with Kara tonight and get her to calm down again. Maggie, can you take Alex home?”

Maggie nodded and started to guide Alex out of the room with the mass exodus. Alex didn’t fight, didn’t do anything but let Maggie pull her out to the garage and into her car. The lights of the city blurred as they drove to Alex’s apartment, but Alex didn’t take it in, too lost in her own head.

Kara let her hug her.

Kara hadn’t pulled away.

Kara was still gone, but maybe she wasn’t lost forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some more angst but a dash of hope. so good right? What do you think? Sorry if the second half felt rushed. I wasn't sure how to fix it. Also hopefully none of the character felt too OOC but if they did tell me because I'll do better in the next chapters.  
> What do you think is going to happen? What do you want to happen? I have the remaining 4 chapters outlined so if you want to see anything or get anything else from this fic please please please let me know so I can add it in. basically speak now (or before I post the last chapter) or forever hold your peace.  
> I know I'm not done yet but I just wanted to say thank you for reading this whether you were a silent reader or an active commenter I really appreciate the support I got. You guys are the best and I'd still love to here from any of you if you want.  
> Thanks!


	32. Changing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are changing........  
> Enjoy!

A soft knock on the lab door jolted Alex from her concentration and she slammed her face down into her microscope. Rubbing at the red spot above her eye where she knew a bruise would form, Alex called out, “Come in.”

Eliza, Maggie, and J’onn filed into the room, the later leaning against the lab table while the two women pulled chairs over and sat next to Alex. All seemed tense and unsure.

“Is Kara alright?” Alex asked. She hadn’t been in to see Kara since the last night’s events. Too afraid to try to reach out to Kara again. It could have just been a fluke. She couldn’t handle the rejection. Not with the slow spread of hope filling and lifting her up like hot air in an air balloon.

“Yea. It took a little bit to get her to relax again, but eventually she fell asleep. She woke up this morning the same as usual,” Eliza said. “But that’s what we wanted to talk to you about. Kara… she’s…”

J’onn took over when Eliza struggled get the words out. “Kara isn’t getting better. During these past few weeks that she has been awake, we haven’t made any progress with her, physically or mentally. I think that it’s time she left the DEO. We aren’t doing her any good here. She should be somewhere she can be more comfortable and rebuild some form of a life even if it’s never close to what it was before.”

“We want to bring her to Midvale,” Eliza finished.

It felt like the floor had been ripped out beneath her feet. Change. Something different. Something she hadn’t planned for. Hadn’t prepared for. Alex felt her mouth opening and closing on its own volition, but she had nothing to say. Completely unsure on how to react.

Maggie noticed her confusion and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. “They want you to go too. Help Eliza take care of Kara when she has to be at work.”

Alex let it all sink in. Going to Midvale. Taking care of Kara. Being there for her. The idea was more appealing than she could admit. She wanted to agree, desperately to say yes. But the ever-present guilt and loathing dragged the words back down her throat. She couldn’t help Kara. She’d only make everything worse. It would be better if she didn’t go. Better for Kara. But the eager faces that watched her carefully, searching for a reaction, wouldn’t believe that. She needed an excuse.

Turning to Maggie, she said, “But what about you? I couldn’t just leave you here.”

Maggie chuckled quietly, sadness seeping into the happy sound. “Separation makes the heart grow fonder. And this is family. It’s important. I can’t keep you from it.”

It was important. But that’s why she couldn’t go. She had to stay away from Kara. Keep herself from hurting her again. “But the DEO? My job?”

“After what happened last night I’ve realized I let you come back to work to soon. You need more time to recover. You’ve been put on leave and have been assigned one of the DEO therapists. You will have Skype sessions with them twice a week. Until they sign off on your case you will remain on leave,” J’onn said, his voice professional and firm. Before Alex could argue he added in a much softer tone, “Don’t fight me on this. Please.”

And just like that she was out of reasonable excuses. But she still couldn’t go. Couldn’t do it. Couldn’t hurt Kara. Couldn’t—

“Breathe,” Eliza urged, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Her breathing was fast. Hyperventilating. Lungs overworking without her even noticing it. She took a full, controlled breath and slowly let it out. Everyone remained silent until Alex was breathing normally again.

Eliza reached over and put her other hand on Alex’s far shoulder, shifting her body so she fully faced her. “Alex, I know this is hard, but last night she opened up to you. She _needs_ you. Without you there… I don’t think she can get better without you. ”

The words pulsed through her. Sparking up the hope again. Pumping it up and down her veins. Spreading. Spreading. Spreading.

For the first time since Kara had opened her eyes, Alex gulped down the guilt that hounded her, overwhelmed her.

For Kara. For Kara. For Kara. The words resounded in her head like a battle cry. Edging her forward, into action.

“When do we leave?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this is short. I was going to add more, but the other parts of that I had planned for this chapter started to do their own things so I decided to split it into three. The 2nd half is already written so it'll be up soon.  
> Also a disclaimer (sort of?) I started writing this story because to me so many danvers sister fics that were angsty and stuff seemed to all do the same things and have the same tropes (captured and tortured in cadmus' labs by lillian and then escaping and working to get Kara's powers back) and I wanted to do something different while still keeping the essence of that type of whump story so there are some things I won't be lingering on because I feel like they have been done enough times in past fics and I want to do something different. Hopefully you guys don't mind and like it anyway  
> What do you think of these changes? A little unexpected maybe, but trust me I have a good plan. But what do you guys think will happen/want to happen? I aim to please so let me know.  
> and THANK YOU all that have left such nice comments they make my life infinitely better and I love you all!


	33. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short transition chapter  
> Enjoy!

Kara didn’t notice them enter. She didn’t notice anything more than she ever did. White walls. Blurry shapes. Fuzziness at the edges of her vision. Faraway sounds. Monotonous. Dull.

Unending.

But something touched her. Dragging rough hands over her back and underside of her legs. She pulled away, but her body didn’t react. It never did. Or at least she didn’t think it ever did.

Had she ever been able to move? Been anywhere, but this spot? It didn’t feel like it, but she couldn’t tell.

She thought for a moment that the feeling was gone, the hands had disappeared into the nothingness. The fighting made it stop. It always made it stop and go away and leave her alone. But then the arms lifted her up out of her bed and blankets, drawing her out of the only comfortable sensation she had. With stiff limbs, she pushed against the arms tearing at her skin and the chest she was pressed against, but the grip didn’t release.

Why wasn’t it stopping?

She wanted it to stop. It was too much. Too much sensation, too much movement. She wanted the nothingness back.

Soothing sounds trickled through her ears.

Words maybe? A voice?

She couldn’t pick them out. Never could. Just sounds. No meaning. Nothing to understand. But it was calming. Familiar. It echoed and washed over her and she couldn’t help but relax. Focusing on the sounds instead of the uncomfortable touching.

The arms swung her gently through the air and Kara started to feel nauseous, but thankfully the they dropped her into an unfamiliar chair. Within seconds she was covered and surrounded by a soft familiar texture. Blankets.

She liked those right?

Before the tension could drip away and the dullness return, everything began moving. The chair rolled beneath her. She moved away from her bed and for the first time she saw something other than white walls. Long hallways. Glass and concrete. Bodies moving walking all around her.

Who were they? Where was she?

Kara squeezed her eyes shut and shied away from them, trying to hide, make herself smaller. But the voice restarted and drew her out of hiding. Warm, soft tones telling her she’s safe. It was all okay. She drifted into a daze, with only the darkness of her own eyelids and the voice to cement reality.

The motion stopped abruptly and arms wrapped around her body again. But the calming voice remained. Quiet but firm enough to pull her full focus. The next thing she knew she was on yet another surface with her soft blankets around her again.

Kara opened her eyes and everything had changed. No longer was she surrounded by white walls, but strange surfaces and colors were everywhere. She couldn’t tell what anything was or where one thing ended and another began. She slammed her eyes closed. A roaring sound ripped through the air, blasting over the soft voice and vibrating up through her chair. And it didn’t stop. It kept going, the shaking and sounds getting worse and worse. Her hands found their way to her ear, but she couldn’t get them to work enough to block the noises.

But the voice returned, cutting through the painful sensation and fear. So soft. A balm for her anxiety. Melodic. Familiar. Like she knew, but couldn’t pinpoint. Old, childish, tones that tugged on something inside her.

Where had she heard it before?

It hurt her head to search for the answer, so she just let herself sink into the sound.

When she finally felt safe enough, Kara opened her eyes. The strange shapes and colors were still there and changed as everything continued to shake, but it was less scary than. The voice was there so she was safe.

But there was something else. Someone sitting next to her. Her lips moved in tandem with the voice. It was her’s. But who was she. Kara knew her. She knew she did. Short hair. Dark eyes. Slight frown. So familiar. So… so…

Slowly, the woman moved her hand and reached for Kara’s. Kara waited for the fear that always coursed through her at every touch, but it didn’t come.

Had someone ever been able to touch her like this before?

Her mind couldn’t remember, but muscle memory finally gave her an answer: yes. This was right.

But not enough. She wanted more. To feel more.

Kara willed her body to move, but like always it rebelled against her and refused to stretch her arms towards her companion. The woman noticed her effort and moved closer hesitantly. Kara leaned into her. Arms wrapped around her in a loose hug and although sometimes the brush of fabric or skin against her wasn’t pleasant, the overall feeling was worth it. She felt nice… maybe happy though she wasn’t sure.

But she knew that it was good. This was good. This woman was good. And although there were still too many question pulling on her mind, with the answers right there in front of her but indecipherable, Kara knew that with this woman holding her, she was one step closer to figuring it all out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the next update probably won't be until next week so sorry but I'm super busy (when am I not?) but I will get it out as soon as I can and then there will only be two(?) more chapters after that unless the plot grows a mind of it's own again or some suggestions something that I just have to devote another chapter.  
> what did you think of Kara's PoV? effective at showing her mindset without being too annoying? there is going to be more and more of her as things start to progress so let me know how you think I can do it better  
> also I'm still down for any suggestions or ideas please let me know if you want to see anything  
> Thank you!


	34. Traveling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp here's another sort of unplanned chapter (though the last part was sort of planned but a lot of my plans are fluid so everything is changing) A big thank you to one of my favorite commenter TowandaBRA for the suggestion for this chapter. I hope you guys like the perspective flop of these scenes and don't think they are too repetitive because I like em so I'm keeping em  
> Enjoy!

Alex didn’t think she could do it.

She couldn’t get Kara through this. Her sister got scared at the smallest sounds and touches, traveling across the DEO compound would be a nightmare for her. But Eliza, Maggie, and J’onn practically begged her to be there, to comfort Kara through the trip. She was the only one that could do it, they told her. Alex would never admit it, but all three of them teamed up against her made a formidable foe. Even with her renowned stubbornness, she felt her resolve wavering. But in the end it wasn’t them that made her agree to it. It was Kara. If anyone deserved her help no matter how many times she had to try it was Kara.

So when J’onn lifted Kara up out of her bed and the thrashing and crying out began like it always did when some touched her, Alex was there. Speaking to her. Reassuring her. Like she had done when they were kids. Like she had done during Kara’s coma, before she woke up and everything changed and the guilt that always pooled around Alex flooded above her head. But with Kara looking so desperate and scared, all of that was forgotten. Her entire focus on soothing Kara.

Yet with all her effort, Kara still weakly fought J’onn’s grip. Alex's heart thundered in her chest, but still she desperately continued to speak quietly to Kara. They had to get her into the wheelchair, but they couldn’t do it if she wouldn’t stay still. She was going to get tangled in her oxygen tube or hurt herself and what Alex was doing wasn’t working. It wasn’t enough. She wasn’t enough. She couldn’t do it. She failed—

Pulled from her spiral, Alex noticed Kara had gone still. Had she passed out? Was she still breathing? Alex moved closer, getting a better view. Kara’s eyes stared blankly back at her. Still and calm.

“Don’t stop,” J’onn whispered as he began to move Kara to the wheelchair.

And Alex didn’t. If anything, she grew more confident. Letting her words calm herself as they held Kara together. Even with the soothing words, Kara still seemed uncomfortable. She shifted in the chair awkwardly. But that was something that Alex knew how to remedy. She pulled the soft blanket off Kara’s bed and spread it across Kara’s lap, pushing it tightly around her so it wouldn’t slip. Immediately Kara’s hands gripped the fabric, rubbing her fingers over the smooth texture and her body eased more naturally into the chair.

J’onn began wheeling Kara out into the hall towards the garage. They didn’t take the most direct route, hoping to avoid most of the foot traffic. Still they frequently passed agents. Alex noticed every time Kara jolted away from a passing form, reminding her too much of the moment that riddled her nightmares. But she kept speaking, keeping her voice quiet and smooth and calming. It seemed to help Kara enough that as they got closer and closer to the garage, that she barely reacted anymore. She almost seemed to fall asleep.

Soon they arrived in the parking garage and rolled up next to Eliza’s car and a DEO van. Maggie, Winn, and James were going to follow the Danvers to Midvale in the van, bringing along equipment like sun lamps for Kara with them. J’onn, sadly, had to stay and keep the DEO running and National City safe, but everyone else was packed and ready to go. They were only waiting on Kara.They all sat silently in the vehicles. No one was sure how Kara would handle being in a car or driving, but they hadn’t be sure if she could even make it out to the garage so Alex was hopeful.

Kara could do this.

Together they could do this.

Again, J’onn lifted Kara, but this time she didn’t fight. Once he had gotten her comfortably situated in the back seat of Eliza’s car, Alex transferred the blankets again to Kara’s lap. He went about getting the oxygen tank situated behind Kara’s seat and the wheelchair collapsed and into the trunk. Alex left him to it, darting to the other side of the car and sliding into the seat farthest from Kara, giving her space. J’onn moved to the window and signaled that everything was ready. Eliza turned to look at her girl’s in the back seat, searching for any problem that would keep them from leaving. But Alex just nodded to her mom as she continued to speak soothingly to Kara. The new environment seemed to scare her, but with Alex there she didn’t cry out or thrash. Taking that as her cue Eliza started the car and began navigating out of the garage.

But Kara’s shaky composure suddenly dissolved. Her face crumpled in pain and clenched fists smacked against the sides of her head, trying and failing to cover her ears. Alex moved closer hoping her words would cut through Kara’s panic, but it wasn’t working. She caught Eliza’s attention in the rearview mirror, Alex’s own panic beginning to show through any semblance of collectedness she attempted to plaster onto her face.

“Just keep trying,” Eliza urged.

She was right. Alex couldn’t give up. They had gotten this far. It would be such a waste to have to take Kara all the way back to her room in the DEO. But what could Alex do that she hadn’t already tried? With Kara being so uncomfortable with the new bombardment of other stimuli, touch wasn’t a very good option and her eyes were sealed shut so showing her something wouldn’t work either. Alex’s only tools were words and they weren’t working anymore. But… maybe she could change how she delivered them.

Quietly she began to sing the Kryptonian lullabies Kara had taught her. The same ones she had sang to an unconscious Kara all those weeks ago and even further back when they were still just kids helping each other fight through their nightmares.

The effect on Kara was almost instantaneous. Her hands stilled and dropped to her sides. She turned rigidly to face Alex with calm, vacant eyes. Maybe now, if she was feather light, Alex could try and touch her. Kara was a tactile person and Alex knew that it was the best method get her to completely relax. Or at least that was what Alex told herself was her reason for trying. It wasn’t at all because she desperately needed Kara’s touch to ease her own anxieties.

Slowly, she moved closer to Kara and reached for her hand. Alex waited for Kara to pull away, to begin panicking again, but she didn’t. And Alex relished the warmth of Kara’s hand in her own. Kara moved and Alex flinched, plummeting into disappointment after her hope had skyrocketed. But it wasn’t away from her. She reached _towards_ Alex. Too afraid to believe what she was seeing, Alex almost couldn’t move, but eventually her courage built up enough that she slide closer to her sister.

Kara practically dove into Alex’s arms. Graceless and sweaty from the panic. But Alex couldn’t care less. She let her arms find their way around Kara’s body, not holding her too tight in fear of hurting her. She could almost imagine everything was how it had been before. This was just the Danvers sister’s cuddling like usual and not the first real hug they had shared in months. Alex couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. It didn’t matter if Eliza saw. Nothing else mattered.

Kara was alive and healing and in her arms. Not at Cadmus. Not dying. Not running away in fear of her.

Everything wasn’t perfect, but with Kara pressed close to her side, breathing evenly and falling asleep, Alex could easily pretend it was.

* * *

 

It was evening by the time they got to the Danvers’ residence. Getting Kara into the house was much easier than getting her out of the DEO. She was fast asleep and barely squirmed in James’ arms. Following Eliza, he carried her up into her old room while Alex trailed behind with the oxygen tank. Winn set up a video system that would let Alex and Eliza keep an eye on Kara without being in the same room with her at all times. While he connected the video feed to a small tablet, Alex, James, and Maggie brought in all the sun lamps and other equipment Doctor Hamilton had sent with them.

By the time all the work was done, pizza that Eliza had ordered had already arrived. They all ate together, but the conversations were subdued over the dinner table. Alex and Eliza could barely keep themselves from checking the tablet to see if Kara was still asleep every few minutes. The other noticed, but didn’t mention it, not blaming them for being nervous.

When they had finished eating, it was time for farewells. The boys and Maggie had work in the morning and needed to head back to National City. They all exchanged hugs before the three headed outside. Alex followed them onto the porch and caught Maggie’s hand. James and Winn kept going, letting them have their moment in private.

Alex kissed her gently and then smothered her in a hug. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”

Maggie sighed in her arms. “Me neither, but this will be good. You need some time just with your family and I’ll be back here to visit next weekend.”

Alex nodded against her shoulder, not wanting to let her go.

But Maggie pushed away slightly so she could look at Alex directly. “Just because I won’t be here doesn’t mean you can close yourself off again. I’m here for you... Can you promise me something?”

Alex nodded again, but remained silent.

“I want you to call me every time you have a nightmare. Whether it’s to talk about it or just to talk you out of whatever spiral you find yourself in. It doesn’t matter if it’s three in the morning and I have to be at work at five. I don’t care. I just want you to get better and you won’t unless you let someone help you.”

Alex deflated. It would be hard, but she couldn’t say no to Maggie. “Okay, I will.”

Maggie smiled a little and hugged her once again before turning to join the boys, leaving Alex alone on the porch. Alex waved at them as the van pulled away and watched as the van turned off of the driveway and disappeared.

Alex reentered the house and helped Eliza clean up before heading to bed. The trip and her anxiety had exhausted her, and she was so glad she could sleep in in the morning. Her room was adjacent to Kara’s so she quickly changed into pj’s before going to check on her.

Kara was still asleep, snoring quietly in tandem with the pumping of her oxygen. It was nice to see her there, snuggled in the bed she had used growing up. It made her look smaller, younger. Like it had turned back time. If only. But Alex didn’t let herself linger on those thoughts. It wouldn’t help anything.

Impulsively, she reached down and caught Kara’s hand. She still couldn’t believe Kara had let her hug her, hold her. The love and comfort that burned through the touch still warmed her even hours later. Somewhere along the line, Alex had forgotten that she loved hugs (at least from those she loved) just as much as Kara did. After missing it for so long, she could barely keep herself from wrapping her arms around Kara right then. But it had been a long day and Kara deserved an undisturbed rest.

But Alex still didn’t want to leave her alone. So she went to her own room and pulled the blankets and pillow off her bed. She deposited them on the floor next to Kara’s bed. Sleeping on the ground might leave her sore in the morning, but after spending a week sleeping on nothing but rocks and dirt it didn’t faze her. Here she had blankets and pillows and walls. And being there for Kara was worth it.

She wrapped herself up in her comforter and let herself be lulled to sleep by Kara’s snoring, dreaming of only warm hugs and all that tomorrow had in store for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think of that? Different but still the same. and maybe less confusing because not told from a more lucid perspective?  
> For the next chapter I was think of actually switching between the two sister's perspectives within the story (get some more practice with writing more definite voices) so let me know what you think of that idea.  
> I'm still working a ton of hours and now I'm packing and preparing like crazy to go on basically like a 18 month trip were I have to live out of two suitcases (I won't have access to internet for that time so sorry you guys won't see anything new from me for a longgggg time but I will finish this fic if it kills me I promise) so if you want faster and probably lengthier updates comments really do help. It reminds me that people actually like to read what I'm writing. All of you that comment on every chapter you are literally the best and I love you so much! This fic probably would have been abandoned if it wasn't for you.  
> well who knows when the next update will be but I'll have it as soon as possible.


	35. Back to Normal?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex AND Kara's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Well here's a longer update than normal that covers a fair amount of time. I thought about breaking it up into smaller chapters but I liked how they all meshed. It's sort of some snapshots or snippets so be prepared for time and PoV jumps  
> Enjoy!

Alex woke up before the sun had risen. It was pretty normal for her to rise early, but she was especially glad that morning that she had developed the talent. She didn’t want to scare Kara or worry Eliza if they found her asleep on the floor. Pushing herself up off the ground, Alex did her best to muffle her groans of pain. Just as she had suspected, spending the night on the floor had left her sore, but she felt more rested than she had in weeks. Kara was unaffected by the noise, and continued snoring away.

Silently, Alex went to her room and changed into running clothes. She headed outside and sat on the front porch, stretching her sore muscles until they were loose. The early morning air was cold and the chill seeped through her jacket and sweats. The wind blew in a crisp breeze off the ocean that left her shivering. So she stood and started her jog, knowing that once she got moving her body would warm up. She followed her normal path she would take during her high school years, leaving the small neighborhoods behind and running along the beach. Old yet familiar sights passed as she ran, filling her with nostalgia. She let her mind wander away from her burning muscles, to memories of a time when her biggest problems had been staying awake in classes that were far too easy for her and making sure Kara didn’t embarrass herself too detrimentally.

By the time Alex had reached her five mile goal, the sun was up and burning away the autumn chill. Back at the house Eliza was already up making breakfast. Alex grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and leaned against the counter by her mom as she flipped pancakes.

“So how was sleeping on the floor last night?”

Alex choked, water spraying down her front.

Eliza laughed. “I had the tablet with me and couldn’t sleep well last night so I checked it almost every hour.”

“I just… I didn’t… I…” Alex stuttered.

“It’s fine, Alex. You don’t have to justify yourself to me. I think it’s good actually. You aren’t distancing yourself from her anymore.”

 She pulled off the last pancake and added it to the impressive stack. Kara didn’t eat nearly as much as she had before, but Alex knew that with the Danvers old habits die hard. At least they’d have leftovers for once.

“You know,” Eliza said pointedly, “We could move your bed into Kara’s room. There’s no reason to sleep on the floor if you are planning on spending more nights with her.”

Alex started to shrug off the suggestions, but her shoulders were still sore and she remembered how nice it had been to fall asleep near Kara, how comforting it had been. “Maybe,” she finally said.

Eliza must have been satisfied with that response because she didn’t push it. Instead she handed Alex the plate of pancakes and some toppings and directed her to take them to the table. Alex did as she was told and Eliza followed behind with plates and silverware.

Alex volunteered to go and get Kara while Eliza finished setting up. She knew that Kara hated when they started eating without her and even though Kara probably didn’t care about that anymore treating her like normal might help her get back to normal.

Alex gently shook Kara’s shoulder until she woke. She sat up a little, rubbing her eyes and yawning, her tousled bed head making her look adorable and kid-like.

“Time to get up, sleepyhead,” Alex said.

But Kara didn’t respond, just looked at her blankly. It was to be expected, but Alex couldn’t help feel disappoint settle like a rock at the bottom of her stomach. Kara was going to need more than just being home to get her back.

Alex lifted her off the bed. Kara was stiff and looked uncomfortable but at least didn’t struggle against her touch. Alex carried her out of the room and down the stairs. Thankfully, Kara’s time spent in the woods and a coma had left her underweight or else Alex might have not been able to hold her. At the bottom of the stairs, Alex dropped Kara in her wheel chair and then pushed her into the dining room.

Once Kara was situated between Alex and Eliza at the table they all began to eat. Kara simply stared at her plate while Alex wolfed down her pancakes. It was a strange role reversal. Eliza helped Kara eat, cutting and feeding pieces of pancakes to her. She munched on what was given to her contently. Kara ate two whole pancakes, but turned her nose up at anymore. Eliza helped clean the syrup from Kara’s chin while Alex took care of the dirty dishes.

Eliza got ready for work and although she was hesitant to leave them, Alex reassured her that they would be fine. Besides, they were in Midvale, the only danger was dying of boredom. So Eliza headed out and Alex was left to take care of Kara.

They sat around the dinner table silently watching each other. Alex hadn’t really thought about what they would do once they were alone. So she improvised.

“Okay so it’s time for…  physical therapy.”

Alex rolled Kara into the family room. Eliza had set aside some yoga mats for them so Alex laid them out. Carefully, she pulled Kara out of her chair and placed her on the floor. Back at the DEO, Alex had observed enough of Kara’s therapy sessions that she knew how it was done, but she was still nervous. Would Kara fight Alex like she always did the doctors or would she not react badly to Alex’s touch again? The only way to find out was to try.

As slow as she could, Alex lifted one of Kara’s legs bending it at the knee and stretching the joints and muscles. She kept a watchful eye on Kara’s face, gauging her reaction carefully. Although the movements seemed to make her tense and cringe sometimes in pain, Kara let her continue the exercises. She methodically worked with both Kara’s legs until she could feel the muscles responding to the movements. Then she switched to the arms, going through a similar process. Alex glanced at the clock and had to do a double take. It had been almost an hour since they had started. Kara’s sessions before had never gone over ten minutes; it didn’t take long for all the touching to send her into a panic that would force the doctors to stop. But that hadn’t happened. Kara didn’t seem to like it, she never did more than grimace. Alex finished up the last movements with Kara’s right arm and then put it back by Kara’s side. Sitting next to her on the floor, Alex watched as the tightness that had permeated Kara’s body eased away.

They had made progress today. Not much, but still some. Alex thought that maybe she should keep going, but one look at Kara dissuaded her from that idea. She had forgotten how easily Kara tired out. Her eyes drooped and she didn’t fight to keep them open. It was time for a nap. But Alex didn’t want to bring Kara back upstairs to her room when so much of the day still sprawled before them.

“I bet you’ve hated being cooped up all this time. I think we need to go outside and get some sunshine,” Alex said as she lifted an exhausted Kara back into her chair. Maybe if they spent some time every day out in the sun, Kara would start to regain her powers.

Alex wheeled Kara out to their backyard, grabbing a few blankets along the way. Thankfully the fall days in Midvale never got too cold, so it was cool but comfortable. She spread a blanket out over the grass and then laid Kara on top. Alex plopped down next to her, pulling another blanket over the both of them. Kara drifted to sleep almost immediately. It took Alex a little longer, her mind unable to shut down. But with the sun warming her and Kara pressed against her side, sleep eventually overcame her.

Until a car engine roared down the street ripping her back into consciousness. Alex bolted straight up, searching for danger, an enemy, Cadmus. But as the noise faded there was nothing but the quiet yard and Kara still asleep beside her. The sun was high in the sky now, about noon. Lunch time.

Alex turned to Kara to wake her up, but she froze, her hand hovering over Kara’s shoulder. Again, Alex found herself surprised at how normal Kara looked. Like the past few months hadn’t been real and she was whole and healthy. Her mind idled in the imaginary, thinking of how nice it would be if it were true.

But it wasn’t.

She had to come to terms with the fact that it might not ever be true again. Kara might not ever come back and if she did she wouldn’t be the same. Alex felt the change that had gone through herself, the fear that always lingered, the loss of interest in things she had enjoyed, the struggle to find meaning in the things she was doing. Her experience effected every aspect of her life. How much worse would it be fore Kara? How different would she be?

It didn’t matter. Nothing would ever make Alex stop loving Kara, changes or no. And if Kara ever came back from wherever her mind had sent her, Alex would be there to tell her that. To help her cope with the new and get back as much of the old as she wanted.

Alex finally let her hand fall to Kara’s shoulder, shaking her a little until her woke. Kara opened her eyes, blinking away the sleep. She looked around obviously confused at the new surrounding until her eyes landed on Alex. And then smiled. It didn’t reach all the way up to her eyes and her lips only turned upward slightly at the edges, but still a smile.

A real smile.

* * *

Kara decided that this place was much better than where she was before. No blank walls or frightening strangers or monotonous beeping. This place had so much more. New tastes, sounds, colors. Filling her up and setting her mind spinning. Even when it was a little too much and she started to feel overwhelmed it was better than the emptiness that had been there before.  

The food here was one of the best parts although not at first. Her body remembered the feeling of enjoying food, it just took a while for her mind to catch up. A pile of it sat on a plate in front of her. Kara willed her hands to work and grab the utensils, but they clattered uselessly against the table and plate. But the woman was there like always and helped her. Kara watched impatiently as she cut and stabbed a piece of the meal before lifting it to Kara’s lips. Then the woman took a bite of her own food, switching back and forth until they both had eaten there fill. It was their system. They did it every day. Every meal. Kara wished she could feed herself, but she knew she would miss this new tradition because while she fed her the woman talked. Throughout the day she talked to Kara, but it was never as continuous as while they ate. And almost every meal Kara picked out from the one-sided conversation that she understood, adding them to the list of things that made sense.

It wasn’t a very long list: sleep, blankets, sun, food, and not much else. But she now could add “potstickers” as the strange word rolled off the woman’s tongue and startled something in Kara. She knew what those were. They were the fried bites that tasted so good. She liked potstickers. She felt that maybe they could be her favorite.

But that still left her with a whole wide world of words and things that she knew she should know, but just couldn’t understand. All of it stuck somewhere behind a barrier in her mind. Inaccessible for some reason. Another thing she couldn’t remember.

The woman finished up their routine by cleaning Kara’s face of any mess (embarrassing but Kara couldn’t do it for herself so she let it happen) and then put their plates away. Usually after meals they would go outside and sit in the sun. Kara liked that. Liked the warmth when lay under its rays even though it sometimes confused her that the light was yellow and not red. Or it felt like something strong was buzzing beneath her skin that wouldn’t stop until they returned inside. The woman didn’t seem concerned, so Kara didn’t let herself be either.

But today the woman didn’t bring Kara outside. Instead she moved her a little ways away from the table and began setting something up in front of her. Kara didn’t know what it was, but, like most things, it was irritatingly familiar. It was some sort of wood stand with a large white surface at the top. The woman massaged open one of always Kara’s balled hands and placed something inside her fist. Kara stared down at it. It was like one of the eating utensils, but shaped different, fuzzy at the end. Not knowing what to do, Kara looked to the woman for guidance. She seemed a little disappointed, a deeper than usual frown sat on her lips, and the sentiment stung. But what could Kara do? She didn’t know what the woman wanted from her. No matter how hard she pushed in her mind to come up with the answer, it all came up as blank as the white surface in front of her. Grabbing Kara’s hand with her own, the woman guided the object in her fist across the white leaving a wide streak of red.

And Kara remembered. Painting. This was painting. She was supposed to know how to do that. Felt the knowledge swirling at the edge of her consciousness, just behind the wall. She wanted to unleash it, let out the images of red skies and tall spires or glass offices and balconies and well used couches. All things that felt too intimate to be anything but home no matter how abstract they were to her empty mind. She tried to paint out the things in her head, she really did, but after a few clumsy strokes with the brush the white looked nothing like what she wanted. Frustrated, she pushed harder both against the lack of control in her hands and the white paper. But the brush flew out of her hand and onto the ground, splattering red on the floor.

Kara felt the woman squeeze her shoulder, as she leaned down to pick it up. Somehow her frown had gotten deeper, sadness dimming her eyes. Kara wanted to do it. All of it. To paint. To talk to her. To understand her. To make her happy. But she just couldn’t. No matter how hard she threw herself against the wall in her head it never budged.

It seemed the woman had given up on the painting attempt and began to put away the materials. She continued talking as she had before, a blend of gibberish and mumbling Kara’s ears couldn’t pick up.

Except one word. A new word. Well not really. She had known it her whole life. Her name.

Kara.

She was Kara. How had she forgotten that?

But who was Kara? Who was she? Part of her wall buckled underneath the name, letting the smallest bit of remembrance through. But she couldn’t pin any of it down. None of it made sense. Confident and fear. Selfish thoughts and selfless acts. Why did she remember happiness but also so much anger and sadness? Too many contradictions. She was left with a less than tangible self-image.

The woman probably knew. She seemed to know everything. And yet Kara didn’t even know who the woman was. She was important, Kara knew that at least. And her favorite of all the people that came around her. When she was around things felt more real, more there.

Maybe if she pushed a little more, fought a little harder, she could force herself to remember. Kara leaned against the damaged wall, aching to fill all the empty spaces that left her hollow. Weightless and weak. But bright flashes overwhelmed her, snippets of images and feelings. Pain. Green explosions. Fear. Skin made of metal.

But the woman was there, rubbing her back and speaking soothingly. Kara let herself be drawn away from the wall, away from the painful memories. Letting herself be hollow.

At least for the moment.

* * *

So far it had been a normal day. Alex did what she always did, following the routine she had built around Kara’s needs. They had already spent some time outside basking in the dawn light before eating breakfast and seeing Eliza off to work. So now it was time for Kara’s physical therapy again.

Over the last week, Alex had at least seen some progress. But really Kara even allowing the exercises was a huge improvement. Alex could tell that, although still weak and easily exhausted, Kara was slowly getting stronger. But Alex still had to do all the movements with her, guiding her legs and arms in the exercises for her. Kara would remain motionless without her.

               Like usual, Alex left Kara in her chair while she set up the mats. She pulled them out of the closet they were kept in and started to unroll them. But something thudded to the ground behind and Kara groaned. Alex spun around, darting to Kara’s crumpled form on the floor.

“Crap Kara, are you okay?” she asked frantically, knowing she wouldn’t get an answer.

Kara had fallen on her face, so Alex rolled her onto her back, searching for any signs of pain or injury. She looked tense and maybe even frustrated, but not in any pain.

“What happened?” Alex asked herself out loud. Kara had never fallen out of her chair even when she had fallen asleep. She looked at the chair in question and was surprised to see it so far from where Kara had fallen. Did she fall that far? Not likely. Did it roll away? Seemed much more likely. Or maybe, just maybe, did Kara try and get up from her chair and stand?

No. Alex couldn’t let wild hopes run off with her imagination.

Despite the incident, Kara wasn’t hurt, so Alex moved her over to the mat and started doing their daily exercises.

But it didn’t go like their normal sessions did. Kara seemed to anticipate the movements, starting them before Alex could began guiding her arms or legs. She still couldn’t do them by herself, but Alex could feel Kara’s muscle working more than they ever had. The effort took its toll and soon Kara was limp under Alex’s hands like she had always been before. By the time they were done, Kara was practically already asleep.

Alex decided they wouldn’t go outside for Kara’s usual outside nap on the lawn. Kara didn’t look like she was up for the trip outside. A quick glance out the window told Alex it was a little overcast anyways.

She pulled herself up onto a nearby couch and watched Kara snooze on the floor. Kara hadn’t seemed different that morning, but something was definitely up. But maybe it was just Alex’s imagination. Maybe she going crazy with all the time spent in silence.

Whatever the reason, Alex decided to call up the DEO specialist soon and ask to learn some more advanced exercises for Kara just in case.

* * *

Kara couldn’t sleep anymore. She didn’t want to. Wouldn’t let herself. But her useless body grew tired too easily and it pulled her into the nightmares she couldn’t escape.

They used to only come when she pushed against the wall. The memories. Things pouring in through the cracks. Scaring her at the best of times, sending her into a fit of shivers and whimpering at the worst. But at least it was manageable. She could decide when to keep pushing or stop whenever it got too hard. It worried the woman, but Kara had refused to stop. Not when each time she threw herself against the wall, the more she understood, the more she remembered.

But then it started happening at night. When she had no control. The dreams took hold, dragging her through scenes she didn’t remember or understand, but still felt fully. Sometimes it was exploding planets or a tall man wrapped in red and blue leaving her behind while other times it was green swords or cyborgs with scalpels bearing down on her. But always, _always_ , they ended with the woman leaving, abandoning her to Kara’s enemies.

She always woke up in a cold sweat. And the woman was always there. Not running away. Not abandoning her. But there, holding her. Helping her fight away the painful images. The sensation of the woman’s arms wrapped around her was so familiar. She almost remembered. Almost.

Kara tried her best not to go back to sleep after the dreams woke her, but the woman stayed with her. Sang to her. Read to her. And the more nights they spent together the more words Kara added to her list, the more she learned, the more she remembered.

* * *

 

Two weeks seemed too long to describe their time spent in Midvale, but that what it had been. Two weeks. Maggie and the boys had come to visit that weekend, but had to again return to National City.  And Kara was fast asleep up in her bedroom. With the early mornings out in the sun and the more vigorous therapy session, she never stayed up very late. So it was just Alex and Eliza ate dinner alone.

“I’ve been so busy hosting that I haven’t had any time to talk to you. How are you and Kara doing?” Eliza asked.

Always ready to gush about Kara’s progress, Alex began spewing an account of the last few days. “We’ve been painting every morning and she’s started doing it herself. I mean it’s nothing amazing like she used to. At least she’s trying though. And the doctors at the DEO say she might be ready to start learning to walk again.”

Eliza chuckled at her excitement. “But what about you? Kara’s not my only daughter. I want to know how you are handling everything.”

Alex immediately sobered up, her smile disappearing as she fell silent.

“Come on Alex, talk to me.”

Alex’s therapist had been urging her to open up to those closest to her, but she was still hesitant to talk about her feelings. It was just so much easier to bottle it all up and keep it hidden. But she knew she couldn’t keep that up forever. She might as well talk now.

“I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that… I don’t know… that I’m failing her. My therapist won’t stop bringing it up. ‘Extreme self-loathing’ he keeps telling me, like naming it is going to make it go away or something. But Kara’s hurt _because_ of me and now she is having nightmares and won’t sleep and nothing I do helps,” Alex said, dropping her head in her hands.

Eliza moved closer and wrapped her arms over Alex’s shoulders. “Oh hon, me telling you it’s not your fault isn’t going to change your feelings. But just look at all the progress you and Kara have made. I worked with Kara at the DEO for almost a month and there was no change. Yet with you, every day she gets better. That’s _because_ of you. And don’t think I haven’t noticed that you don’t wake up screaming anymore. That’s because of Kara. Without each other you both are lost. You two help one another more than anyone else can. I can only imagine what you two will manage next.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so we have some nice fluff and recovery. nice right? So I think I have only 2 more chapters planned (maybe three if the next one needs to be split) and it should include some last bits of angst before wrapping up the story. sound good? any suggestions or ideas or thoughts about this chapter or future chapters or the story in general? please let me know. I really appreciate all you guys' comments and they really help me stay motivated to write even when I am so crazy busy and stressed (which is right now)  
> I don't know when the next update will be, it just depends on how soon I get the outline solidified (suggestion comments really help with this) and how well I manage my time (nothing seems to help with this) but I'll try and get it out as fast as I can!  
> Thanks!!!


	36. Old Storms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Alex PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about another long wait but I got some good stuff for you. I was going to post this as a longer chapter but I thought I would give it to you in piece so you don't have to wait as long (but also because I am a sadist. just wait you'll see).  
> Enjoy!

Everything hurt. It all hurt. Constant pounding headaches that never seemed to never fade. Flighty memories she couldn’t keep track of, couldn’t understand swamped over her. So much anger and sadness and guilt. And the phantom pains. Old wounds, old pains. Stabs. Bruises. Broken bones. All not really there but still so present. Kara couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t, couldn’t…

No she had to. Had to keep pushing herself. Had to remember. Had to remember the woman.

But she couldn’t worry the woman. Even through the haze of delirium and pain, Kara could see the anxiety painted so often on the woman’s face. So Kara kept her pain hidden, doing her best to shove it all underneath a façade (a skill she was better at than she thought she would be, like she had had lots practice). But she knew some of it slipped through the cracks. Especially at night, when she woke the woman with her screams.

So Kara refused to sleep. She pretended to for the sake of the woman who watched over her late into the night. But she never drifted off for more than a few painful hours.

And as Kara now lay in bed, writhing under the onslaught of vague memories, she felt herself slipping under the sway of sleep. She was just so tired. Out of energy. Out of willpower. Physically and mentally exhausted. All the little bits of herself that she had collected ready to shatter again. So fragile. So close to destruction.

But she was so close to remembering too. She could feel it. Every day she dragged her aching mind closer to the unseen finish line. She couldn’t stop now. For the woman. For _herself_.

Maybe it would happen tonight. She would break through the wall. It was as cracked and crumbling as her psyche. Just as ready to collapse. But a chasm had formed between her and it and she couldn’t get across it. That didn’t stop her from throwing herself across the empty space all night long.

She jumped and jumped and jumped.

And fell and fell and fell. Into a pit of nightmares and darkness.  Things that tasted more like fear than reality. Screams and blood spilling from people she knew she loved but couldn’t remember. Men with dark skin and kind smiles that twisted into pained grimaces. The man draped in blue’s clothes turning purple with crimson stains. Women that shared the same face but different eyes burning, burning, burning in green and red fire that scorched Kara’s hands if she even tried to save them. Her woman screaming under the blade of metal men. And more pain. More death. Too many more people dying in front of her before she could save them. She could never save them.

The first time she tossed herself off the edge it took days to climb back out and even longer to recover, letting herself drift in nothingness until she somewhat recovered. But she was used to it now, pushed off the overwhelming shadow much faster. Ready to leap again.

She took a deep breath. She could do it. She could reach the other side, the wall. It would break and she could end this masochistic cycle. She wouldn’t fall. Wouldn’t see the death again. She couldn’t take it again.

But as she near the chasm something shifting against her side, pulled Kara out of her mind and out of her dead sprint to the edge.

Kara opened her eyes and looked up at the woman wrapped around her side. She hoped she hadn’t disturbed her. The woman refused to leave her to suffer alone. Stubbornly insisting on holding her and staying up through the night. And Kara appreciated it, needed it. Without her Kara would never have the strength to keep on trying. But Kara could see the toll it was taking on her. The woman’s sleep was restless and sporadic like she was worried when she woke up Kara would be gone. But she would never leave. At least not physically. Mentally she had places to go.

The other side of the wall.

Kara readied herself to jump.

But the woman twisted again, whimpering quietly. She was dreaming. Trapped in a nightmare.

The woman always helped Kara escape her own painful dreams. Held her under the fear faded to a manageable level. Kara had to help her this time. It might be one of the only things she could actually do.

Though her hands were stiff and cumbersome, Kara shook the woman until her eyes snapped open still filled with fear. Kara pulled the woman into her chest, wrapping her in a tight hug. Forgetting for just a moment about the wall, the chasm, the pain.

* * *

It took a while for Alex to realize what was happening. Where she was. Who she was with. It seemed just as dreamlike as her nightmare had. But it was real. Kara wrapped around her. Holding her so tight it almost hurt. Alex would have to figure out a way to test to see if Kara’s powers were returning because it felt much more like Kara’s normal superpowered hugs. But that could wait for later.

She just wanted to enjoy the moment. Melting into her sister’s warm arms. She pressed her face into Kara’s shoulder, pushing away lingering memory of her nightmares and slowing her heaving breathes.

By the time she had the strength to emerge from Kara’s side, faint streaks of sunlight were filtering through the window. Time to get up.

Alex started to get ready for the day, changing out of her pj’s before helping Kara to do the same. All the while Kara just watched her with her usual blank stare. But it wasn’t the same. It hadn’t been for days, but Alex finally could pick out the changes. The dark bags under her eyes. The fear that swirled beneath the vacant gaze. Like when she first woke from the coma. Like in the clearing.

She didn’t know how much longer she could watch Kara regress. She had seemed to be doing good, so much better, so much closer to being herself again. But as Kara’s ups got much higher, the lows plummeted. A wild rollercoaster of improvement and regression. And the ups were becoming far less frequent. More often than not, Kara barely slept, barely ate, barely did any of the things Alex had spent countless hours helping her relearn.

To say Alex was worried was a massive understatement. She was _terrified_. Scared that she was making everything worse. That she wasn’t doing enough. That what she was doing wasn’t working. But most of all just scared for Kara.

Something needed to change. Something big.

But Alex didn’t know what. Maybe she would start small. A change in routine.

Like a walk. Yes, they would walk to the beach. Kara liked the beach. And maybe the change of scenery would help. Kara never liked to be in the same place for too long.

So she picked Kara’s frightingly light body up and carried her down stairs to her wheel chair. Before heading out the door, grabbed a few towels and scrawled out a note telling Eliza where they were going and stuck it on the kitchen counter. No need to worry her when she didn’t find her daughters out in the backyard like they usually were.

They rolled out onto the porch and down the sidewalk. This early in the morning the neighborhood was quiet, but not in an eerie way. It was peaceful. A breeze rustled through the trees and blew Kara’s loose hair back. Alex couldn’t see her face, but the slope of Kara’s shoulder seemed more relaxed. Maybe this going outside thing really would work.

When they arrived at the beach, Alex rolled out towels over the wet sand before sitting Kara on the ground. Kara remained stiff on the ground, unmoving and keeping her eyes pinned to Alex. Alex searched her face to find any sign of fear, waiting for Kara to begin to freak out at all the new sounds and textures bombarding her. But Kara remained calm. Her eyes dropped the sand and slowly Kara moved her feet to the edge of the towel and dug them into the sand, scrunching it between her toes. Alex remained vigilant, still worried, but Kara eased down onto the towel and let her eyes fall shut. Good. Maybe she would actually be able to get some rest for once.

Alex watched Kara for a while longer. She didn’t sleep—her toes still digging through the sand gave her away. But what could Alex do? She couldn’t force Kara to relax and rest.

As time wore on and Kara’s demeaner remained unchanged, Alex’s attention drifted out to the ocean. The breeze had turned into a strong wind, churning up the ocean and sending taller and taller waves crashing towards the beach. Perfect for surfing. Alex wished she had a board with her. Then it could be just like old times.

Most of their summer days while they were teenagers had been spent out here on the beach. Alex surfing while Kara watched from the sand or the shallows. It had taken her awhile to learn how to swim. Kara had always seemed embarrassed that she couldn’t do something that everyone else could. Swimming wasn’t something the nobles of Krypton had a time or place to do, she would remind Alex every time she chuckled at her sputtering attempts to stay afloat. Eventually she did learn, but she still stayed close to shore during their trips to the beach. Alex offered to teach Kara how to surf, but she always declined saying that she would rather build sand castles (which always looked suspiciously alien in structure). She never pushed it, but Alex had her doubts about Kara’s reasoning. Surfing was exactly the fun, thrill seeking, feels-just-like-flying type of a thing that Kara liked. It took years for her to realize that Kara had known that Alex needed something that was just hers, something that her superpowered sister couldn’t do and she could. Adding yet another reason to the list of ways Kara was the best sister ever. Alex let her mind wander through happy memories of her childhood, oblivious to the world around them.

Thunder erupted over her head, ripped her from her thoughts. Kara jolted up and darted against Alex’s side, shaking at the sound. Alex had been so distracted by her thoughts she had not felt the wind pick up or seen the clouds roll over them, darkening the sky. Lightning flashed across the sky and Kara pressed further into her side.

They had to get back home.

But Kara wasn’t the only one shaking with fear. Alex felt like a hand was clenched around her throat, choking off her air, and her limbs and body were unresponsive to her internal screams for movement. Much less pleasant memories now filled her head. The woods. The clearing. White lightning illuminating the titans battling in front of her. Kara’s eyes going dim. Leaving. Dying.

“No,” Alex shouted, making Kara jump in fear but Alex finally wrapped her arms around her.

No, Kara wasn’t dying. Wasn’t dead. She was here. And she needed Alex’s help. Alex remembered what her therapist had told her every time they discussed her flashbacks. They weren’t in the wilderness anymore. It happened, it was real, but they were safe now. Kara was safe. Alex was safe.

But they might not be if she didn’t get them home soon. Alex scooped up Kara and lifted her back into her wheelchair. She quickly grabbed the sandy towels and started pushing Kara back towards home.

They made it off the beach just as it started to rain. At first just a drizzle, but it quickly became a downpour. They both were soaked and cold in seconds. Alex could feel tremors vibrating through the chair from Kara’s shivering though she was unsure whether it was from the cold or fear. Either way wasn’t good.

The thunder increased; deep roaring filling the sky and sending Alex’s heart pounding. It’s okay, we’re safe. We’re safe, she chanted in her head trying (and failing) to tune out rumbling in her ears and focus on getting home.

Alex pushed Kara as fast as she could manage down the sidewalk towards their house. Now yards and houses surrounded them on every side, but thankfully the roads were empty. Neither her nor Kara needed loud car engines or a crowd to send them further into a panic.

But that thought came too soon. Another riff of thunder screamed above their heads setting off howling and barking from a dog fenced inside one of the houses’ backyards. And then another joined. And another.

Alex’s whole world seemed to swirl and tilt. The dogs’ howls continued, hammering into her ears. And suddenly she was running. Running from the howls. Running from wolves that snapped at her heels. Kara bounced around in her chair as it rolled over the ridges in the concrete. She had shrunk into a quivering ball and Alex could make out tears spilling from her eyes. But she couldn’t stop to comfort her now. Not with the storm growing louder and stronger and the barking echoing behind them.

They were close. So close. Just two blocks away. She could outrun the storm. Outrun the wolves. Save herself. Save Kara. So close. So close. So—

Later Alex would recognize that it had just been a coast guard helicopter going to the aid of some boat caught in the storm but with the fear already threatening to overwhelm her the pulsing sound of the flying vehicle sounding too much like Cadmus chasing them, Cadmus hunting them, Cadmus flying away with her sister was enough to push her over the edge into pure panic.

And her body froze. No fight or flight left. Just fear. Fear that made her collapsing to her knees and curling into herself. Hiding from the wolves. Cadmus. Everything. Unable to stop her whole body from shaking. Unable to get up. To help herself. To help Kara.

* * *

It had been helping. The wind. The salty air. The sand. Kara’s head felt clearer than it had in a while. The stream of constant memories tapering off. Leaving just her and the woman.

She felt strong. Ready to try again. But she let herself bask in the comfort of the woman just a little longer. Listening to her quiet breathing and her steady heartbeat that seemed to have grown louder and louder over the last few days.

But she waited too long.

The sky roared and all the clarity and strength disappeared. And the nightmares returned. A burning planet. Green explosions. The sounds wouldn’t stop. The memories wouldn’t stop. Booming in and above her head over and over and over again.

She wasn’t alone though. She clung to the woman as she carried her back to her chair, taking her away from the awful sounds.

But something wasn’t right. The woman’s heart always beat on at a steady beat, but now it pounded almost as loud as the thundering sky.

Cold rain sapped her energy and more overwhelming sounds joined the thunder. Kara couldn’t think of anything but the fear, the pain. She was in danger. Someone was after her. Going to hurt her. Already hurting her. Too much noise. Too much green coursing under her skin. Too much. She was almost completely unaware of anything else.  

But she noticed when they stopped moving. The woman’s heartbeat and breathing were too erratic and Kara heard her hit the ground. Kara had to help her. Had to save her like she always saved Kara. But her body was shaking and refused to work and memories continued to fill her eyes threatening to pull her out of reality again.

This had to end.

She had to overcome it.

Had to make the jump.

Break the wall.

But she didn’t feel ready anymore.

Didn’t feel strong.

But she couldn’t wait anymore.

The woman needed her.

So she took a few steps back from the mental chasm.

Took a deep breath.

And jumped.

 

 

 

 

For the first time Kara landed on her feet. The wall before her, already starting to crumble in her presence. And strength flooded over her. She threw a fist at the wall. A raspy laugh pulled itself from her lips as she watched the barrier fall. The strength wasn’t just internal. She pushed against the arms of her chair, lifting herself unsteadily to her feet. Standing. And not falling.

She was strong again. Ready to cross the wall and grab her last pieces.

As she took a step across the barrier, she took her first real step. Towards the woman. Towards her memories. Towards understanding.

But as her foot hit the ground in both realities, pain rushed up through her. Her body and mind screamed as it remembered. Old and healing wounds sent her tumbling to the wet concrete. It hit her harder than a speeding train. All her memories. All at once. It was too much. Too much. There was understanding mixed in, but when she brushed up against it it just made everything worse. How could he just abandon his only family? How could they have sentenced everyone they knew to a fiery death? How could Kara ever make up for all the hurt she had caused?

She didn’t want know. She didn’t want to remember. She pushed the memories, the understanding away. She dove back into the vacant nothingness she had always wanted to flee. She thought she had wanted to remember, but she didn’t want this

Because everything hurt. It hurt so much. And this time there was no one there to save her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry not sorry  
> I'll have the second half out sometime next week and the last chapter out the week after that and then I will be gone for 18 months (so a i stick to that vague update schedule as best as I can)  
> what did you think? crazy stuff right? what do you think is going to happen? what do you want to happen?   
> I have some surprises planned for the next chapter, does anyone want to take any guess at what they are?   
> or just want to talk to me to help me stay motivated?  
> I'll take anything!  
> Thank you for reading, kudoing, and commenting!!!


	37. Closing the Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara, Alex, AND Maggie's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again sorry about the wait but here's the longest chapter and sort of the finale so the wait should be worth it  
> Enjoy!

Kara couldn’t escape. The memories where too strong, punching through the emptiness she tried to hide in. Stabbing her, pulling her back to reality. She couldn’t fight it. Couldn’t get away.

And somehow whenever she resurfaced in real world everything was so much worst. So loud. Sounds pulsed in her ears. A thousand heartbeats pounding against her head. Machines growled and rumbled everywhere. But it wasn’t enough to drown out the memories that ripped through her too quickly to grasp.

She was stuck in limbo, tossed between two planes of existence that hurt too much endure for more than a moment. She was being pulled apart at the seams. Falling to pieces. She needed help. Needed saving. But she was alone. Alone. Alone. She wanted this to end. Couldn’t take it anymore. Just let it end. Please just let it end.

A breathy whimper screamed in Kara’s ears.

The woman.

She was still there. Still hadn’t gotten up. Kara had to help. Had to do something.

She split open her eyes, blinking painfully as the ground swirled and seemed to disappear beneath her face. The world didn’t stabilize and the memories continued to flash before her eyes. But she couldn’t let them stop her. Kara had to help her. Had to help her s—

Once more she slid behind the nothingness she’d lived in, using it as a weak shield against the onslaught of remembering. The visions got through little by little, slowly snaking around her limbs and neck, binding and choking her. But it gave her enough time to at least try.

Kara ripped away the tangled tubes that wrapped around her face and neck. Ignoring the spinning, changing world around her, Kara pushed up against the ground. Her limbs so heavy, joints unyielding. But she forced her legs to bend, she crawled over the wet ground. She bit back the screams that fought to escape her throat and join the screaming of her muscles.

But the woman wasn’t far and it didn’t take long for Kara to close the distance between them and collapse by her side. Lifting her head she saw the woman (and through the woman and inside the woman: bones and pipes beneath asphalt). Kara winced at the headache that raged harder with every second her eyes were open, but she blinked a few times forcing her eyes to behave.

And the woman appeared more clearly before her. Tremors wracking her body, chest heaving, lips tinged blue. Kara dragged herself closer and wrapped her arms around her. She needed to get her out of the cold, out of the rain. But she didn’t know where to go, what to do. Still she had to try something.

So she tried to stand. Heaved upward, willing her legs to hold her up. But they didn’t know how to anymore, how to keep her balanced and upright. She fell, slamming painfully against the cement, a flood of memories, taking advantage of the lapse of control, swept over her. But she couldn’t stop. Couldn’t give up.

Pushing through the pain, she tightened her grip on the woman and tried to drag her. And it worked. Soaked with the rain, they both slid against the ground, water seeping out of their saturated clothes wherever they put pressure them. The woman was lighter than Kara would’ve thought and they made it a couple yards. But then the woman cried out and shoved her way out of Kara’s grip. Kara pulled her back into her arms and tried to pull her along, but the woman fought until Kara stopped moving.

Kara couldn’t carry her, couldn’t drag her, so what could she do? Was there anything to do? Through the haze of pain and memories, Kara didn’t have a clue. So she resigned herself to waiting. Hoping, begging, praying that there was someone out there looking for them. Coming to save them.

She held tightly to the woman, hoping her touch would give some warmth or comfort. She angled their bodies so Kara’s covered the woman’s, keeping her mostly out of the rain.

And waited.

The storms and memories grew stronger, while the woman and her own resolve grew weaker and weaker. But Kara held on, believing that somehow, someway they would survive. Believed somehow they had survived worse.

* * *

It hadn’t been planned.

Maggie woke to her phone ringing. She glanced at her alarm clock and groaned at how early it was. Not even four yet. Blindly, she groped her bedside table for her phone. She accepted the call quickly just managing to catch it before it went to voicemail.

And what luck she did. Her chief needed her to cover a graveyard shift instead of work the weekend. Normally, she would have fought the change (graveyard shifts were the worst) but today she took it without complaint.

As soon as the call ended, Maggie launched out of bed. She got dressed and threw some clothes into a duffel bag she pulled from her closet. Grabbing a few toiletries, she finished packing and headed out the door. By the time she was on her motorcyle and pulling out onto the road, the sun still wasn’t above the horizon. But she wasn’t sleep anymore. She had a whole free weekend ahead of her and she wanted to spend as much of it as she could in Midvale with the Danvers.

Maggie took advantage of the light early morning traffic and made it to the beach town in almost half the time it should have taken. She pulled into the Danvers’ driveway at six. She jumped off her bike and excitement pulsed through her. She had to restrain herself from sprinting to the door and upstairs to surprise Alex.

During her last visit, Alex had shown Maggie where the spare key was, so Maggie dug gently through the potted plant by the door until she found the key and then let herself in.

She quietly shut the door, hoping to not wake up any of the sleeping family—it was the weekend after all.

But someone spoke up behind her making her yelp and almost jump out of her skin.

“Maggie?”

Swiveling around, Maggie saw Eliza dressed in comfy clothes, cradling a steaming mug.

“Oh, you scared me,” Maggie sighed, pressing a hand against her fast beating heart. She moved forward to give Eliza a side hug. Providing support for each other as they both did all they could to care for the Danvers sister had bounded them in a comfortable friendship.

“What are you doing here? I didn’t think you could come this weekend?” Eliza asked.

“My schedule got switched around, so I thought I would surprise you guys. Are they both still upstairs?”

“No,” Eliza said as she pulled a piece of paper out of a pocket and held it out to Maggie, “They went on a walk to the beach. You could go and join them if you want.”

Maggie thought about it for a moment but then answered, “I think I’ll just wait for them here with you if that’s alright. I’ll let them enjoy their outing in peace without me interrupting.”

Eliza nodded. “Do you want to help me make pancakes?”

“Of course.”

 

Maggie poured the batter while Eliza flipped the fluffy cakes all the while they chatted comfortably. The topic swayed from work—at both the lab and the precinct—and the Danvers’ sisters. Both had very interesting work lives and enjoyed listening to the other talk passionately, but as time went on the they focused more on Alex and Kara.

Maggie talked to Alex every night, squeezing in a phone call even when she was so busy she didn’t even have time to eat. Alex had gotten better at letting Maggie help her and always called when she had a nightmare, but Maggie could tell she was still leaving things out, still hiding her darker thoughts and fears. Eliza voiced similar concerns. Despite Alex’s assurances that things were getting better, the older woman saw the exhaustion that effected both her daughters. But neither of them really knew what to do to help the sisters. Alex needed Kara and Kara needed Alex. But with all they had endured, neither had gained back the strength to stand on their own yet. They were still relearning how to hold themselves up, so who could they carry a whole other person. Kara couldn’t’ provide all the reassurance and comfort Alex needed and Alex couldn’t fix all of Kara’s problems. But it didn’t matter to them. They refused to be separated again even for their own sakes and were contend to cling to one another—even if they unknowingly dragged each other further and further down. Still Maggie and Eliza took comfort in the understanding they shared. They would be there to help Alex and Kara no matter what.

Maggie interrupted the steady conversation when she realized that it was almost half past eight and still there was no sign of the Danvers sisters. “You’d think they’d be back now? It’s way past their normal breakfa—“

A crack of thunder shook the whole house and made both women’s eyes dart to the window where dark clouded skies shown through. They froze, time moving slowly. The urgentness of the situation still only just beginning to sink in.

But the stillness only lasted for a moment.

Because another rumble came from the sky and pushed Maggie into action.

She sprinted towards the door, leaving Eliza still in the kitchen. But she couldn’t wait.

Kara and Alex were out there.

Maggie threw open the door and was immediately buffeted by wind and rain. But she dashed outside anyway, ignoring the shouts from Eliza.

She had to get to Alex as fast as she could.

Because Alex couldn’t handle storms, especially thunderstorms. Not since the fight in the clearing. It had taken weeks for Alex to tell Maggie about the experience and even then it wasn’t until a similar storm rolled in that left Alex a panicked mess that she finally told Maggie about her new fear.

And now Alex was out there without Maggie. Caught in a storm by herself.

But no, she wasn’t alone. Kara was with her. And that made everything worse because Kara couldn’t help Alex through this. She probably was just as terrified if not more than her older sister. And without Alex to help her, Kara could get hurt or hurt herself. Alex was in just as much danger, but Maggie knew that if Kara got hurt Alex would never forgive herself.

So Maggie ran. Following the way to the beach Alex had shown her during one of her visits. Ignoring the rain that stung her eyes and seeped through her clothes. Ignoring the vibrating in her pocket as her phone rang. She ran and ran and ran.

Until she spotted them.

Huddled on the sidewalk, a sopping dogpile of shaking limbs and frantic breathing. Maggie got closer she saw that Kara was draped over Alex. Maggie slid to the ground next to them and tried to pull Kara off, but her grip on her sister was too strong. She pulled harder against the blonde’s arms. Maybe she could get Kara back into her wheelchair that had sat a few yards away and then somehow carry Alex while she pushed Kara. It was a long shot, but she had to try. Yet Kara still wouldn’t let go.

Maggie’s phone vibrated again and this time she picked up.

“Did you find them?” Eliza asked, her voice shaking.

“Yeah I got them.” Maggie quickly looked around, squinting through the rain until she found a street sign. “We’re at the corner of Linden and Cherry.”

“I’m on my way,” Eliza said before hanging up.

Maggie, not wanting to wait around doing nothing, did her best to maneuver Kara so that she could get to Alex. Maggie cupped her hands around Alex’s face. Her eyes were squeezed shut, hair plastered to her forehead, and her lips and skin tinged blueish gray. But she was alive and there in Maggie’s grip.

“It’s okay, you’re safe. Eliza’s coming,” Maggie said trying to comfort her but Alex didn’t react to her words. Still Maggie kept trying, repeating the words over and over again.

Until she heard the thrum of a car engine approaching them; Eliza finally there to rescue them.

But Kara suddenly screamed, shoving Maggie to the side and releasing her grip on Alex. As the car got closer, Kara curled into herself. Her fists pressed hard against the sides of her head and the shaking through her whole body got more violent.

The car pulled up next to them. Eliza threw it into park and jumped out. Without a word, they gracelessly lifted Kara and carried her to the car. She flailed in their arms and both woman grunted under her blows. (Maggie knew they would both be sporting bruises the next day.) Somehow they managed to force her into the passenger seat. Alex was next. After holding Kara, it was a piece of cake and they had Alex deposited in the back seat in less than a minute. Eliza got into the car, but Maggie went back for the wheelchair, collapsing it and pulling it in with her as she slid into the backseat next to Alex.

With everyone in, Eliza sped off back to the house. She did her best to comfort Kara while still keeping her eyes on the road, but Kara seemed to be inconsolable. Whimpers escaped from her lips as she writhed in the seat, her shaking vibrating the whole car. Alex wasn’t much better, terrified and seemingly unaware of what was going on. Still, she let Maggie hold her and started to react to her touch. But that did little to ease Maggie’s anxiety. Alex was cold, so so cold to the touch, and her breathing was so erratic she might make herself pass out.

They arrived at the house without any change in the sisters’ conditions. Maggie went to help Eliza bring Kara in, but Eliza waved her off as she threw Kara’s arm over her shoulder and started dragging her to the door.

“I’ve got her you take care of Alex,” Eliza called back frantically.

Maggie didn’t have to be told twice.

Alex was bigger and heavier than Maggie, but she hauled her in a similar manner through the door and into the front room. She heard Eliza and Kara struggling up the stairs, but she didn’t let them distract her from helping Alex.

Pulling blankets off the nearby couches, Maggie draped them over herself and then wrapped herself around Alex. She had to get Alex warm again. Underneath the quilts, Maggie rubbed Alex’s arms and hands, using friction to heat them. But it wasn’t enough. Alex’s clothes were soaked through and keeping the chill pressed against her skin. Maggie pulled away from the blankets and went to find her duffel bag. It was still sitting near the kitchen. Digging through it until she found her sweatshirt and pajama pants. Rushing back to Alex, she pulled the taller girl’s wet clothes off and quickly replaced them with the dry ones. They were a little small, but were good enough for them moment.

Back underneath the blankets, Maggie continued to work on warming Alex up all while trying to calm her down. Your safe’s and breathe with me’s falling from her lips heavier than the rain. And it was working. Alex’s slowly, slowly, slowly relaxed into Maggie’s arms. Still dazed and unaware, but not shaking or breathing as badly anymore. Maggie let herself relax a little too, relieved that everything was going to be okay.

A scream tore through the air and echoed through the house.

“Maggie!” Eliza shouted from upstairs.

And she only hesitated for a moment, looking down at Alex’s fluttering eyelashes and pale skin, before leaving her alone in the pile of blankets.

As she bolted up the stairs more screams bounced off the walls in waves towards her. She found them just around the corner. Eliza still had Kara’s arm around her shoulder holding her up like a dead weight. But Kara wasn’t limp, wasn’t still and unconscious. No, she was anything but. Thrashing. Screaming. Pain pulsing off her.

Eliza’s eyes were wide and frantic. “Help me get her into bed.”

Maggie caught Kara’s other flailing arm and started pulling along with Eliza. But Kara wasn’t having it. She screamed and kicked all the way down the hall. As Eliza pushed up the bedroom door, Kara pulled down against them, almost dragging them both to the floor. So strong. Stronger than she should be.

And the realization kicked in.

Now was not a good time for Kara’s powers to return.

How they manage to wrangle Kara into her bed was beyond Maggie, but it still didn’t do anything to help. The screaming, the convulsing, none of it got better. It probably got worse. The thrashing was so violent, Maggie was worried she would hurt herself. Kara’s strength might be coming back, but she in no way seemed invulnerable, especially to self-harm. The blossoming scratches and bruises that were left behind as Kara clawed at her own body only proved that point.

Eliza was panicking. She tried to get closer to Kara, but Maggie caught her arm and held her back.

“You can’t. We can’t help her like this,” Maggie said, trying to make her understand, “And she would be devastated if she hurt you.”

She pulled her arm out of Maggie’s grip, but didn’t try to move towards Kara again.

And so they stood, watching as Kara’s invisible torture played out before them.

Helpless.

* * *

Alex was cold. And wet. And freezing, shivering, soaking. Drenched with fear. So much fear. Overwhelming her. Choking her. Pressing down on her chest.

No. That wasn’t fear. It was something else. Something tangible and heavy. The only warmth and relief left to her. But thunder roared above her again and she forgot all about the weight on top of her.

Until hands grabbed her face and a familiar voice spoke to her. But she still didn’t have the will power to open her eyes. Couldn’t face the world. The storm. The wolves. Cadmus.

She heard the car engine and Kara’s screams and she wanted desperately to get up. To fight. To protect Kara. But she couldn’t. Couldn’t stop them from taking Kara. She was paralyzed. Only able to listen as she heard Kara cry out from inside the vehicle. But they didn’t leave Alex behind this time. They pulled her into the car too.

Alex could feel the car pick up speed beneath her. Kara’s whimpers bounced around inside the vehicle. What were they doing to her? What were they going to do to Alex? She expected handcuffs, torture, maybe sedation. But instead she got arms wrapped around her and more soothing words. Yet the fear was still too overpowering and she couldn’t control it. None of the coping methods she had developed were helping. She was trapped in a waking nightmare.

The drive didn’t last long and soon she was dragged into some sort of building.

Cadmus had finally caught them.

Finally got them back to their base. They had succeeded and Alex had failed. She finally pulled open her eyes when she heard Kara’s cries grew closer. The world blurred around her, but she was able to pinpoint her sister. Kara fought against someone as they pulled her away from Alex. Her eyes landed on Alex’s and pleaded for Alex to save her. But Alex couldn’t move, body numb and useless, and Kara’s screaming faded away as the distance widened between them. Separated again. Cadmus was going to hurt her. Lillian was going to experiment on her. All because Alex couldn’t save her. It was all her fault. All her fault. All her fault.

Something heavy pressed around her again and suddenly she felt warmth in her numb fingers. More soft words drifted to her ears as someone dress her in dry clothes.

“It’s okay.”

“You’re safe.”

“You’re home.”

“I’ve got you, Alex.”

Maggie. Maggie was there. Helping her.

Alex was still confused. She was still unsure how Cadmus fit into this, but the fear started to ease away and Alex let herself fall into Maggie’s embrace. She felt exhausted, like she had run a marathon. Her eyes refusing to open no matter how hard she tried. She wanted to know where she was and what was going on. But she trusted Maggie and if she said she was safe then Alex believed it.

A scream interrupted their quiet moment. Kara. Screaming. In pain. Maggie pulled away, her body no longer warm against Alex’s. Kara’s screaming continued, getting louder and more desperate. She was in danger. She was hurting.

And Alex couldn’t just lay there and do nothing.

She forced her eyes opened and was shocked to see her own home surrounding her. Even with Maggie’s words still echoing in her ears she had expected warehouse walls and cell bars. But Maggie had been right. The realization spread slowly.

Alex was still unsure how much of her experience in the storm had been real and how much had been created by fear, but another loud screech resounding from upstairs made her forget the dilemma in a heartbeat. It didn’t matter because Kara was still afraid, still hurting and Alex had to help her.

She half walked half crawled to the stairs. She was shivering uncontrollably, but she kept a blanket hanging over her shoulder to fight off the chill at least a little. The stairs were like a mountain, each step draining the remnants of her energy. But every scream yanked her forward. A pounding rhythm pulling her closer. They grew more panicked. Tortured. Like how they were in Alex’s nightmares. The sounds that echoed through her worst dreams. Real but still distant, still muffled by distance and walls.

But as she burst into Kara’s bedroom they hit her with full force. And so did Maggie and Eliza’s arms, encircling her, their strength holding her tired body back. Barring her from her sister’s struggling form.

“No Alex,” Maggie huffed as she held her ground, “She’ll hurt you. Don’t—“

Alex broke through their arms, jetting past them. Ignoring their warning cries. They couldn’t stop her. She wouldn’t let them. Nothing could keep her from her sister.

But Kara’s thrashing was too wild. Alex drew too close and the swinging limbs punched into her, knocking the wind out of her and shoving her to the floor. Maggie and Eliza started to jump to her aid, but she waved them off.

“You guys need to leave,” Alex whispered as quietly as she could, but her voice was scratchy and hard to control. “I think she is overstimulated and the more people here the more scared she’ll be.”

Maggie made to argue, but Eliza placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

The smaller woman deflated. “Just be careful.”

Alex nodded. She watched as they both turned and walked out the door, casting worried glances over their shoulder. The door quietly clicked shut and Alex’s attention immediately returned to Kara.

Alex lifted herself back off the ground, and started to move very slowly towards Kara, approaching her like a wounded animal. Her sister’s eyes were closed tightly, but Alex didn’t know how sensitive her hearing was. She might be able to hear every creak in the room, in Alex’s body, the whole house or even the neighborhood. Alex drew closer until she could kneel at the bedside.

“Hey Kara, it’s just me. You’re safe.”

Kara flinched and smashed her hands hard against her ears.

So Alex had been right about the superhearing. But maybe she had something to help with that. As silently as she could Alex got up and dug through an old box of stuff at the foot of Kara’s bed. It took longer and was louder than she wanted, but she finally pulled out Kara’s old pair of noise cancelling headphones. They were old and beat up from so many years of use, but it didn’t surprise Alex that Kara hadn’t gotten rid of them even if she had other nicer pairs now. She was such a hoarder. Before returning to Kara’s side she snatched Kara’s glasses from where they had sat for weeks on the bedside table.  

Alex let her voice drop to the faintest breath of a whisper. “I’m sorry. I know everything’s loud, but I’m going to help you.”

She leaned over Kara, pushing her sister’s hands off her ears and replacing them with the headphones. Kara’s convulsions intensified at the unexpected touching and Alex had to bite back groans of pain as strong hands smacked into her torso. She didn’t pull away but got even closer as she slid the glasses onto Kara’s face.

For a second nothing changed. And Alex felt lost. Unsure of what to do. Useless and helpless and worthless all wrapped in one.

But only for a second. Because Kara’s arms wrapped around her and pulled her into the bed next to her. Kara’s still wet clothes soaked into Alex’s dry ones reigniting the cold stuck beneath her skin, but Kara was like space heater, sending off waves of heat. Alex almost cried in relief at Kara’s reaction, but everything wasn’t okay yet. Kara was breathing too erratically, her eyes closed and her whole body shaking.

So Alex did what she always did when Kara was scared. She gently rubbed Kara’s back while she mixed Kryptonian lullabies with soft spoken assurances, knowing that could Kara would still be able to hear her through the headphones. Alex just hoped she was listening. Kara needed to hear some things.

“I love you Kara. I’ll always love you no matter what. You’re my sister and I love you so much. I know this is hard and scary, but you can get through it. I’ll help you. We’ll get through it together just like everything else we’ve dealt with. El mayarah remember. Stronger _together._ ”

It wasn’t until Alex stopped to take a breath that she noticed Kara had stilled. The shaking gone. Barely breathing. Alex pulled away suddenly, terrified that Kara wasn’t breathing at all.

But she found Kara staring at her. Blue eyes gazing through dirty glasses. Still holding nightmares and fear but there was more. Something fleeting and faint. Filling the empty places of what had been a vacant stare for too long. Almost unnamable, but Alex pulled the name from between their bated breaths.

Recognition.

Before Alex could even think of moving, Kara dove back into Alex’s arms, her head nuzzling between her neck and shoulder. And a quiet sound rose from her hidden face.

Quiet sniffling.

But no, like Kara’s eyes, there was more. Something else.

Stuttering, raspy vocalization.

A word.

Barely loud enough to hear.

Sounding more like a breath than a voice.

“Alex.”

* * *

There was too much noise. Hearts beating and dogs barking and thunder cracking and engines roaring and Kara’s own desperate cries. People were touching her. Hurting her. Talking too loud, too loud, too loud. And the woman. They were taking her away from the woman who was shivering and scared but watching Kara with wide eyes. Why wouldn’t she help her? Why was she letting them take her away? Again?

But when the woman disappeared as they turned the corner thoughts of her disappeared too. Kara felt like her mind was on fire and her body was burning along with it. Burning with planes and planets and people whose names she didn’t know if she wanted to reach out and remember.

She felt the people dragging her drop her onto her bed. Felt their hands leave but their touch lingered like ice on her skin. She opened her eyes, but she saw straight through them, straight through the walls. Seeing everything and nothing at once. Making her nauseous. She was losing control. Couldn’t fit the onslaught of memories. The woman running at her with a green sword, trying as hard as she could to kill her. A living plant wrapping itself around her body, squeezing so tight she thought she’d explode. A gun in her hand, smoking from the shot fired at a bloody body. They were real. Too real. Real dangers. Real pains.

She searched blindly for something, anything to help. Her hands caught on her own body and her finger nails ripped through her skin. Some relief came as she let herself focus on that urgent pain over everything else. But it didn’t last long and soon the scratches to her skin weren’t enough to overpower the memories.

Where was the woman? She had abandoned Kara to this. To suffer along. She left her. She left her. She left her.

But there was someone touching her again. Or Kara touched them. She didn’t know. The feeling disappeared quickly and was replaced with talking and it was too loud to recognize their voice, too loud to hear any words over the roar of everything else. No matter how hard she pressed against her ears the noise still punched its way through and beat against her.

Until something clunky somehow wrapped itself around her head, blocking her ears and muffling everything. It wasn’t quiet, nowhere near silent, but it wasn’t painfully loud anymore. And then another object slipped up her nose. Resting against her face in such a familiar way she couldn’t believe that she had ever forgotten the feeling. Her glasses. Calming. Soothing. Suppressing glasses. She’d had them for so long. Why hadn’t she been wearing them?

With the painful stimulation finally under wraps, Kara was left only with the swirling presences in her mind. But over the screaming of memories she still couldn’t figure out, she could finally hear soft breathing above her, a heartbeat following along. Kara knew it immediately.

She wasn’t gone. Hadn’t left her. Hadn’t abandoned her. Not like before.

And Kara couldn’t bear to let her go again, so she reached out—her eyes still sealed closed—and grabbed for the woman. She pulled her down and held on tight. Never letting go. Never going to let herself be alone again. And the woman held her back, her hands rub against Kara’s wet back, anchoring her to reality.

The woman began speaking again, words falling gently against the memories, beating them back a little at a time.

“I love you.”

“Sisters.”

“El Mayarah.”

And Kara remembered. Finally understood Not everything, but enough. Kara remembered _her_. Alex.

She jolted up, looking at the woman who had cared for her for so long. It was. It was her.

Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. Her sister. Who she loved. Who she couldn’t live without. Who didn’t leave her behind this time. She couldn’t believe this was real. Couldn’t stop the tears from falling from her eyes.

And the name fell too, slipping from her mouth, pushing past the bounds that kept her tongue stiff and unusable.

“Alex.”

Her sister grew suddenly stiff and Kara thought maybe she had done something wrong. Despite the renewed understanding, most things were still so confusing. Maybe she had missed something. Forgotten something. Memories flash to forefront of her mind. Alex standing side by side with a metal man, hurting her, taunting her. But it didn’t feel real, more like a nightmare than a memory.

And she’s right. It wasn’t real. Kara knew it as soon as Alex pulled her close again. Letting out a sob as she said, “Oh Kara, you’re back.”

She was back. Kara felt herself returning. Kara Zor-El Danvers. Sister of Alex Danvers. Reporter. Supergirl.

Last daughter of Krypton.

The last bricks of the wall in her mind toppled and all the memories came rushing at her, all at once and only a bit at a time. Just as overwhelming, choking, and constricting as before, but she could finally understand it. Alex had given her the key. The code to decipher herself.

She finally understood all the images that entered her mind. Astra. Krypton. Her parents. Jerimiah. Kal-El. All gone. Or lost. Or changed. And remembering was like reliving. Pain just as sharp and clear as it was the very first times.

But the guilt was the worst. It had eaten at her before and now she felt its hungry fangs devouring her. She had destroyed the Danvers family. Failed Kal-El and her mission for her parents. Killed the Cadmus soldier without a second thought.

And Alex. She had been the cause of so much pain for her sister. How could Alex hold her now after everything she had done? Kara wanted to apologize for it all. Lay out all her sins—not just towards her sister, but all her family both human and Kryptonian, all people, planets, the whole galaxy—before her and pay for everyone single one.

Yet through the shuddering sobs that paralleled Alex’s, Kara couldn’t do it. Her tongue wasn’t strong, wasn’t ready to let out the long apologizes. So she said the only thing she could.

“I’m so-rry. I-I-I’m sorry. “I’m sor-r-ry.”

* * *

The stuttering, almost incomprehensible, words muffled against her shoulder scared Alex more than all the shaking and crying and thrashing combined. Kara’s chant grew in intensity. She wasn’t speaking to just Alex anymore, it was too heavy for that. Too deep and frantic and searching.

And Alex couldn’t get her to stop. The flow of desperate pleading was never-ending. A crack in a dam releasing a sea. But that didn’t stop Alex from trying. Trying to seal the crack. Fix the problem—the need be a fixer, a helper, a problem solver was ingrained too deep to not try.

“It’s okay Kara. You’re okay. I’m okay. You don’t need to apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

But of course, that changed nothing and Alex knew in her heart that it wouldn’t. She knew guilt. Knew its weight. Knew that the more people denied it the more it twisted and grew, paranoia whispering that they were just lying, just saying things because they knew that’s what you wanted to hear. It takes time for the loved ones to find the right words, the healing balm for infected wounds, and it takes time for the guilty to accept them.

As Kara’s exercised her voice, new words and phrases joined the echoing refrain.

“I’m sor-ry. I’m sorry.”

“K-krypton’s gone.”

“Lost it. L… lost them.”

“I couldn’t… I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t m-mean…”

“—hurt you… anybody”

“I’m sor-ry, so-rry.”

“Failed… k-k-killed…”

But then Kara yanked her head away from Alex’s shoulder, staring up at her. Alex didn’t know whether to be happy that she could finally see Kara shining through her eyes instead of the blank vacancy that had filled them or terrified at the pain that spilled over with her tears.

“Al-ex… please… I’m s-sorry. _Please_. I’m sorry. I’m—“

And the words came, the ones Alex knew Kara needed. Waiting to be said. Waiting to start the healing.

“Kara I forgive you.”

Kara plunged back into her shoulder, sobbing again. But it was different. A key change to the miserable melody. Relief rang out. And the words stopped, leaving quiet moments between sobs. But they weren’t empty. They were filled with bittersweet happiness. They were together. The Danvers sister were back. Beaten and broken, but back and ready to try again. Alex knew it and she knew Kara knew it. She felt it in the way Kara’s arms wrapped around her, holding tight but not too tightly. They were safe. Alex finally felt safe.

Kara’s crying didn’t stop. A steady constant as everything else came and went in waves. Sometimes Kara seemed lost and distant again, trapped in her mind, while other she was too present, breathing frantically and sobbing intensely. Alex rode through the waves with Kara, holding her tighter and quietly singing until it eventually faded into repressed yawns and exhausted shudders. Yet Kara didn’t fall asleep. It was like she wouldn’t let herself.

“Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake you. I love you. It’s okay just sleep.”

Kara sighed, all the tension was gone from her body. Bled out in salty tears. Alex felt her drift, her head roll to the side and her breathing deepen.

Finally alone, Alex began to processe. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Kara to wake up screaming. Or for herself to wake up from her own dream. The day so far had been was unreal and yet too real to be something her subconscious made up. No. In her dreams everything would have been perfect. Less crying. Less screaming. Less pain. Only reality mixed the good with the bad.

And nothing changed. Kara slept peacefully in her arms. Alex shifted slightly, waiting until she was sure Kara wouldn’t wake up before moving more. She got off the bed and headed to the door. When she opened it she found Maggie and her mom seated on the ground in the hallway, but at the sight of the opening door they rose quickly. Both took turns embracing her.

“Kara?” Eliza whispered.

“She’s sleeping. She—“ Alex didn’t know how to explain all that had transpired and now that she thought about it she didn’t know if any of the progress Kara had made was permanent. When she woke up would she still remember? Was it wrong to lift Eliza’s hopes when it was possible that Kara would just revert? Alex finally decided that Eliza deserved to know the truth. “She spoke. She remembered things. She… she said my name.”

Both women gasped.

“She’s back?” Maggie asked.

“I really hope so.”

“What can we do?” Eliza asked, looking like she wanted to barrel past Alex and hold Kara. But she restrained herself.

“Wait. Let her rest. Be supportive when she wakes up again. Be prepared for anything,” Alex said speaking just as much to herself as she was to them.

They both nodded silently and Alex didn’t know how to express her gratitude that she wasn’t alone. That she had them both there to help her through this, to help Kara through this. Neither sister was alone.

“I think I am going to get her changed into some dry clothes and then try and sleep a bit too. I told her I would be there when she wakes up.”

They hugged her again and Maggie said, “We’ll be waiting here for you.”

Alex entered the room and closed the door again. She was nervous about how much moving and touching it would take to get Kara changed. She didn’t want to wake her up. But Kara was out like a log, snoring slightly and completely unware of Alex’s movements. It had been an exhausting morning for both of them. A huge yawn erupted from Alex’s lips only confirming that point.

Alex happily lay down next to Kara and pulled the blanket over them both. She snuggled close to Kara, enjoying the warmth her Kryptonian body temperature provided as it ate away the last bits of chill that remained from the cold rain. She didn’t let herself linger on any thoughts. Didn’t think about how bad it would hurt if Kara disappeared again. Didn’t think about how she would handle things if Kara was back, but still broken and sad and in need of help. Didn’t think at all. That could all wait for later.

Right now she just wanted to enjoy being with her sister: alive, safe, and warm.  

 

Alex was lifted from her dreamless sleep by rough shifting beside her. Twisting and struggling and fighting against the blankets. Alex rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked at her sister. And her stomach dropped.

Nothing had changed.

Kara’s eyes were hollow of everything, but fear again. Distant. Lacking the life that always had poured out of her, the life that had peered through before Alex let her sleep. Tears pricked at the edges of Alex’s own eyes, but she fought through them. Not letting herself mourn the loss of a sister that still lay breathing next to her. Even if Kara wasn’t back, she was still scared and Alex was never going to stop being there for Kara. No matter what.

Alex caught Kara’s face, cupping her cheeks in her hands, and made her look into her eyes. “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” she whispered as soothingly as she could.

And the shifting stopped, completely. Still. Paralyzed. Frozen.

Slowly blue eyes focused on hers.

“That’s right. It’s okay. I’m here.”

Kara’s body relaxed against the bed, her head leaning into Alex’s hand. And Alex let herself relax too. She let her eyes fall shut again. They had only slept for a few hours and Alex still felt groggy. The warmth of the blankets and Kara’s steady breathing eased her back into sleep—

“Y-y-you didn’t lea-ve?”

Air caught in Alex’s lungs.

She couldn’t open her eyes. Didn’t want to, because what if she had imagined it, dreamt it up. Three little words. So easily coming from her own head not reality.

“Al-ex?”

But it was real.

Alex’s eyes flashed open, this time she couldn’t stop the tears. They pooled in her eyes and blurred her vision, but she could see enough. Kara’s smile, drenched in heavy sadness but still bright and full. So much like the thirteen-year-old girl that had just lost her entire world, but still laughed at her sister’s silly jokes. And her eyes. The distance closing. Fountains springing up. Flooding and filling them full of life and recognition. She was there. Present.

Back.

An answer finally drew itself out of Alex. “I won’t leave you ever again.”

Somehow Kara’s smile got wider, the grief still there but diluted, outshone by the happiness. An uneven sigh escaped her lips, but her focus didn’t waver, didn’t fade, didn’t disappear.

“I lo-ve you, A-alex.

And they hugged each other. No tears. No panic. No pain. Just two sisters.

“I love you, too Kara.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo that chapter took me FOREVER to get through. be thankful that I have lots of determination because I didn't know whether or not I could get through this before I left. Speaking of I only have until sunday to post the very last sort of epilogue chapter I have planned but I don't have any of it really written yet and I'm still super busy with packing and spending time with my family before I leave them for 18 months so if you want to get the last update I really need your guys' help with keeping me motivated and inspired  
> sooooo let me know what you thought of this. was it satisfying? intense enough? fluffy enough? anything you want to see in my tying up loose ends last chapter? I would love to hear from any and all of you  
> And just so you all know I really love you guys and I appreciate all the support I've gotten. I didn't plan to make this story this long or deep but it grew on me because of you guys so thank you. And thank you to all the people who commented on every chapter you are all the coolest of cools.  
> THANK YOU!


	38. El Mayarah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Kara's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I did it, I finished my last chapter before I log off for 18 months. I apologize if the writing isn't very good with this one, a lot of it was done when I was sleep deprived in the wee hours of the morning but hopefully it isn't too bad.  
> I hope you enjoy!

“Kara, can I go and get Mom and Maggie? They are waiting outside,” Alex whispered. They had been drifting in and out of sleep for the last hour, but the desire to bask in the others presences kept them from drifting too far. They didn’t talk, just hugged and cried and breathed.

Kara snuggled down further into Alex’s arms, mumbling too quiet to hear. But Alex got the gist.

“I promise I won’t leave you. I’m just going to go to the door, I won’t even step through it. We can’t just leave them waiting and worried in the dark forever.”

“Oka-y,” Kara sigh, releasing her grip on Alex’s waist.

Alex stood up and swayed a little on her feet. Her head ached from napping so long, but the throbbing faded after a few seconds. She made her way to the door, but turned and gave Kara, who still lay in the bed watching her with wide eyes, a thumbs up.

The door creaked as she opened it, and Alex called out under her breath, “Mom? Maggie?”

There was a couple pounding footsteps and suddenly a body slammed into her, bear hugging her. And then another joined, but much more gently. A squeak coming from the bedroom caused them to separate (though Maggie’s arm remained firmly gripping Alex’s waist). Alex swirled around and saw Kara, sitting up in bed like she was going to try and stand up, looking tense and afraid.

Alex slowly approached the bed again, dragging Maggie with her and Eliza following behind. “Hey it’s okay. It’s just them. We’re safe.”

Kara relaxed a little, easing back down onto the bed, but her eyes still were wide and worried. They all joined her on the bed, sitting on the edges. But nobody knew what to say. No one wanted to cut through the silence that hardened around them.

Until Maggie finally whispered, “Hi little Danvers.”

Kara avoided looking at anyone, staring intently at her trembling fingers. But Alex reached out and intertwined her fingers with Kara’s. The blonde’s eyes darted up to look at her and Alex gave a small reassuring nod.

“Hi, M-Mag-g-ie,” Kara said

Maggie’s face split into a huge dimpled smile.

Kara turned her face to look at Eliza sitting on the other side of Alex. She moved the hand not being held by Alex’s and reached out for Eliza’s. The older woman hand met hers in the middle. “H-hi Eliza.”

Eliza erupted into tears. And as if that was the signal, they were all crying. Happy tears breaking up the tension of the moment.

“I missed you so much, sweetie,” Eliza said.

“I m-missed you gu-uys too. Not that y-you were ever gone. I was th-the one that l-left.”

“That wasn’t your fault. It was Cadmus’s,” Alex said firmly. Kara didn’t need another thing to feel guilty for.

Instead Kara seemed perplexed. “What did… what ha-happened to me? I don’t really… I remember but… it’s all m-mixed up an-d-d confusing.”

The three upright women exchanged loaded glances. Where to start? What to say? There was too much. But Alex took the lead.

“Cadmus tried to capture us but we were able to escape. It took a while for us to get safe again and you got hurt. Really bad. You had a stroke. You’re still recovering. It was traumatic both physically and mentally which is why you are having memory problems and difficultly speaking. But we’ll help you whatever ways we can.”

Kara sucked in a deep breath and exhaled, a puff of icy air coming out. “My powers are back?” she said in shock, only just realizing the development.

“They have been coming back slowly,” Alex started before Eliza jumped into the conversation.

“But the storm and everything gave you enough of an adrenaline rush that your powers got kickstarted. Which was not good timing, but maybe it will aid in your healing.”

Kara glanced up at Alex with a slight smirk. They both could see the look in their mom’s eye. The same one she got whenever there was some scientific puzzle for her to solve. And it made Alex want to cry, not her mom but Kara. She hadn’t known if she would ever be able to share silent jokes and conversations with Kara again. To be able to laugh and talk like they had before. She had always wished it would happen again, but sometimes she didn’t dare to hope.

“We’ll get the sun lamps set up and run test to check your cognitive functions and your powers and several other things. Also we need to work on making sure that you can control your powers again,” Eliza continued making plans, completely unaware of her daughters interchange.

Alex joined in, talking strategies and science. But her hand was still gripped tightly in Kara’s. No plans of letting go. Even though Alex was very intently focused on her conversation with Eliza, she still kept a watchful eye on her sister.

Kara seemed content to just sit and listen, her eyes flashing to whoever was speaking at the moment.

Maggie leaned closer to Kara and whispered—just loud enough that Alex was able to catch it. “I’m really glad you’re back little Danvers.”

Kara looked up at her and smiled. “I-I am too.”

 

In the preceding weeks, Alex was reminded again and again of her teenage years in Midvale. While their time before the storm had been spent mostly lounging around, now Kara and Alex were as busy as ever. Kara had so much to relearn, to remember, to practice. Just like a little thirteen year old refugee had. But Alex was always by her side helping her along just like when they were kids. There were some major differences—they both were older, Maggie was there for a while and continued to visit often, Alex didn’t let dumb boys or popularity draw her away from Kara, and more—but nostalgia still heaved its way to the forefront of most of Alex’s day to day activities.

With Kara being aware and responding, her physical therapy was much more successful. Despite her strength returning, her muscles and brain still needed practice on working together again. Every session made her a little better and soon she was able to control her limbs almost as easily as before. But she still struggled for a long time with keeping her balance and becoming tired quickly. This made walking difficult. Her physical therapist had recommended that Kara still use her wheelchair until she could walk without falling. But Kara despised having to be pushed around in a wheelchair, and tried to walk as much as she could. At first that only led to a lot of falling down—with superstrength that also meant a lot of breaking things. Alex would hear a crash in another room and sprint over, terrified that Kara was hurt or being attacked, but she would only find a broken chair or lamp and a sheepish looking Kara on the ground. Alex would sigh and pick up the mess after helping Kara up, but she couldn’t help but be amused at her sister’s antics. That same sheepish look had adorned a teenage Kara’s face who had been in a similar predicament more times than Alex could count. The destruction was just another reminder that, while different now, that Kara was back.

Alex continued helping Kara paint every day and now she had a new masterpiece almost every day. The sunset and the ocean or towers in Krypton. Portraits of Eliza or Alex or even Maggie. Kara painted everything. Her physical therapy sessions had extended to work on making her fine motor skills better, but she still struggled to get her hands to do what she wanted or stop shaking. Kara didn’t let that stop her though. She used the painting to practice control over both her hands and strength. She had to grip the brush gently, not wanting to break it or the canvas. At first Kara would get frustrated when the tremors in her hand caused her to run an unwanted streak across her progress or punch a whole straight through it, but as time progressed she gained more control. But more importantly she learned to use the trembling, the mistakes she made, and create something new and better with them. Those paintings were unique and so different from what Kara had painted before, but still so her and so beautiful. Alex told her often that the paintings that came from the days when the shaking was the worst and she could barely keep the brush steady were the best.

With the help of DEO, Kara was also able to connect through skype with a speech therapist who would be discreet about any alien information that needed to be disclosed. The daily exercises they taught her helped her to work the stutters and pauses out of her speech (except when she was nervous or flustered but Alex assured the specialist that that was normal).

Kara wasn’t just relearning physical things, she had a lot of work to do mentally. She constantly had question, trying to piece together all of her memories and throw out the things that were just dreams, just nightmares. Kara filled their days with the more mundane questions.

“I did date a boy named Chris, right? He was weird and refused to buy popcorn at movies, right?”

“Yes, but your relationship didn’t last long. You told me after you broke up that he was getting between you and popcorn so it had to end.”

But at night when they lay alone in bed, quietly whispering to each other to remind the other that they were safe and that the nightmares that came weren’t real, Kara had harder questions.

“Alex… did…”

“You can ask if you want Kara. You don’t have to be afraid.”

“Did Jerimiah die… or well you told me he didn’t die, I remember him being alive and helping me. He was captured but he’s gone now. Where did he go again, I can’t remember that?”

“We don’t… we don’t know. We’re trying to find him, but I think he wants to stay hidden… at least for now. But that wasn’t what you were going to ask.”

“Oh yeah… um… was he captured… because of me? I think I remember it being my fault.”

It was hard and it dredged up things that Alex would have wanted to continue not to think about, but Kara deserved the truth. So she gave it to her. And sometimes speaking the truth helped her recognize things just as much as it did for Kara.

“He did join the DEO to protect you, but he was captured because of Cadmus. It wasn’t your fault. It was Cadmus’s fault. We’re a family and that means we do reckless, dangerous things to protect each other. And if one of us gets hurt saving the other it’s not the person who was saved’s fault. He loved you so he protected you. You should never feel guilty about someone loving you. It’s not your fault.” And it started to dawn on her that maybe it wasn’t her fault that Kara got hurt trying to save her either.

The late night talking helped. It healed and soothed wounds they both had forgotten about and let fester. But it wasn’t enough. Kara still often woke up screaming, speaking gibberish Kryptonian until Alex calmed her down. Or when things got overwhelming or scary Alex would see some of Kara’s light drift away. The distance returning in her eyes. Alex was always there to get her out of the situation that triggered her, bringing her to some quiet room away from everyone else. She would quietly speak or sing to her until she was able to slowly draw Kara back. Tears and fear always came with the returning light and she would cry and apologize over and over and over again for leaving and scaring Alex. Alex did all she could to comfort Kara, saying that she forgave her and it was all right. But it terrified Alex. What if Kara left and never came back? Alex didn’t think she could handle that. So she made Kara start seeing the DEO therapist she had been working with.

And Kara did not like it. She would come out of her sessions irritated and emotional. When asked why she disliked it so much she always said that had too much therapy: physical, speech, and now psychological. She was all “therapied out”. But that was just a deflection and Alex knew it. It took a little bit of prodding, but Alex finally got Kara to spill the real reason.

“I just… she wants me to talk about things and that’s alright about somethings but then she asks about, you know, sensitive stuff and I don’t want to talk about them especially with a stranger.”

Alex understood completely. It had taken her a long time to warm up to her therapists. The first few sessions had been really rough. But she had an idea to help Kara.

“What if I went with you? I could sit with you through it and when she asks a question about something you don’t want to tell her you can just tell me and ignore her. Would that be good?”

The bright smile Alex received was answer enough.

* * *

It was Kara’s last weekend in Midvale before her and Alex were headed back to National City. It had taken a lot of convincing, but she had finally talked Alex, Eliza, and J’onn into letting her go. It wasn’t that she didn’t love being in Midvale with Eliza, but she was getting bored. As the weeks wore away in her recovery, the walls of her childhood home started to feel more and more like prison bars. She wanted to go back to her apartment, to Noonan’s and the alien bar. She wanted to get out and start doing things. That desire seemed to only worry her little family more. But she knew their worries were misplaced. They thought that she was going to push herself too hard and then get upset when she couldn’t do things like she used to. And maybe given her track record of stubbornness and impatience that might happen. Okay it _probably_ would happen. But that shouldn’t stop her.

She knew that things weren’t going to be the same. Kara had accepted it. The realization came somewhere in between having to constantly cling to things to keep herself from toppling over when she walked and spilling spoonful after spoonful of food on her lap because her hands shook too much. And yes, she was getting much better when it came to those things, but there were others that still evaded her. A loud sound could send her into a fit of fear and shaking. She had a harder time focusing now and often found herself floating off in her thoughts only to be ripped back to reality by Alex or her own fear of disappearing again. And her memories were still a mixed up mess with too many nightmares intermingled in that refused to become clear no matter how much time she spent picking through them or asking Alex questions.

She wasn’t the same and things weren’t going to be the same. But she still had to live life. She couldn’t be sheltered in Midvale forever. She wanted to progress. To work up to being independent again, to be able to work at Catco and be Supergirl. The call to do something—to write, to serve, to help those who still called out for her whether it was Kara Danvers or Supergirl—was too strong to ignore. It wasn’t going to happen right away and she would have to do things differently. But she would get there eventually.

Alex, Eliza, and J’onn saw her point after a lot arguing and agreed. Of course there were conditions. Alex had to stay with her in her apartment and she wasn’t allowed to do anything Supergirl related until they all agreed that she was ready. The former was easy to agree to, but she didn’t want to be restrained by them when it came to being Supergirl. If people were in danger she wanted to try and help them. But she had to agree that they were right; she did need more time to recover before she started superheroing again.

So Kara and Alex were leaving Midvale on Monday, but that left them a whole weekend to live it up. Of course that meant they were going to invite all their friends and have a party. Kara joked that they were somehow fulfilling a high school fantasy to have a giant house party. To which Alex laughed and reminded her that they were inviting four people and their mom would be there.

Not everyone that Kara wanted to come could. Vasquez and Lucy had to stay and run the DEO so that J’onn could come. Clark was busy dealing with some villain, Grundy or something like that. He apologized profusely, but Kara understood. Lena couldn’t make it either. She was still working overtime on cleaning up after Lillian and Lex. But she promised to visit as soon her as Kara was back in National City and expressed just how worried she had been. Both of them could barely wait to see the friend they had missed so much again. Kara didn’t invite Cat (her agreeing to come to Kara’s lowly home and spend a night goofing off with Kara’s friends might give Kara another stroke), but she did have a long conversation with her mentor. There were tears shed on both sides. Also there was possibly some confessions that would require some NDAs and lead to some scolding from Alex and J’onn, but Kara didn’t care. Cat deserved to know. She wasn’t surprised to find that Cat already knew. Still Cat appreciated the honesty and didn’t threaten Kara’s job again.

But J’onn, James, Winn, and Maggie were coming. And it was great. Games and movies and food. Kara ate so many potstickers that even her Kryptonian stomach felt full. She joked with her friends, lost horribly at charades to Alex and Maggie, got multiple big warm hugs from J’onn, and fell asleep between her sister and Eliza on the couch half way through the movie Grease.

Kara felt so happy the whole time. Like herself again.

She woke up as the movie ended and everyone was getting ready to go to bed, sleeping bags being strewn across the floor and Eliza directing some to stay in the guest rooms. Alex and Maggie pulled Kara up off the couch and held on to her as she got her bearings. Together all three of them made their way up to Kara’s room.

When they entered and Kara sat down on her bed yawning, Alex tossed a backpack at her. Kara barely caught it before it smacked into her stomach (her reflexes still weren’t what they used to be). She huffed and glared up at Alex.

“What was that for?”

“It’s not time for bed yet sleepy head,” Alex said with a sly smile as she pulled a backpack of her own over her shoulders.

Still confused, Kara stood and put her backpack on. She looked to Maggie, thinking maybe she would provide some answers.

But all Maggie said was, “I’ll cover for you guys in case someone comes looking. Call if you need anything.”

“Where are we going?” Kara asked.

“You’ll see,” Alex answered. She opened up the window and jumped out into the night.

Kara looked at her in shock. They hadn’t snuck out like that since they were teenagers.

“Come on Kara, we don’t have all night,” Alex urged from outside where she stood on the roof.

Kara followed her out, still very confused at what was happening.

“Have fun,” Maggie said before closing the window behind them.

Alex scurried to the edge of the roof and peered down to the ground below. “You think you can fly us down?”

“Yes, but I won’t until you tell me what’s going on.”

Alex sighed. “Can you please just let this be a surprise? I have been planning it for days.”

“Okkaaayyyy, I guess I’ll wait.” Kara wrapped an arm around Alex and then floated them down slowly.

“Follow me,” Alex said pulling out a flashlight and dragging Kara along behind her, not giving her much of a choice.

Kara quickly caught up and fell into step beside Alex. Alex quickly guided them away from the houses and streets up into the cliffs overlooking the ocean. The farther they went the more curious Kara became, but she still didn’t know what they were doing.

Alex stopped out of nowhere and dropped her bag on the ground. She started digging through it, pulling things out. Kara remained standing and looked around. They were still at the edge of the cliff. It was high, but the loud crash of the ocean below echoed up at them. Trees clung on every side, creating a hidden little spot for them. It all felt so familiar.

“We used to come here didn’t we?” Kara asked.

 “Yup, when we were kids,” Alex answered as she laid out a big blanket. She turned and started to build up a little fire pit. When she had a nice circle of stones and some sticks stacked up she turned back to Kara. “You think you can give it a little shot with your eyes?”

Kara obliged and then sat down on the blanket, enjoying the warmth the little fire already started to provide. Alex plopped down next to her and pulled her into a tight hug.

“I don’t know if you remember, but when we were stuck out there in the wilderness I promised that we would come out and do this again like we used too.”

Kara sifted through her memories until she found the one she wanted. It came easier than she had expected. She had been soaked in pain from her fresh wounds and fearful for herself and Alex. But the stars were bright and comforting and Alex was there promising they would get home safe and have a chance to stargaze again. She had clung to those words so tightly. Letting them give her the hope she needed to hold on a little longer.

“I do remember,” she finally breathed out, leaning into Alex further.

They laid down on the blanket and gazed up at the night sky. They pointed out constellations and planets, reminding each other of all the science and lore attached to each one.

But it wasn’t long before Kara stomach rumbled and interrupted them.

“You ate like a million potstickers today, how can you still be hungry?” Alex scoffed.

Kara shrugged. “Partying just makes me hungry I guess. I’ll be fine until we get home.”

“Nope,” Alex said, sitting up. “Check your backpack.”

Kara raised an eye brow at her, but sat up and unzipped the bag. The sight of the contents made her squeal. “S’mores!” She dropped the bag and engulfed Alex in a hug. “You are the best sister ever.”

“I know, I know. Get off of me you sap. Let’s start roasting them,” Alex laughed as she pushed Kara away.

Kara pulled out all the supplies and handed a stake to Alex before shoving a ridiculous number of marshmallows on her own. Together they held them over the fire. Alex was careful to keep her single marshmallow at a perfect distance from the flames and constantly rotated it so that it would be golden, but Kara’s let hers dip too close and all eight caught fire. She quickly blew them out and started making up the s’mores. By the time Kara finished devouring all of them, Alex was only just building her first. When they were both full, Alex had eaten two and Kara had eaten two dozen.

“I forgot how good s’mores were,” Kara moaned as she laid back on the blanket again. “Thank you.”

Alex joined her on the ground. “Don’t mention it. I figured you would get hungry and s’mores are the obvious stargazing treat.”

But Kara turned over, pushing herself up with one hand. “No really Alex. I’m serious. Thank you. For this. For taking care of me. For saving me… thank you.”

“You saved me just as much as I saved you. You might not remember it all, but you saved me from the plane, from the Cadmus agents, even from Henshaw. Thank _you_.”

“That’s our thing. We save each other,” Kara said smiling. But then the smile faded from her lips. “I remember most of it, although it gets a little blurrier in the middle until after Henshaw got me. I don’t think I would remember much of that part even if my head didn’t get screwed up. But after I took the adrenaline there were things… I saw… I don’t know what’s real and what was just in my head. I haven’t wanted to talk about it even with you because I’ve been afraid that maybe it was real or maybe I was just being weak but I’m sorry I haven’t told you. I didn’t mean to keep secrets—“

“Woah, woah,” Alex cut off Kara’s rambling, putting a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t want to.”

Kara sighed and flopped onto her back again. “But I do want to tell you and I want to know what’s real.”

Alex remained silent letting Kara get her thoughts together.

“I saw things. I didn’t know it then, but they were hallucinations from the adrenaline. They couldn’t have all been real. Astra was there and she was angry and hurting me. But she couldn’t have been there. I know she wasn’t real. But I remember y-you too. You were mad at me. You said… you s-said ha-hated me and then you were at-atackingme alongside Henshaw. And then you were th-there trying to help me. I-I just can’t tell the real from the n-ightmare no matter how illogical that may s-seem. And I can’t stop dreaming about it again and a-again. It all felt s-so real.”

Now it was Alex’s turn to sit up. She leaned over Kara and wiped at the tears that had formed as she had spoken. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through that and that I ever gave you a reason to think those things we real. But _they weren’t_. I love you so much. I could never hurt you like that.”

Kara released a quiet sob and curled into Alex’s side.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t real. I love you. It wasn’t real,” Alex repeated quietly until Kara’s sobs died down.

They lay there silently wrapped around each other, but then Alex broke the silence.

“I have something I haven’t told you either.”

Kara looked up at her curiously.

“When you first woke up from your coma I was there. I was the only person there actually. I was so excited to see you, but when you looked at me you were terrified. You cringed away from me. And I ran away, left you alone with the doctors. I thought you were afraid of me. That you were upset at me because I was the reason you had gotten hurt. That’s why you were worried about me leaving you right? Because I was a coward and ran away from you.”

“I don’t really…” Kara struggled to find the words to help Alex who was staring straight ahead trying too hard not to cry. “It’s all fuzzy, but if I was afraid of you it was because of the nightmares not because of you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I was scared and you were scared… we’re still scared.”

Alex finally sighed and looked at Kara. “Do you think we’ll ever escape it? The fear and everything from being out _there_?”

Kara pondered that for a moment. “I don’t really think so. All the bad stuff I’ve gone through. Krypton blowing up and the Black Mercy and everything, I still feel it. I sometimes feel like I’m trapped in the Phantom Zone or on a burning planet. I think what happened… it’s going to stay with us. There are going to be times when it feels like we are still out there, still stuck in the wilderness with Cadmus and wolves and Henshaw. But that’s okay. You and Eliza taught me that when I first got here. It’s okay to be sad and scared as long as you don’t let those things keep you from living. I think that having those things, having the wilderness and Krypton, doesn’t ruin you but just adds more to you. Makes you more human, or Kryptonian in my case.”

Alex slowly nodded and then her face split into a grin, “What would I ever do without you?”

“You’d probably turn into a hermit living in the armory at the DEO,” Kara said chuckling.

Alex feign slapped at her and Kara tried to escape the attack, but Alex wrapped her arms around her and Kara let herself be captured. They laughed and laughed and then lay silently, both breathing heavily. Not feeling very weak or scared. No experience able to drag them away from happiness. Not when they had each other. The Danvers sisters, growing stronger. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done!!!! I really can't believe that it got this long. I only had like 5 chapters planned when I started this but you guys liked what I wrote so I just couldn't stop. It's been really fun and I've really loved hearing your thoughts. It gave me a ton more confidence in my writing. Thank you thank thank you for commenting and reading and giving kudos.  
> I will be not on the internet for a while so if you comment and I don't reply I am sorry I will read them eventually but just know that I really really appreciate the support.   
> I hope you liked this last chapter, let me know if you did and I'll maybe see you back on the archive in a year and a half!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading I appreciate any comments, kudos, and helpful criticisms.


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